I admit to a certain addictive fascination to my current studies in the Hebrew language. The decoding of construct chains and perfect strong verb paradigms bends my brain in new, albeit agonizing ways, stimulating (I hope) new synaptic pathways that will help me know my Bible better. That's the idea anyways. It's the whole point of pursuing these seminary academics - to understand more of the story of God.
I was feeding my addiction at the dinner table on Saturday morning. Grandkids were playing happily in the chaos on the floor around my feet, while I laboured over the translation of a passage from Exodus 1. It's slow work. Strange markings. Complicated grammar structures. Any given text only comes clear after tedious effort with lots of trial and error along the way.
Leaving her farm animals, Abby climbed onto my lap to see what I was doing.
"And a new king will rise up over Egypt who will not know Joseph, and he will say to his people...." I read aloud the part I had worked through so far, and stopped, squinting. Was that a vav consecutive? Abby sat quietly, looking at the scribbles, both Hebrew and English, sprawled on the page in front of us, expecting me to keep on reading out loud. When there was too long of a pause, she said, "I'm waiting for the story, Gramma. What comes next?"
"I don't know yet, Honey. I'm trying to figure that out."
Reading God's story is like that, I guess. Not just the written Hebrew words. Not just the words in my English Bible either. Although careful translation and diligent study do give us an understanding of the whole big story God has written down for us. And like I said, that's why I'm studying.
But it's the honest doing of it that writes another story. My story. God's story for me. And to be honest, at various points along the way, and especially right now, I don't understand that story very well either. It seems at times to be composed of strange markings with complicated structures and foggy interpretations. I labour to make meaning of the events and interactions that make up various "sentences" of the story, squinting to try to piece together anything that sounds like something I might understand, anything that might make sense.
We have been told in class, over and over, that this Hebrew thing will happen for us if we're patient, diligent and consistent to work at it a little bit every day. And it's true. Remarkably, I find I'm actually getting it. I can actually read simple Hebrew sentences by now. And eventually I was able to finish the sentence Abby was asking about.
So I guess if I'm not "fluent" in the story God is still writing for me, especially in the middle of the complicated parts, I shouldn't be surprised. It's still being written, only coming clear a little bit every day. I can wait for the story with God, my Author, patiently, diligently, and consistently, and only in the little bit He gives me for this day.
One day my story will be complete. I will read all the words of it and it make sense enough to me. Then I will speak it fluently. And I will rest in it fully.
