Sunshine and Sidewalks and Being Self-Aware

It's been such a good thing to get more traction these days, with the sidewalks melting down and drying up.   While I travel for most of my walk on a city-tended trail, to get there I still need to navigate past residences with sidewalks out the front.  

Some are clearer than others during the snowiest days of the winter.  But by now, most are free of ice and snow, and I can really pick up the pace.  Except when I can't.

Every once in a while, especially as snowbanks melt, there's a patch that's wet and, if it's in the shadow of a tree or structure of some sort, it's still frozen or refrozen.  Just a thin, thin layer that looks identical to the merely damp piece of concrete I just had my foot on.

It may or may not be black in colour, but that's what we call it; black ice.

I've had to catch myself a few times this past week.  So tricky!  In an instant I could have my feet out from under me and end up on the pavement with who knows what injuries.  It happened to a friend of mine already this winter.  

And it strikes me, as I awkwardly rebalance myself and do a quick check for any wrenched muscles, that the treachery of it all is that the icy parts seems at first to be hidden in plain sight.  Well, almost.  In reality, however, what I'm seeing is that the dangerous places are found where it's just a little darker, in the shadows.

Because this is Lent, and Lent is in part a time for self reflection, I am drawn to a comparison.

It seems this may also be true of the human soul.  That things hidden pose the highest threat to love and connection, and the essential trust required for people to live together, work together, serve together.  Things hidden can be the most stubborn hurdles in personal growth.  They can topple grand endeavors, derail important adventures to manifest destinations, ruin reputations, ripping the feet right out from under us.  We land hard.  Sometimes broken.  Happens all the time.

The problem is human nature is very skilled at keeping things hidden, either by intention or simply by being blind to our own faults.  We can, if we're not careful, live a carelessly unexamined life, completely oblivious.  In the shadows the treacherous step is unseen.

The psalmist knew it.  

"Search me, God, and know my heart;

test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting."

Psalm 139:23-24

The prophet knew it.

"Let us examine our ways and test them,

 and turn back to the Lord." 

Lamentations 3:40

Even the philosopher agreed.

"The unexamined life is not worth living."

Socrates

So what to do?

Privately, it doesn't hurt to spend a moment at the end of the day to sit quietly and ask God to do that search the psalmist was talking about.  Ignatian Spirituality might show us the way here.

Publicly, it doesn't hurt to gather an 'us' about us, a community, a small council of trusted friends, to speak into our lives and 'test' our ways, like the prophet talked about.  Here the Quaker tradition of a Clearness Committee might be helpful.

Because in the end, what we want is to live a life worth living, don't we?  Like Socrates says?  And simply for a little extra reading I leave this here.

[Note:  Links are just for more information purposes only, and do not necessarily constitute an endorsement of the authors or content.  Just sayin'.]

Our secrets hurt those around us, most often and most deeply the ones we love.  And most of us don't wake up one day and decide to do that.  We don't.  

So here's to longer days and more confident strides when we're out walking.  

Here's to warmer temperatures of the season and of the soul.  

Here's to searching and examining and letting that be part of a journey that takes us more and more towards bright and beautiful ways to be.

Still Waters

 

With a fresh dusting of snow this morning, I find myself looking back and forward to warmer times in the kayak.

We were visited by so many deer last summer!  And this gentle creature stood long enough for me to capture an almost perfect reflection.

"He leads me beside still waters.  

He restores my soul."

Psalm 23:2-3

And that's all for this first of March morning.

Blessings and strength, everyone.

Moving Ahead Together

I am soaking up the sun on my walk today, and also randomly remembering a quote about leadership.

"If you think you're leading, but when you turn around and no one is following you, you're just out for a walk."  

(Not sure where it comes from, or I would cite it, and if anyone wants to let me know, I'd be glad).

Of course today I am actually just out for a walk.  But also, these days, whatever leadership role I do embody is vastly different than it once was when I served as a pastor of a local church.  Still a lot at stake, for sure, and still requiring all that good transparency and integrity, but much smaller in scope, far less demanding, far more focused.

It's a heavy mantle, the memory of which prompts many prayers for those in varying arena of my life who carry it.  Today, as I walk and remember the weight, I am especially grateful for those who lead my community of faith, Highview Community Church.

Particularly, I feel glad for our leadership culture, that being one of consensus and plurality of leadership, a strong influence from our Brethren background (a reference to the beginnings of Highview's story, if you know it).  

A quick definition:

"Consensus leadership is a collaborative management style that emphasizes collective decision-making and inclusivity, aiming to involve all stakeholders in the decision making process."  (Google, Gemini, 2026)

It's a slower way of moving forward together, but it's worth it because we have a better chance of moving forward together.  Collaboration, collective decision-making, inclusivity, all stakeholders.  It takes wisdom, nuance, and the setting aside of person agendas and dominating egos.  It requires layered listening, and broadened thinking, and deeper feelings.

No leadership structure is perfect because, oh let me see, every approach requires people to be involved, and, oh let me see, people aren't perfect.  Even when all are committed to practicing consensus, it's easy sometimes to forget, especially when things get dicey and the urge to take matters into our own hands or press an agenda is strong, if for no other reason than to relieve the tensions.  Even the most others-centered of us can quickly fall into the trap of me-focused tunnel vision.

In my own experience, I have been so grateful for the wisdom of the collective voices around the table when my own perspective has been too narrow, or my understanding of the situation has been more fear-driven than Spirit-led.  

So lead on!  And thank you, all who carry this.  Thank you for moving us ahead together.

And just to reminder you: You are prayed for.  

So Far So Lent

I have been thinking a lot lately about how this particular season of Lent has lined up in a unique way for me with a space of time with nothing 'big' to plan for, and nothing 'big' to be in the midst of.  

Unlike the past five months, almost non-stop, when I was indeed planning AND/OR in the midst of all the big things, smack bang all in a row, from now until Easter the list is back to a reasonable length, and the weekly demands have diminished somewhat.  A good deal, actually.

In making space for some intentional listening, I felt I was being directed to give up "productivity" for Lent.

It's a bid odd, I agree.  Rather abstract, unlike chocolate, or coffee, or even social media.  It's not even an abstinence from work entirely, as there still are many important irons in the fire that do indeed require my attention.  So what does it mean, exactly?

I'm not sure yet.

But any sense of 'git er done' is, I think, out of bounds right now.  No pushing.  No pressing.  No striving to accomplish as much as possible in the time allotted, as is my usual default setting.  Such could easily be my god, truth be told.  And I pause to just be somber in that thought.

Giving up productivity for Lent.  I am figuring it out.  I mean, what does working but not pressing toward intense productivity look like?

So far, it looks like....

• An intentionally shorter list for each of the next six weeks.
• Stopping first thing in the morning to take in a 6 minute video by N.T. Wright, part of his "People of Promise: Lent Series."
• Prioritizing shoveling the snow over getting down to work as an act of worship this morning while Ken was still sleeping off a fever.
• Allowing wider spaces for conversations.
• Making reading a real thing and not just a treat thing.
• Ending the work day when I still have energy for 'one more thing.'
• Heading out for a walk at the end of the day instead of trying to cram in that 'one more thing.'
• "Booking" a nap near to the end of the week, and holding myself responsible to it.
• Refraining from listing 'all the things I've done today' posts on social media.  (Hope this isn't one of them.)

So far.

Spiritual formation is hard work, I find.  I keep cycling back to my basic issues, unlearning and relearning and peeling back the layers.  I'm not entirely sure where all this will take me this time out.  Just following a lead and seeing what comes.

Happy Thursday, however it unfolds for you.

And if you are observing a Lenten practice, may it take you deeper into where you're going.

Bran Muffins and Listening to Lent

 

With a crazy busy weekend ahead of me, it's good to stop for a moment at the beginning of this Friday, and just eat my bran muffin.

Later we'll venture out a bit, to run a few errands, and also to stop in at the church for some day-before-a-big-event tasks.  

The big event is, of course, Highview's Haiti Dinner and Silent Auction raising funds for our dear Seniors who live at a place called Auberge des Vieillards (Resort for the Elderly) in Pignon, Haiti.

Plus on Sunday we'll be sharing a report on all things Haiti in the morning at Highview.  So exciting to know that good and beautiful things are happening in surprising ways in surprising places.  

AND I am definitely booked for a nap Sunday afternoon.  And pacing myself today, like I've been trying to do all week.

Next week begins a different kind of space for me, I think.  A span of time where all the big things are done for a bit, and I can focus on ... well, I'm waiting to see exactly what I will be led to focus on.  While there are important matters to tend to, projects to move forward on, promises to keep, due dates to keep in mind -- always will be no doubt -- I am feeling a nudge to pull in a little....and listen to Lent.

For health reasons, I have had to pay extra attention to different ways I need to be nourishing my body of late.  Hence the bran muffin.  And now, I am thinking, I'm wondering, what I am being encouraged to do differently in the nourishment of my soul.

"When I discovered Your words, I devoured them.  

They are my joy and my heart's delight."

Jeremiah 15:16

Push and Pull

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts,

since as members of one body you were called to peace.

And be thankful.

Colossians 3:15

Since Monday was a holiday, today feels like the fresh start of the week.  And looking ahead at this week's list and then beyond, I realize that this will be the last push in what has felt like a steady-with-varying-degrees-of-intensity five month stretch.  

It surprised me, just yesterday when I noticed it while Ken and I did a 'calendar meeting.'  An honest assessment of my schedule would reveal that it has been pretty much non-stop from one thing to another since we closed the cottage at the end of September and stepped back into what I call our 'city life.'  Even with work-rest balances in place, and given the fact that I truly do press into work with joy, it's just been a reality that I have been in the thick of things pretty much consistently for quite some time.

After this week I have no trips to prepare for, no big seasonal expectations in either my ministry or personal life, no sermons on tap this spring, no major fundraising or other events on the calendar as yet.  Even with what is on the calendar, and there are some happy things I'm looking forward to for sure, most of the prep work is well in hand, and, well, it just won't require the same number of meetings, or the same kind of mental focus.  Not for the next little while at least.  Between now and Easter, more or less.  Hmmm....

Should I post such a thing?  Freer schedules have the habit of inviting random invitations as to how to fill up the space.  I will resist.  Mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually....I must.  In these quiet moments before this 'last week of push' begins, I am sensing a 'pull' towards peaceful protection.  Towards something important and bigger, but not louder.

Paul makes a plea to the Colossian Church to let our hearts be 'ruled by the peace of Christ.'  Because we are not called to press and push and produce, but to peace.  And to be thankful.

Lent is upon us.  Starts tomorrow.  I didn't plan it this way.  But perhaps...?

And in this moment, a hush.  And a quiet curiosity to see where this might take me.

Family Day Feels

 

I'll just say to begin, that I have long thought we needed a stat holiday between Christmas and Easter to help break up the winter.  Well, in Ontario (and also BC, Alberta, Saskatchewan and New Brunswick at least), here we are!  And how great is it that things have turned a little milder so that we might dare to venture outside for a bit.

But beyond the seasonal pick me up a holiday Monday affords, what a great idea to have a day set aside to celebrate Family.

There's a caveat, of course.  "Family" can be defined in so many ways, which I think is good and proper.  For some, families of origin hold things that often we do not care to celebrate, but rather have had to overcome.  For others, a sense of blood/DNA connection is lacking due to a wide variety of circumstances, some for which we are responsible, and some for which we are not.

We humans, being the creatures that we are, often find ourselves at odds somehow with our deepest desires to be heard, known and loved in a place of safety and unconditional positive regard.  Relationships are complicated, and, well, it's just hard to get along sometimes.  Unfortunately, some 'differences' end up being alienating, or even of the toxic sort requiring decisive measures if we are to survive.

So yes, "Family" can conjure up less that all the warm feelings we might hope it would.

And.

I have observed in my own life, and in the lives of many I have had the joy to journey with, that we are often gifted with community in ways that become 'Family' far beyond what life might otherwise have tried to rob us of.  It's as if a God of redemptive arch stories knows that we do indeed need to be heard, known and loved, and also to hear, know and love the other.

Psalm 68:6 has this uplifting phrase, "God sets the lonely in families."

Love that.

And so, on this Family Day 2026, that's both the testimony I bear for my own complex and family-rich story, and also my hope for all of you.  And however else you may be marking this mid-winter stat holiday, I trust you will be able to fully embrace, reach out, be welcomed into all that is Family for you.