Broken and Beautiful

 

"Moses said to the LORD, 'Pardon your servant, Lord.

I have never been eloquent, neither in the past 

nor since you have spoken to your servant.

I am slow of speech and tongue.'

And the LORD said to him,

'Who gave human beings their mouths?

Who makes them deaf or mute?  Is it not I, the LORD?

Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.'"

Exodus 4:10-12

We're at it again with the scraping and painting.  This time it's a fresh look for the front of the building that is the main structure on the property next door.  This is a new stage in the reclaiming project we've undertaken; a vision that is taking its time to unfold, but has many layers of depth for us.

Not unlike the layers of paint that needs to be scraped down before new paint can be applied.

When we first got here and I started the scraping on the other building, the only tool I could find was this rusted out one with a broken off notch on the one side.  I knew we had newer ones, but there are no end of places they could be; at the other property, in the boat house, in the back shed.  When the mood strikes and the day is good for it, you don't have time for all that searching about.  I grabbed this scraper and went to town.  

We did find the other better, more intact, scrapers, one of them brand new in fact.  But by then I had actually discovered that this broken one had a special feature.  The rusted out piece provided a hook that most definitely helped loosen chunks of old paint from the corners.  This particular scraper, with its imperfections, became my preferred instrument to get the job done.

Then there's Moses.  But back to him in a second.

Like most humans, I suspect, I can get quite frustrated with the bits about me that I consider defective.  I won't list them here, since they're quite obvious to those who know me anyways.  Or, by chance you might not agree and feel the need to correct and encourage me.  Or you might and feel relief that I've finally figured it out and comment that you've been 'praying for a long time that I would come to my senses' (which is actually what someone once said to me in a vulnerable moment, but anyways).  Or you might instead begin with a list of your own deficiencies for yourself and start feeling all down about yourself which is the exactly the opposite of the intention of this post.  And all of that would just distract us.

The thing is, there's enough in the Bible to suggest that a) God's quite intentional, b) He knows what He's doing, and c) we all have good work to do.  And if I put that together with what He said to Moses that day when Moses complained about his own defectiveness, then, I can't help but wonder if most of the time what we perceive as being deficient isn't actually something God considers a bonus.

I admit, the part about Him 'confessing' that He had something to do with folks who are deaf and mute has some troubling ethics.  This of course wouldn't just then be about disabilities related to communication only, which was the topic at hand in the conversation, but about anything we humans tend to regard as less than ideal.  But isn't it curious that our current attempts to speak in ways that do no label folks would have us now refer to such individuals as 'differently abled.'  Which may or may not have been God's point.

What if we could actually embrace ourselves and celebrate all the ways we aren't perfect, and the ways we don't live up to our culture's ideals of beauty or ability or achievement.  What if there were things about us that were both quirky and helpful to the good work God's given us to do?

It's hard to see it sometimes, I know.  And to be honest, I didn't really start to believe this about myself until recently, as in until I was well into my 50s.  So maybe it's something you can own only after you've seen the repeated evidence of God's ability to use you in spite of/because of yourself over a life time.  I don't know.  I wish I could have caught on to this sooner. 

And by the way.  Yay and hooray for my enthusiastic and wonderfully inspiring brothers and sisters in this wide and diverse faith we call Christianity that preach and experience unusual and dramatic signs and wonders, particularly in the realm of physical healing.  Thank you for your life and ministry and for bringing attention to the power of the risen Lord by means of the miraculous.  

And also, there are miracles of a deep and profound nature when people 'afflicted' refuse to be defined or restrained, and move powerfully in their world to affect change and bring about the kingdom of God 'on earth as it is in heaven.'   In my own life and ministry, I seem to have been witness to more of the latter kind of miracle.  And it is a powerful privilege indeed.

While I was meditating on these things, I came across this clip from The Chosen, where Jesus is explaining to James why James won't be healed.  It's quite moving.  Beautifully done.  Maybe it's something to encourage your own heart.

Okay, back to some scraping before this day gets too hot.  Let's see, where is that most useful scraper?

The Devine is in the Details

This Georgian Bay sky will always leave me breathless.  

Awesome. 

Holy. 

Worship.  

It's one of the ways I best connect with God while I'm here.  

The glory of God so right in your face.  

So, so much of it!

Any time of day or night, any kind of weather.

But I admit that sometimes my eye is pulled into those things that are much smaller.

Like an inchworm resting on a finishing nail.  

Or any number of diminutive blossoms.

The details.  The whimsy.  The precision.  The simplicity. 

Inside and outside.  

Surprising and mundane.  

Ordinary and beautiful.

Miniscule miracles.  

And I find God there too.

So there.

Breathless.

Awesome.

Holy.

Worship.

I can understand why

it's often said 'the devil is in the details.'

Especially these days,

when it doesn't take much to overwhelm

my short term memory

and make me forget something really

really important

in a long detailed list of things.

But I also believe

the Divine is in the details too.

That He delights in the small things.

Both in creation,

and even in what's small but important to me.

Even about me.

Jesus said so.

"Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies?

Yet not one of them is forgotten by God.

Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

Don't be afraid;

you are worth more than many sparrows."
Luke 12:6-7

Sometimes we need God to be all big and vast.

Like all the colours of a sunset's silent scream of glory across the sky.

Or maybe roaring

as Aslan

to deliver Narnia in an awesome battle.

But sometimes, 

if you're like me,

 I guess,

you need God to show up in the small spaces.

In the details.

In the mundane.

If you need more convincing,

or if you just need God to be small enough for you right now,

I've included a link to a Christian musician I've been fond of for quite some time now.

Take a listen, if you like.

And glory in the small things.

Small Enough by Nicole Nordeman

 

But Not Destroyed

Mandevilla (Rock Trumpet)

This is no ordinary flower.  In fact, of all the happy discoveries of every blossom I've ever posted, whether found wild along the way or bought at the grocery store garden centre, this new bloom on this particular mandevilla plant has surprised and inspired me most.  

Given all it's been though, I honestly didn't think it would make it.  There's been quite the series of unfortunate events to navigate.  First, it was me that bought it.  That alone should send a chill down the stem of any poor plant who finds itself under my care.  But Sobeys had a sale, and I knew that Rock Trumpets usually do so well on our deck, and we were soon enough heading to the cottage.  So I got two.

Then it had to survive out on my porch in Kitchener for about three weeks.  Again, under my care.  And it did! Both of them did!  Then it had to make the trip, not just in the hot van, but also on the wild and windy boat, to even get here.

Several large blooms and many small buds were flowering already for each plant.  I had high hopes for attracting the humming birds, and watching them fill out the containers in rich pinks and deep greens, as was my happy gift in seasons past.

Seasons Past

But alas, didn't those darn chipmunks decide to snack on the small buds!  I had been back in the city for just four days.  Four days!  As if it was a protest because I wasn't there with peanuts! They'd never done this before, chewed on my flowers.  And I have to say I was, and am, quite annoyed with them for this. They're cute, but...the nerve!

So that's when the plants had to endure yet another set back. 

And here I will reveal my utter incompetence as a gardener.  And I'm tempted to skip this part because I realize how stupid it will make me sound.  But it's important to the story so, here goes.  Laugh at me if you must.  I had a fleeting idea.  That's all it was.  While I was spraying bug repellent on my legs, out on the deck, and because some of it hung in the air and I got a slight taste of the stuff, and because it was rather horrible, and because the plants were right there, all nibbled on, I thought, what if I just gave the chipmunks something icky to have to deal with?  So I gave the plants a quick spray.

Horrifying, I know.  But, honestly, it wasn't very much at all.  Just a misting really.  But by the next day I realized what an awful, sad mistake that was.  Because now the leaves were turning brown.

Oh no!  Between the chipmunks and me!  These poor plants!!!!!

I was feeling so guilty that I couldn't just throw them away.  Besides three small buds, teeny ones, two on the other plant and one on this one, things weren't looking so good.  They were dying.  It sure looked that way.  I had to bring them inside.  More to provide palliative care than anything else.

But then, am I imagining it?  The small buds held on.  It took a while, but they started to look like something could actually happen.  With just a hint of hope, and because the family was arriving and we needed the table space, I moved them back outside again.  

This time, with plenty of peanuts and no end of folks to feed them and entertain them, the chipmunks left the flowers alone.  I was so excited!!!!!

But yet another calamity came the morning the bear visited the deck.

I was here alone.  Of course I was.  When else would a bear decide to show up?

I heard a thunk outside, early, about 5:30 a.m.  And I went out intending to shoo away the racoon who had been on the railing several days before.  Instead, the rump of a juvenile black bear was just heading down the stairs.  No pictures were taken, given I did the right thing and stomped on the floor and banged on the windows to scare him away.  

Here's the thing.  The thunk I'd heard was the bear knocking over the birdhouse we've been filling with peanuts for the chipmunks.  

[Insert here the stern warnings, and very understandable scowly frowns of everyone saying that's what you get when you have peanut shells lying about, and a note to say that we've hosed down the deck and taken a break on the peanuts for a bit.]  

But back to this bloom.

The birdhouse landed right on top of this bud, almost in bloom, and from the looks of it to me, broke off the stem!  Almost anyways.  And honestly, I was not so freaked out about the bear as I was about this last affront to this little bloom who had survived so much thus far, only to be knocked down once again in the end.

Such a sad ending -- or it would have been.

I propped it up, apologizing profusely and saying that I appreciated how much it had tried already, and wasn't it a shame that the bear had come by at all.  And when I propped it up, it kind of stayed up.  No supporting stick or anything.  Just stayed standing up.  So I left it alone, and went back inside because, well, I was still in my pajamas.

Then later that day, I saw it.  And just stopped.  And I am so impressed.

You tenacious, persistent, defiant, beautiful thing you!!!!!

You were purchased by a buffoon of a gardener, flourished in spite of me on my porch at home, survived the ride in the van and the boat, avoided being eaten by the chipmunks, hunkered down and waited it out after I poisoned you with bug spray, and did not let a bear and a broken stem keep you from opening up your beauty to the sky!

And yes this reminds me of something Paul said.

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.  We are hard-pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed but not in despair, persecuted but not abandoned, struck-down but not destroyed."  2 Corinthians 4:7-9

It's like the flower said, "So there!"

And without in any way wanting to diminish the horrific events Paul's readers, and some of us, have had to live through, there's something about this defiant delicate bloom that makes me believe I can do it too!  Not in my own strength.  That would be futile.  But in the all-surpassing power that God's grace keeps ridiculously pouring into this jar of clay.

My deck doesn't look as lush has it has in seasons past.  But maybe it tells a better story.  And I don't know who needs to hear about hanging on and letting God hold on to you right now, but maybe, if you do, go get a rock trumpet.  They are feisty!

Rainy Day Ramblings

After an entire string of days with blistering July weather, all of which we enjoyed in all it's summer glory, we are every one of us happy to hunker down into this rainy day cottage vibe.  And even though it's not a steady rain, it's overcast and blowy, and I can already see another dark mass of clouds coming in over the bay.  So we're inside today.  

We've done so many things outside already!  Swimming, kayaking (even out to the Lizard and back), frog catching, reading, fishing, snake hunting (even a rattlesnake which was safely relocated), painting, feeding chipmunks, journaling down on the boat.  

We've been to Picnic Island and to Midland for ice cream and everything else respectively.  

We've seen the sun rise and the sun set and the blue skies and stars in between.  All our towels and swimsuits have been thrown haphazardly over the deck railing.  

All the life jackets and sun hats are everywhere and nowhere, depending on if you're trying to make your way across the deck or need to find them for the next boat adventure.

And it's all happened outside and wild-like.  And lazy,  because it's been so hot.  All the fans are going, and all the freezies are being slurp-crunched down, and not just by the kids.

So now, today, time for bed forts and board games and puzzles and reading out loud to people who can already read but reading out loud makes for such great memories anyways.  Time for s'mores maybe, now that we can finally tolerate the idea of putting on a fire.  Time to just be quiet and silly and inside together.

These family times in this place have come to mean so much to my heart that it is literally not possible to measure their worth.  Memories, bonding, growing up together, telling our stories and writing new chapters.  

Proverbs 17:6 says that "Grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their parents."  And I feel like I'm living that dream.

We didn't coast here on an easy road.  Our story is deep and painful in some of its wretchedness.  Parenting is impossible to do perfectly, and it's easy to make mistakes that wound and require long patience and slow, meaningful forgiveness.  I, myself, am keenly aware of all there is about me that makes these cozy, safe rainy day realities nothing but a grace upon grace that I don't deserve.  

So there's nothing for it but just to sit and be grateful in it.  In the close way of it.  In the overwhelming love of it.  Holding on to it, but with a loose grip, knowing these moments are fleeting, and don't really, truly belong to me anyways, except for the gift it is from the Giver of every good thing.

All In!

David James

Happy Birthday David!

A bit late, but I can quite easily blame it on all of the 'full house' goings on here at the cottage this week.

Everyone arrived on the 12th, just in time for David's birthday on July 13th.  His actual day of birth being a Friday so, so much for that bad luck thing, because this guy is truly one of the best things ever bestowed upon me.

I love this picture of his two year old 'all in' approach to swimming, because it was how he engaged with the world in his growing up years, and how he does now.  Fully present in every moment, wide with expectations and loving the surprises of curious spontaneity.  

These days we are together reclaiming and redeeming the very same space by the water where he so exuberantly splashed himself in face first, over and over, that summer so long ago.   There's so much story in between then and today, but/and we could not be in a better chapter right now.  It means so much to me that we figured out how to do this.  And that we both waited for it.

I'm glad you could spend you birthday here, David.  It only makes sense.  

I'm so proud of you who are...in spite of me.

And On It Goes (And Comes Off)

There's just so many things that are happy for me about this picture.

I should say first, though, that we are already well past half way through the "no parents" week with Zachary, Harvest, Jayden and Timothy, and it's going so very well.  [We miss Abby, since this is the first year she has a 'real job' and can't join us for family cottage time.  Hence the earlier time with just her.  Like paint, things change, then come around again.  So I'm told, so I've lived.]

But this picture.

As a reminder, because it's even hard for us to keep track of it all, that we have two properties side by side.  Nothing fancy, believe me.  We're prone to referring to our cottage as 'quaint,' or 'rustic,' or perhaps 'vintage.'  And that's the good half.

Still, it's a two for one deal, with one side quite comfortable and livable, and the other in transition between derelict and reclaimed.  The second property is where the bunkie is.  And where Jayden and Timothy are here scraping paint.

First happy thing - The boys are still at the age where helping Gramma with anything is fun!  Bonus!

Next happy thing - They are working with me on the water-facing outer wall of what we call the 'main building' on the second property.  In the process of our reclamation, it's going to be a big encouragement to us all if we can just slap on a badly needed fresh coat of paint. 

 

Next happy thing - Creating memories attached to ownership.  All of us have our own youthful memories of various iterations of the buildings here; when we got indoor plumbing, when the deck was added, when the plank floors were liberated from the linoleum, when we changed the outside paint from green to grey.  It's part of the tradition.  

I didn't arrive until I was 16, but still.  In 52 years a lot of paint comes off and  goes on.  And I guess I'm just hoping to pass in on and on.

The boys with their scrapers did good work, and we made a solid start on this part of the reclamation project.  I thanked them robustly, and suggested that one day they might be there with their grandchildren, telling the story of how they scraped the old paint off with their Gramma.

Overall, they felt good about their contribution.  One suggestion from Timothy though.  "Gramma, next time let's bring our water bottles and we can work longer."  It was hot, yes. But you gotta' love that work ethic!  With all that's to be done, we're going to need it!

On Saturday the parents arrive.  

More fun then.

 

Birthday Girl

Kristyn Ruth

On this happy day we celebrate all you are 

and all God continues to work in your life.

Your arrival on this planet rocked my world.

I have never been the same.

And now, watching you raise your own,

I am all the more grateful 

- if that's even possible -

to have you in my life.

May you find in equal measure,

the joy you bring to so many,

just by being you.

This mother's heart is full.

If they asked me to pick just one....

Mom

 

Zachary's Turn

Taking the chill off a coolish, post-thunderstorm, stiff-breeze kind of morning.

Zachary's here to help with some of the cottage projects. What a conscientious worker, and a great companion for his Grandad...especially those heavier jobs where Gramma just can't hack it any more.

And we were just realizing, this is the first time ever, in his 16 long years, that he's been up here on his own with just Gramma and Grandad! Doing the one-on-one thing is so much fun. He even beat me in Scrabble last night!

This whole grandparenting deal just keeps evolving and morphing and bringing new ways of being wonderful.

With All Due Respect on Canada Day

 According to the confederation of 1867, Canada is 158 years old today.

As I paddle my kayak around the island in the mornings, however, I am very aware of how much older the land actually is.  

It's the rocks, mostly, that remind me.  And also the words of the Land Acknowledgement I will read, as is the custom, at the opening service of Cognashene Community Church, this coming Sunday, (weather and God permitting).  It begins like this.

"We would like to acknowledge and to honour the land and waters that we live on, and our relationship to Indigenous peoples.  We do this because we desire to share a place that is just and equitable, and because we recognize and respect Indigenous peoples' prior and continued claims to the land, and to our share responsibility for caring for the land, water, and our relationships."

I am also reminded of how predated Canada's origins are by the copy of the bill of sale made out to Ken's Grandfather Albert Liborius Breithaupt, all written out in beautiful calligraphy, of the land on which our own cottage sits.  

And this phrase in small print, that you can't really see in the picture, that acknowledge this land was set apart for the use of the (actual words) 'Chippewa Indians of the Huron and Simcoe', and suggest the sale of this property will somehow benefit (actual words) the 'said Indians.'  And I wonder if that was actually true.

I hope so.

As I paddle I imagine others doing the same, but much longer than 158 years ago.  And I feel the need to bring all of this into my Canada Day reflections.  Feeling all Canadian even though I am a descendant of settlers from England.  Feeling humbled by that.  With all due respect.

Feeling a new sense of this, somehow, with the bitter aftertaste of recent remarks from someone calling us the '51st State,' and how violating that is, to even suggest we'd just relinquish our land like that.  

How ironic, I think, as I paddle around an island much older than 158 years.

I am sad and humbled to realize I can't go back and undo the harm.

But I am hopeful, and even defiantly proud to believe I can be part of building a vibrant future together, all of us, those who just got here 158 years ago, and those who've been here all along.

Happy Canada Day to all of us!

What's in a Name? Part 2 Correct Latin Names Revealed

Thought I'd start with two more serene pictures than yesterday's spider.

 

Both are from my ride around the island this morning.  Amazing.  

But to get back to the little name game yesterday.  The correct answers are:

Prunella vulgaris

Dolomedes

And I guess these small things amuse me because, well -- Is it just me or does it just seem more likely that a spider might be called vulgar than a flower?  Yeah.  Latin.  I know.  But still.

And if you're wondering what I'm talking about and didn't catch yesterday's post, here you go. What's in a Name?

I am on my own until tomorrow afternoon and quite enjoying this little bit of solitude.  Good for the soul.  Besides, I have quite a bit of company at the moment with blue jays, chipmunks, a humming bird, and even a red squirrel joining me for breakfast on the deck.  The morning is perfect.  Warm with only a whisper of a breeze.  

And while it is a holiday Monday for most, I will get myself going with some work that has become pressing as Ken and I work towards some goals, both ministry-related and cottage-related, for what needs getting done before the kids arrive next week.

Happy Canada Day weekend, however you are celebrating.  

What's in a Name?

Picture 1

Playing a little game here today.

Two pictures.  One is of a native flower here on Georgian Bay.

The other is of a very shy dock visitor I'm lucky to have gotten a picture of.

Picture 2

I will give three scientific Latin names.

Can you guess what name belongs to whom?

1.  Dolomedes

2.  Calibrachoas

3.  Prunella vulgaris

Without using any fancy aps or anything, can you match the name to the picture?

I'll reveal the answer tomorrow, just to make it a little more challenging.

Comment or not as you like.  This is just for fun.

Honestly, I wouldn't know the fancy names without my fancy ap thingy.  Since I discovered this feature on my phone, I've been having a great time taking pictures of various things and finding out what they are.  Very educational.  And also helpful when, in the case of spiders and also the snake from the other day, I can learn about them and whether or not they pose any actual threat of harm, other than the creep-out factor.  

In this case, the scientific names were not what I was expecting.  Which I find to be something of a life-lesson in that this seems to be a common experience in a lot of the way the world works.  And while I will keep a respectful distance from critters I find a tad creepy, I do still want to call them friends. 

Because in my life, some people who I might have at one time found intimidating or off-putting or even unsafe, have ended up being surprisingly like me in ways I couldn't have expected had I not explored the relational possibilities. Some have even become good friends.  I wonder, if we adopted this principle at an every day street level, how this might ripple out to affect the big picture geo-political level.  Maybe we'd want to drop fewer bombs.  Maybe.

Another reason for posting these two pictures more or less side by side is simple transparency.  The tendency is to post the magnificent skyscapes, or the majestic deer, or the playful otter, or the spectacularly teeny blooms on spectacularly resilient plants that grow in impossible crevasses in the rocks.  

Truth is that spiders, and snakes, and mosquitoes, and, this year particularly, ticks are part of this cottage experience too.  Also, cottage opening plumbing woes, while lessened for now, certainly are part of the deal.  But that's another story for another day.

This day, though.  This day is a beauteous day!  I was able to get out in the kayak around the island first thing this morning.  It's Sunday, and I miss worshipping with my community of faith at Highview....and we don't start things up for the season up here at Cognashene Community Church until next Sunday.  

So a different kind of worship simply out here being fully present in these perfect moments on the deck.

Happy Canada Day long weekend everyone.  With July 1st being on a Tuesday, it's less certain what days folks have 'off.'  So maybe this is a long weekend, and maybe it's not.  Either way, I wish you a meaningful, restful, peace-filled day.  

Answers to the game will be posted tomorrow.

 

 

Grace Category: "Good Thing You're So Cute"

"It's a glory to overlook an offense."

Proverbs 19:11

 I'll pre-empt this post by stating up front that I do know some folks will say I'm only reaping the results of my own foolishness.  Probably true.

Yet it's also true that our sweet interactions with the chipmunks, over many, many summers, have by far brought more joy than problems in the way these things usually balance out.  

Mostly they are polite, friendly but not aggressive, and keep me company on the deck as I work or read.  It's almost like having a pet, but you don't have to clean out the cage.  And up until now, they have left my deck decor alone. 

I mean, come on.  Just look at that sweet little face!  And their teeny bums bouncing down the stairs once they've stuffed their cheeks full of as much peanut as they can possibly, which is also so much fun to watch.  

This year we have two very young ones in the mix, notably smaller than the others, a little unsteady on their feet even, legs falling down the cracks of the deck boards.  They haven't had enough practice yet stretching out their cheek pockets to be able to put the smallest of peanuts in there, even when that's what they are specifically handed.  They try but, nope.  Oh my.  Adorableness overload.

And.

My flowers!!!

They are eating the blossoms of my rock trumpets!!!  This has not happened before, ever!  This is my one go-to blooming plant because it usually does so well out on my deck.  Very hearty, and attracts the humming birds.  I have had no problems with anyone nibbling on these any other year.  

But when we got back from our four days away, all the colour was gone.  Before we left, I had had to shoo away a chipmunk or two from snacking on the smaller buds.  So, even though I have no photographic evidence, no eye-witnesses, I'm afraid it's my sweet chipmunks, my little forest friends on the deck, the ones I pay money to buy peanuts for...those ones...they are the prime suspects here.  

Sigh.

Nobody's perfect, I guess.  Even the sweet cute ones among us.  Whom, foolishly, or forgivingly, either one, I still provide with peanuts.  

I had to bring the plants inside to see if they can be salvaged at all.  Oy!!!  Not cool.  So, yes, my fine forest friends....it's a good thing you're so cute.

What this brings to mind, in it's own odd kind of way, are the complexities of community.  

True that while I am here, I live somewhat in isolation.  Being on an island is good for that.  True that I am basically wired as an introvert, and the solitude that might drive others crazy is very much part of the charm for me.  

Still, I am very well aware of the richness of my relational life, and cherish the various and wonderful humans that populate it.  

But don't we all sort of, sometimes, often, tend to nibble on the blooms?  

The complex and irritating annoyances we sometimes inflict on each other, either out of instinct or ignorance, or sometimes on purpose.  The ways we seem to repay generosity by taking more than we're offered.  The ways we can help ourselves to what's not really ours, or steal the colour from someone's deck without realizing it, or maybe on purpose.  The ways we can behave according to how we're wired and not even realize how it's affecting anyone else.

And sure, I could stop with the peanuts and get out a spray bottle and do everything I can to discourage and frighten away all my little friends.  I could claim the deck for myself and my flowers, and how dare any encroach on my space.   Or even better, I could just stay inside.

But the deck is inviting, and lovely, and fresh, and wide open.  Lots of life - not just chipmunks come to visit - happens out there, which enriches mine.  

A needful caveat here.  Some actions between humans cause intense damage requiring severe consequences.  Sometimes people make themselves dangerous.  Even Paul, a huge proponent of grace and forgiveness in community, knew that there were times when it was right to draw lines in the sand (eg. Romans 16:17).  And even in lesser but significant moments of navigating interpersonal conflict, boundaries are important.  Difficult conversations need to be had.  Self advocacy is an essential skill. Honesty builds bridges. 

Still, in the day to day ways we can bump into one another, in the little things, even the repeated things, even the really annoying things, I wonder how much gentler and generally happier our lives might be if more times than not we just might simply shake our heads a little, give a good sigh, move the plants indoors, and say, "It's a good thing you're so cute."

And really, while I'm thinking about it, I find I'm so very glad for all the people who all the time do the same for me.

So we'll see if I can revive the rock trumpets.  I'll keep you posted.

When All of a Sudden...

I come around the point and I ambushed.

Oh my God!

A glimpse of it.

Of glory.

Your glory.

Of Heaven maybe.

Of Your will being done on earth, as it is in Heaven.

All glorious and right and as it should be.

And I sit here in the quiet as it screams across the sky.

Holy, holy, holy!

“If anyone is to love God 

and have his or her life filled with that love, 

God in his glorious reality 

must be brought before the mind 

and kept there in such a way 

that the mind takes root 

and stays fixed there."

Dallas Willard

"And all of a sudden

I am unaware of these afflictions

eclipsed by glory,

and I realize just how beautiful You are

and how great Your affections are for me."

David Crowder

"For our light and momentary afflictions

are achieving for us an eternal glory

that far outweighs them all."

2 Corinthians 4:17

A "Jing Jing" Monday Morning Blessing

Woke up a little too late to catch whatever still waters might have greeted the sunrise.  By the time I was awake it was breezy enough in our own little part of the channel to make it wiser to wait for sunset, or maybe even tomorrow morning if I was going to be okay going across the more open water.  Other more hearty kayakers might not be concerned, but I know my limits.

Never mind.  I am grateful for the breeze in these crazy heatwave days that have more or less launched us full on into summer.  A great day to do the laundry, and two loads are on the line already.  Things could be dry before lunch.  It's happened.

I am, of course, now stationed out on the deck, fully into a different kind of work week, my list long with the good tasks before me.  I am joined here by no less than four chipmunks (so far) who are quickly finding all my hidden peanuts, and coming up close to look me straight in the eye and dare me to deny them more.  Another happy distraction is a rather large turtle out sunning himself on the shoal.  My guess is his shell is a full dinner plate in diameter.  He seems to be thoroughly enjoying himself.  

It was good to be back with people and getting things done in the city last week.  It's good to be back here getting different kinds of things done now.  This is sort of "Phase Two" of our cottage season this year.  Two weeks before family time, which is its own thing altogether.  

For now, let the quiet concentration begin!

And a Monday morning blessing to begin your "work week," whatever that looks like for you.

Note the poetic repetition for the sake of emphasis, as in 'indeed," or in Thai "jing jing!"

"May the favour of the LORD our God rest on us;

establish the work of our hands --

yes, establish the work of our hands.

Psalm 90:17

Just In Time

 

"LORD, teach us to number our days

so we may apply our hearts to wisdom."

Psalm 90:12

It already feels a little too hot and the day has yet to rise to it's predicted heat potential.  

The heatwave forecast over the next few days is already upon us, as Ken and I make our way back to the Bay later this afternoon.  

First, worship with our peeps at Highview.  Oh so glad that this time back in the city can include this!

Then, home for a quick lunch, pack the coolers, and then on the road.

By tonight I'll be all settled down on the boat with my journal and a cup of iced tea.

Just in time.

This will begin a longer cottage stint, with two weeks just Ken and I and a whole lot of cottage projects to get to in around our not-yet-retired work status.  Then two weeks of family.  And after that more comings and goings, but no city visit again until the end of July.  

We're doing it.  This plan of here and there we've imagined for decades now, unfolding in this time and space in ways more or less as we hoped for, with just a few unforeseen but manageable variables thrown in to keep us suitably humble and on our toes.  

I take nothing for granted.  Especially now, right now, right here in this era of our lives where good health and strength are largely still our blessing, but reason and reality bring pause.  These days are fully embraced, absorbed wholly, appreciated deeply and intentionally.   Because we're here, now, and it's summer and we can go back and forth freely, and there are no end of good and wonderful things to do and be right now.

Just in time.

Time for this.  Time for now.

Oh Friday!

 

As anticipated, the week has been 'robust.'  

The contrast between the cottage calm of not having anywhere else to be for an extended fourteen days, and the city chaos of fitting in twelve 'appointments' in four and a half days could not be more sharply defined.  And since one of those 'appointments' was for two recommended-for-my-age-group vaccines, by yesterday I was feeling rather whooped.  In the fog and frenzy I even double booked myself and failed to communicate my absence to one of the parties, which caused some concern, and did not feel good at all.  

'All the bookings' are of my own doing, needful and productive, and largely (needles notwithstanding) highly enjoyable.  Also, I find it important to stay mindful of who I am and how I respond when things are more demanding.  It can provide insights to explore and be shaped by.

Still.  I woke up this morning glad for Friday and glad that this robust week is winding down just a bit.

Soon enough I can be back to where a state of calm focus can produce good and thoughtful work, where there can be more emphasis on input than output for a bit, and where I can focus my energies on what is important but not urgent.  

Meanwhile, a sunrise walk helps reset perspectives.  

Yes, even in the city.  

And for this I am new-mercies grateful.  

Lovely Liftings

Flashback to June 8.

Another fun thing about coming home when you've been away for your birthday, is that you get to open some special mail and feel celebrated all over again.  (And I have it on good account there's even another one waiting for me at the church!)

As well as all the lovely greetings via texts, emails and also on line -- for which I am grateful to social media for making remembering everyone's birthday so happy and simple and easy -- I actually did receive quite a few 'real' cards this year, only some of which are shown in this picture.  The others are still at the cottage where I also put them on display the day of.

Birthdays are good for this, for eating cake and being remembered and encouraged.  But I honestly believe we should be smattering love and lifted spirits and encouragement around to all kinds of people every single day.  And we have so many ways to do that now!  It's so easy.

There's a lot going on in our world right now that deeply troubles many, many souls.  In fact, I think we would all be hard pressed to find someone not worried about the economy, distressed about politics, anxious for marginalized people, wondering about the future.  Everyone in our orbits, birthday or not, could use a little lovely lifting.

Simple instructions from Paul again, this time to the church in Thessalonica (1 Thessalonians 5:11):

Encourage one another, and build each other up.

Maybe that's the way we can tell if the day was a success or not.  If we did that for at least one other person.

So thanks so much, everyone, for all the birthday greetings, and all the ways you continue to inspire me and encourage me and help me in my becomings.

Backyard Becomings and Long Haul Learnings

 

The New#2 Shed

If you have to leave the beauty of Georgian Bay, it's a very good bonus to come back to this.  

Over the past two weeks while we've been gone, our landscapers have begun the first phases of what will be a two or three season plan.  Shout out to Wildlife Gardening www.WildlifeGardening.ca. for their design, knowledge, careful listening to our ideas, and plain old grunt work in creating the unique spaces and natural look we were hoping for.

Before

Now

(To the left of the pail we will build up the grade for a ramp that will be level with our front door.)

Before

Now

(Behind the red umbrella there will be a fence to separate our yard from the neighbours'.

Can you see the massive rhubarb plant right at the bottom?)

The beginnings of the ground cover that will fill in the spaces.

A 'rain garden' is also in the plan for this year, and I can't wait to see how that not only makes best use of the downspouts and general water flow over the property, but how it adds to the overall look as well.

Also this year is the laying of patio stones to finish off the hoped for eating area, and leveling off  and expanding the driveway.

Another shout out to "Shed in a Day" who lived up to their name and had this built and ready in under two and a half hours yesterday.  Literally, there was nothing there in that space when they arrived.

Now for the fun of sorting and rearranging the contents of the old shed (which Ken and I will inherit by virtue of proximity), and storing the common tools etc. in the most convenient spaces.

Existing#1 Shed

Development of this space, into a private outdoor place to sit and relax, 

is scheduled for next season.

Can't help but consider where I was at emotionally last year at this time, particularly when it comes to the whole process of 're-nesting' that we've done over the past, well, two or three years actually.  

Last June we had just signed back on the offer and were working towards the July 18 closing date.  It was all about uprooting and leaving.  And oh, let's throw in a ruptured appendix at this point, just for fun.

This year we are settling and planting again, and breathing again.  I can hardly express how good it is to be where we are now.  How 'normal' it feels.  How, frankly, relieved I am.

Because in between there was a lot of letting go, of not knowing, and of white knuckle faith that we were doing the right thing and that we would find ourselves 'at home' again.

And here we are.

Psalm 138:8 (ESV)

The LORD will fulfill His purposes for me.

Your love, O LORD, endures forever --

do not abandon the works of Your hands.