Making Good Use of the Jet Lag

With a sleeping/eating schedule all out of wonk, I figure I might as well use this bit of time at 4 a.m. when I'm wide awake, to gather some more thoughts as I continue to process and ponder. The truth of it is, God has provided just so much in terms of big and little moments while I was in Thailand, and even though I know I will never capture them all into words, I'd like to try to share with you as much as I can. It's all part of Year Two of Highview's Two Year Plan, that we STRENGTHEN our connections with the people in SE Asia (and Haiti too, but that's for another blog :) And since God's seems to have used this October trip to get us off to such a phenomenal start with strengthening our connections at Hot Springs, it seems prudent for me to open up that particular GANGWAY as wide as I can with my stories.

Let's go back to Hot Springs for a minute (how I wish I really could), to the afternoon when the children were writing their letters to their sponsors.

First, in the whole language "barrier" thing, I have to say that it really wasn't. Not between me and Suradet and Yupa, not between me and kids. There was such a commitment on everyone's part to be friends, that we all went over and above to try to understand and be understood. In fact, it might be said that if the same kind of commitment was made in all my relationships, there'd be way better communications all around. It seems to me now, back in an English-speaking world, that it was the attitudes and not the words that made the communications possible. That's something I'll have to think about some more.

So, somehow I communicate to Yupa that the sponsors would love to have a picture and/or letter from their individual children. I have my Thai/English dictionary, and I'm acting things out, but the request is greatly helped by the fact that there's really no Thai word for sponsor, they just use the English word, elongating the last syllable. So it sounds like "sponSORE".

Yupa's face lights up with understanding, and then she informs the children. There's no hesitation. They scatter for a minute and then they're all back with paper and pencils and markers (which they could use more of, by the way), each taking a spot at the table and setting to work.

This was no quick, barest minimum effort. This was an afternoon event. I never once had to remind any child who their sponsors were. They have your pictures and names in special places. They are keen to print things off in English whenever possible. The love colour, most of them and added as much as they could to their creations.

They talk a lot while they are working, enjoying the hot afternoon under the shelter, showing each other what they've done so far. When it gets to writing things down, several of them start running over asking me how to write certain things in English. Again, I am not even sure, trying to remember, how much they are saying in Thai that I now understand, and how much they are saying in English. I did find it helpful that I had learned at least a basic understanding of the Thai script because sometimes they would write simple words in Thai and I knew what sounds they were trying to express and could translate into English. Conversely, the studies they have been doing in English also proved helpful, not just that afternoon, but throughout the entire time I was with them.

As is normal among children, some are more creative and artsy than others. But, Sponsors, just know this. Every single letter/picture was given focused attention and effort that afternoon. You have a very significant role in their lives, and even though not everyone could be there with me this October, or may be able to come on future trips, the reality of your presence and the role you play in their lives is HUGE to them. You are very real people to them. There is an understanding that your compassion is directly connected to their survival, and they do not take this lightly.

I believe that understanding extends to our church as a whole, actually. Highview's interest in Hot Springs is clearly understood as a means by which God has and is answering the prayers of people facing great needs with few resources. Two years ago, Suradet and Yupa were fasting and praying in earnest for God's provision. Two years ago, we were fasting and praying, asking God to show us where in the world He would have us go. Our God is a very big God to have brought us together. Sitting there that afternoon, watching the Hot Springs children writing their letters, being right there in the midst of them, I was again in awe of how intimately, how beautifully God has answered our prayers.

The afternoon of letter writing was relaxed and easy with the kids. In fact, it was probably the moment when the boys especially, warmed up to me. As you can see by some of the crazy hamming it up in the pictures.

While every child took great pains to create something special for their sponSORE, I just have to mention three in particular.

Bao (Tawepon) is the baby, daughter of Suradet and Yupa. Two, going on three, she has remarkable concentration. Using leftover paint from one of the crafts I'd brought, she stayed focused and fascinated, making her painting. I have her on video doing this and will make sure we all get to see that. What a sweetie.

Sai (Pakamat) is the youngest girl other than Bao, and also spent the afternoon in a very seriously concentrated manner. Normally, she was not so concentrated, in a typical 9 year old girl kind of way. But the time and work she put into her letter seemed to reflect the depth of her thanks for someone to sponsor her.

Fruk (Yingjareun) is the youngest of the boys. He was so much fun to work with. He'd run over to me, asking how to spell a word, and then run back to spell it. And then two seconds later, he was back asking about another word. He wanted to get this just right.

I didn't get a chance to see all of what the children created. Some came with their envelopes already sealed. But I did get a picture of each one holding the evelope, and I'll print that off and put that in with a little "packet" for each sponsor, hopefully by the end of next week.

It all depends on the jet lag.

If you've experienced it, you know what I mean. It's as if your body doesn't know where you are, here or still where you've been. Resting and taking it easy is the only "cure". I'm not one to put up with sitting still for very long. But I have to confess, my body is whining at me still, and I've been told to listen to it. So, I guess I'd better.

But I find, as I did coming home last February, it's not just my body that's "jet lagged". My heart doesn't know where it is either. I'm keen to get back into a groove and move ahead with all of the enormously exciting and meaningful, happy occupations God has for me here. Highview, my family, my friends, all come with the wonderful complexities of life and ministry, making for a rich abundant life, as promised.

But something of me remains in the humid foothills of the Himalayas in a place called Hot Springs with 15 children and their amazing parents. Part of my heart won't let go of the longing to be with them. What a gift it has been to be with them.

Home

I think God is hilarious that He would have me come home to snow! After sweating it out in the Thai humidity for the past two weeks, it's quite the weather-shock to arrive to temperatures hovering around freezing and enough of the stuff on the ground to look like winter.

But I'm home. My flights were smooth and effortless. Thank you so much for all your prayers. I made every connection in good and time - get this - every single flight I sat beside an empty seat! That's just SO much more comfortable! Felt like a going home gift from God.

There's an aching though, and it's not my backside, (although there's that too).
The good bye at the airport yesterday afternoon was way harder than I thought it would be. I kept it together. Didn't want to upset the kids, Miki especially who was crying already when I left Hot Springs on Sunday. It wasn't until I was on the plane rolling down the tarmac that it hit me, and it was really big.

Our kids, Suradet and Yupa, Thailand itself, all God is doing there and all He's allowing us to be a part of, it's real and it's profound and it's happening for me in deeper places of my soul now, since I've been here. And it's hard, so hard, to say good bye. My heart hurts.
I'll write some more once my head stops spinning. I'm going to take today to sleep some and unpack some and just take it easy. I can't wait to see you all, but I hope I don't monopolize every conversation now for the rest of....my life! There are so many stories! Perhaps we need a signal. Since I am significantly "riced out" to use Dave Driver's term, maybe that's all you need to say. If I'm talking too much about Hot Springs kids or about Thailand or about my experiences in the next few weeks, all you have to say is, "Ruth Anne, I'm just a bit "riced out" right now." I'll get it. I don't think I could look another grain of rice in the eye right now. In fact, I think I will pledge to show my devotion to Christ by fasting from rice from now until then next time I'm in Thailand. That would be just fine.

Again, thank you, thank you thank you for all you've done to help me get there and stay sane while I'm there, supporting me and praying for me, and sending me your comments and e-mails. It all made for a wonderful, amazing, God-filling time.

See you soon.

Ruth Anne

One Last Post From Thailand

Yesterday was computer day. Mike, Debbie and I picked up the computer from the store and drove it out to Hot Springs before lunch. It would take a bit to set it up, so we went out for lunch at a little roadside restaurant nearby, sort of my final treat to Suradet and Yupa before I left. Big news about that lunch is that I actually tried some frog soup. Debbie was kind enough to fish out an entire leg to put in my bowl. I didn't get up the nerve to actually eat it (the curled up toes were just a tad much), but I did take a sip, and I have the photos and witnesses to prove it.

Following lunch we went back to Hot Springs and began the tediously exciting process of plugging everything in. It's amazing how fascinating unpacking boxes of computer equipment is to orphans. They sat and watched as if it was a first class perfomance.

The older kids were at school, so it was actually kind of nice just to be able to focus on the younger ones, especially the girls, who feel completely comfortable with me by now. Yupa was curious about one box, asking in Thai what this was. I showed her the picture, it was the printer scanner, and she started to cry. She didn't know that was coming with the deal. All of this will make her life so much easier in terms of helping the children with their school work, and what the church needs as well. This is a huge deal to them, and they couldn't express their gratitude enough.

"Please tell your members church how much we thank." I promised I would.


There was only one little glitch, unfortunately. The set up was all in English. Word was put to Thai script, and of course there's a Thai keyboard, but the initial Window's disply was still in English. Sadly we had to pack up the cpu to take it back to get that switched over. But it was all taken in stride.

While this was all going on, Miki, arms around my waist, says, in English, "Tomorrow." And then she draws a line down her cheek and makes crying noises. Yes, Miki, tomorrow I'll be crying too.

They're coming to the airport to send me off. Hope I can stand it.

How is it I want to stay and want to go home all at the same time? How can I possibly leave them? I ask it again. What have I done to my heart?

"Lord, just as I entrusted this time to You, right from the get go and all the way through, I now give over any and all of what is to come because I've engaged so deeply here. Whatever it feels like, however it goes down, whatever long term effects linger in my soul, would You take it all and turn it all into something that You can use however You see fit. With the same reckless abandon which I threw open my heart to come here, I now release my psyche and my soul into Your crucible of transformation. Take my life and let it be all Yours. Take this experience, these days and weeks, these moments, all of it, and do whatever You choose, for the kingdom, for Highview, in my heart.

I will never be the same because of this."

Time to come home. Can't wait to see you all. The adventure is only beginning.


Miki (Warichat)

Longings

As a child I didn't deal with disappointment very well. I guess that's pretty normal, but it seems to me that a chronic sense of being "hard done by" followed me into my teen years and adult life. It might have been due to a misguided parental belief that to give a child something they really, really wanted was to spoil them. I'm not sure. But it did lead me to develop an emotional habit of not hoping for things, not longing for things. What was the point? It wasn't going to happen anyways.

Throughout my spiritual journey, God has sought to gently rebuke and re-parent me on this. The rebuke is against the pity party, and the re-parenting is toward understanding my Heavenly Father as lavish and loving and eager to grant me the desires of my heart. Over and over again, He has given me over the top gifts that come in wild and wonderful ways to my soul.

In no small way, this time in Thailand has been one of those gifts. The longing to return, the deep ache to come back and spend time with our Hot Springs kids....that has been fulfilled and filled up more than I was able to think or imagine.

It hit me hardest when I first arrived.

We'd been at the zoo all day [I'll have to send pictures of the zoo later when Suradet can send me his copies. Mine got deleted, but that's another entire story] so we were all pretty hot and tired. I rode home in the truck with the kids and Suradet and Yupa, about 8 of us inside and 7 in the back with all my bags. As is normal whenever I'm driving anywhere in Thailand, my eyes were wide open taking in all the scenes zipping by. There's so much that is so strange. Huts on stilts. Women selling garlands at the intersections. Seven people on a moto. Water buffalo sneaking onto the road.

I was looking for some familiar landmarks to let me know when we were getting close. But when we'd been there before it was night time. So by the time we turned into the driveway, it took me by surprise.

The first sight of the church building was like a grab to the heart. That's it! I've been here! This is what I've been looking at in pictures for 8 months, wishing, praying, asking if I could come back! But we didn't park out front. Instead we lumbered up the steep hill behind the church to stop in front of the "mission centre" where I'd be staying.

And then we got out. And I stood on the red earth and looked out over the Hot Springs "compound" and realized...barely able to breathe....I'm here. This longing....He's granted me a deep, deep desire of my heart.

And then I lost it.

I didn't want to do that. I thought it might scare the kids, crying like that. I was very sure I couldn't explain myself. Quick, what's the Thai for "It's okay, I'm just happy!" But I didn't need to say anything.

It was Tor (Yaowana) who made the first move. She just came up and put her arms around me and hugged me and started making little quick "sh,sh,sh,sh" noises. The other girls followed and very soon I was surrounded by a pack of little sticky wonderful bodies and thin brown arms, telling me with little comforting noises that it was all going to be okay.

I pulled it together a bit, mostly because I so badly needed a kleenex that the beauty of the group hug was soon going to not be quite so beautiful. We unloaded my bags and brought them into the room where I was staying.

Clean floors, my own bathroom, a decent mattress. I took it all in quickly, but a more pressing matter was at hand. The SPONSORS PACKETS!!!!!

Do you know how eager they are for your love from home? Picture 15 sets of brown eyes completely focused on the opening of one large suitcase. Try to feel the electricity of 15 children who have so little, holding back as best they can, in order to be polite, while I hand them out one at a time.

Hear their happy sounds as they open the envelopes, look inside, and show each other the pictures. And....this is unusual for us, I'm afraid....right away, with no coaxing, they are instinctively equalizing the candy component of the packages. Everyone shares everything that was edible in the packages we sent. I don't know how they do it, but they do. It's just what you do when the Sponsors send the packages. The books, the letter, the other gifts, they're yours. But anything there is to eat is common ground.

I am trying to get all this on tape to bring it all back to you, especially the sponsors. The happy noises, the fun of "Christmas morning" in the middle of a very hot day in October.

After the children leave to take their new treasures back to their bunks, it's just Yupa and me.

I so badly want to tell her how glad I am to be here. I so badly want to tell her that I admire what she is doing to mother these children. I so badly want to say about a million things. But I can't. She can't. I try...in English...so she can hear my tone, see my gestures. A hug seems best. And that's when we're both crying. She's saying, in English, "Than Yoooooo, than yooooooo, than yoooooo" over and over again. But I'm saying, No...You have no idea what this is giving ME!"

And when we're sort of done all that hugging and crying and saying thank you badly in each other's language, we get down on the floor, quite literally on our knees, and pray. She prays in Thai, I pray in English. And it does not matter that we can't understand what the other is saying. God hears us both. God is standing over us both.

He is mighty in the midst of us. He is rejoicing over us with singing. He is quieting us with His love. And He is delighted to be lavishing upon us, Yupa and me, the desires of our hearts.

There are many ways that going far away makes God seem so much bigger. Receiving so much from Him, even in just my first hour at Hot Springs, was just another way for my heart to know that in the care of such an enormous God, deepest longings can be met beyond imagining.

Before and After

For me it's getting late, but I just wanted to put something together quickly to try to give you a sense for how Highview's connection with Hot Springs has made a difference.

For those on last year's Team and anyone who's seen the pictures already, you'll remember the sparseness of both the children's bedrooms and the kitchen, as captured by the cameras the night we visited there in February. It was probably what hit home the hardest, to realize that children actually lived in these bare bones rooms.

Being there this week was a golden opportunity to see how things have improved now that Highview is partnering with Suradet and Yupa for the care and well-being of these children. Much of what is "better" is actually intangible. It's the spark in the eyes and the increased laughter and the sense of everyone there being just that much more relaxed. Just the mere fact that a sponsor church had been found immediately lifted a great weight off the shoulders of Suradet and Yupa, and in turn, made for a less stressful emotional environment for the kids.

But the tangibles are there too. I am including just a few pictures to show the difference. At the top is the girls bedroom and next is the boys. You can't believe the difference the floors and bunks have made. There are some next steps still needed, and I'll be talking more about that in the next little bit as we prepare for our upcoming trips in the spring. However, be encouraged. What you are doing is truly making a difference in the lives of 15 amazing children who live in the foothills of the Himilayas in Thailand.


All meals, rain or shine, night or day, are eaten outside in this dining area. This also provides a place for the kids to play games or just hang out around the fire that constantly smolders at the far end. This entire structure includes the new kitchen that was completed early last spring.

As I wind down my last days in Thailand, there is much to process and so much I want to tell you and show you. This tired blog hardly does justice to the enormity of what I've just been allowed to see, feel, hear, smell and touch. And it certainly does nothing to express the depth of what's touched my soul. Thank you all for praying, and for supporting me in going.

I'm on my way home Tuesday at noon, midnight Monday night for most of you. Tomorrow we pick up the computer for Suradet and do just some last minute shopping for other things I'd like to bring home for the Christmas baazar to raise funds for the next projects.

More later.

Dangerous Orphans

It's dark and it's early and it's time to get up. Sunday morning's devotion time is a half hour earlier than every other day, which means we stumble up the steep stairs, some of the younger ones still in pyjamas, to begin the day at 5:30 a.m. It's okay, the rooster has already been helping to get us out of bed since about 4 a.m., a kindness he offers every day.

My first thoughts this day do not centre around the hour, however. This is my last day at Hot Springs and I don't want to deal with that. I lie on my mattress wondering why on earth I would do such a wretched thing to my heart. What sane person would come to spend time with these sensational children, knowing full well the time would have to come to an end and there'd be a goodbye. Why didn't I think about the goodbye?

It's been a holy experience this week. I have seen the face of God in ways I haven't ever experienced before; His gentleness and grace and wreckless abandonment to embrace. Each child is a pricelss gift. Every personality, every skill set, every temperament...each one a gift from God to this planet that I have somehow been granted the honour of being in the presence of 24/7 for the past five days.

More stories will come. More pictures are on the way. I have so much to bring back to all of you, and some very specific reports and pictures and letters and gifts for the sponsors. And I'll get to all that as soon as possible.

For now, let's just say that I'm back in Chiang Mai more wrecked than before I left, but deeply, deeply grateful for the dangerous opportunity to let these children do what they've done to my heart. Nobody told me orphans could be so dangerous.

Ruth Anne

Insert Photo Here

Now that I figured out how to download the pictures, lets see what I can do to show you some of what's been going on.

First, I've retrofitted past blogs to insert pictures of what I've been talking about. Take a look.

Above is the maker of the famous beaded bracelet. Birdie is in the middle in the red top. One of our Hot Springs kids, Sai, is with us. Yeah, I know, I'm looking a bit pekid. I actually didn't feel good all that day, but after I figured out the shower thing, I felt..and looked...much better. Just for curiosity sake, around my neck is a special scarf that repells mosquitos. Seemed to work. No bites.

My new friend, Debbie Flinchum. This is one gifted and godly woman who serves God's orphans in ways you and I will never fully appreciate. She is "Mom" to so many kids, and it's obvious how much they love her. I love her Virginian accent and fear I may come home with a bit of a twang myself! This lady is honest and completely others-focused in the midst of ministry challenges that boggle the mind. I love watching her in action and have deeply appreciated the hospitality of both Debbie and her husband Mike.

Below is the gathering at Doi Saket for church service Sunday morning, October 19th. The Team from the February 2008 visit will recognize the paint job :). Notice the kids are wearing their tribal clothes. Every special occasion, Sundays included, is a reason to dress in your tribal best.

To the right is Tutu with the youngest member of Doi Saket I, baby Joshua, two months old. I would have held him but Tutu doesn't give him up easily. Baby hog.

Below is the camp kitchen at Wiang Pa Pao and one of the Bible School students who not only used his culinary skills to serve us, but was part of the worship band as well. I have a feeling he's grinding up that dark green paste that - WOW! - you only need a little bit of!!!!!!!!














I woke up WAY too early this morning. Feels like the "do or die" moment of the trip. Today I will meet all of our Hot Springs children at the Chiang Mai Zoo for an "outing". I am certain to learn the Thai words for all the animals, and I hope there's a place to buy ICE CREEEEM! That's not the do or die part though.

It's later when I will get in the truck and go with our kids to where they live. Funny. It's all I have been able to think of since leaving last February. Go and live with the kids. Right with them. Understand their lives, eat their food, learn their culture. Now, here it is, the moment I get to do that, and I'm a little bit nervous. How am I going to spend five days without being able to communicate easily? Especially when there's so much in my heart to tell them?

So....I guess I'm about to find out. I have so appreciated your prayers. Please don't stop. The working of the Spirit in my own heart, and seeing Him work here in ways totally different from our own context at home....it's all been so moving, so humbling, so astonishing. I don't want to miss a thing, but I don't want to rush it either. I am very grateful for a different kind of pacing this time here. There seems to be more opportunity for quiet moments to process and listen and I am grateful.

So these next five days, I will need your prayers more than ever. I will do my best to do the black berry thing. And I'll take more pictures and videos. But mostly, I will ask God to help me capture as much as I can in the deeper places of my soul, asking Him to insert His "photos" into the story He's writing between Highview and Hot Springs. That's really what I want to bring home to you.

Okay (deep breath).....Here I go!

Wiang Pa Pao Unplugged

I am back in Chiang Mai after about 48 hours at a retreat for all the children 4th grade and up, held at the "farm" Asia's Hope has in a place called Wiang Pa Pao. Our February 2008 Team will remember it well. It was where we went with Sherrod to do the outreach clinic, spending a quiet, mystical afternoon in the Thai countryside, caring for the sick who came from the village there.

This time, however, the scene was completely different! A full band and all the equipment were set up outside under a tent. Sixty seven children and probably about 25 adults, Staff and visitors like me, invaded the property for worship, skits, various speakers (of which I participated twice), and a hilarious re-enactment of the Good Samaritan (the theme of the retreat) by Asia's Hope Staff.

Our kids from Hot Springs were there. So it was a perfect time to get to know them a little bit, and break the ice before I invaded their space. Having a little notebook always nearby is really helpful because you can draw pictures, write down words in Thai or English, which they can do,


and then, when the conversation comes to any sort of lag whatsoever, you can just hand them the book and your pen and ask them to draw you a picture. They love it!

This is all about the girls so far. I'm still trying to find my "in" with the boys. The youngest is Yingjareun, who's nickname is "Fruk" - said with a long u sound which helps a little, if you catch my drift. He was wearing one of our Discovery Day Camp hats we'd sent last May (with Tutu) and when I saw it, I made a great big deal of it. He laughed. He's really, really cute! And if it he wasn't already cute enough, he has just the slightest of lisps. Sort of like a very young Ron Howard in The Music Man trying to sing "Oh ho the Welth Fargo Wagon ith a-comin' down the sthreet...." (You broadway musical fans will know what I'm talking about.) Only in Thai, of course.

A very cool "I am in a very far away place moment" this afternoon was at the dedication service for the house Asia's Hope has built for the couple who manage the Wiang Pa Pao farm. While it was happening, one of the boys pulls out this bug. Okay, this is THE biggest bug I have ever seen up close and personal in my LIFE!


Anyways, they were playing with it like it was a hamster! I was very kindly offered a turn to let it me my "little friend", but I said no thanks. I'm not sure if my picture is good enough, but if someone wants to do a bit of research and look this up, let me know what kind of bug that was! (None of this is meant to discourage any potential Team members for our next trip, by the way :)

Besides the wild bug moments, there are many, many God-moments in all of this, too. In fact, to try and sort them out and even decide which ones I want to write about is almost impossible. For one thing, I'm trying to let them sit in my soul for a bit, wanting them to brew like a good cup of tea, listening as best I can for the flavour God will release.

For now, let me just say that I'm fairly convinced that to stand under a tent in the Thai countryside, before a group of 67 Asian children, with their caregivers, while they out loud and all at once pray blessings and thanksgivings over you.....Man! That's about as close to hearing the sounds of heaven as you can get.

So, what's next? Tonight I am living in luxury again, compared to the Thailand camping experience. (I showered with a snail this morning. He was really big and fat and stuck to the wall just above my head. Hey....at least there WAS a shower, Roger!) I am doing some laundry and repacking to head to Hot Springs tomorrow. I will stay there until Sunday, so...once again...I am not sure how the internet connections will go. I will do my best.

However, this time, I promise to actually bring my blackberry. (sheepish grin) Forgot to take it to the retreat. But then again, it wasn't a bad thing to be unplugged from everything for just a little bit. Doesn't mean I wasn't thinking of you though. Getting back on line was the first thing I did when I got up to my room, for sure. Thank you all so much for posting your comments and sending the e-mails. I love and need to hear from you.

We're going out for supper tonight at a place where apparently you can order lasagna and stuff. Sounds good to me. I can only eat so much rice!

Under the Tree

At this point in my time in Thailand I'm experiencing that strange sense of loss of time differentiation. Have I been here for days? Or have I always lived here? Kind of feels like both. Probably because the past two days have been so full of life experiences, it SHOULD take months to have done it all. Yet it's still all so strange and new.
Yesterday's experiences were mostly all about the Dedication Service at Doi Saket, for the Education Centre there. By the way. It was a Canadian couple that made the donation, asking that, in lieu of wedding presents, people made a donation to Asia's Hope. How cool is that. The Centre is already in use, but still needs some final "setting up to do." It provided the large and wonderful room we used for the preschool ESL lesson Friday morning.

The service was full and big, held outside under awnings set up for the occasion, the front porch of the new building providing the "stage". There was a full band (Derek - you would so have loved to play with these guys) and we sang lots and lots of songs. I've been trying to follow along making the sounds of the Thai words as we sing. The effect is a little alarming, actually. Sounds like maybe I've had a stroke or something. But if I don't belt it out too loud, I actually look a little like I'm "fitting in".

Our Hot Springs children were there.! They sang a song they had practiced and I got it on tape. It was a great morning to be able to get to know them a little better. They are so shy of me!!! I guess I wasn't expecting that so much. The children at Doi Saket just come and swarm you. Our Hot Springs kids, not so much.

However, after the service there was lunch and then fruit for snacks outside. The girls had gathered at one of the tables under the trees, and when I came up to them, one of the older girls, Teh (she's the newest at Hot Springs) moved over and patted the seat beside her for me to sit down. She then handed me something. It looked like a peeled onion. She indicated that I was to eat it. There wasn't anyone around for me to ask what it was in English, but I had seen it peeled (you're not supposed to bite into anything through the peel, not if you're a weak-stomached farang), so I took a chance. I guess it was like a sweet water chestnut. Anyways....not only did I NOT get sick, but that was the first step into a careful half hour of making friends with the girls.

They are being so encouraging about my attempts to learn Thai. Narisara (her nickname is Thim) had a bracelet with coloured beads. So I asked her to teach me the names of the colours. Yellow is the hardest. It's supposed to sound like see-leung, but the eu sound in that second syllable isn't one we make in English. Apparently I am quite a source of amusement for them when I try to say it :).

After that, I got a piece of paper and showed them what I could write. We started having them write down, in Thai, their names, and I've got it all down on paper to transfer into the rice paper journal prepared before I left.

It was probably the highlight of my day, just sitting under the tree in the yard at Doi Saket with our Hot Springs girls, getting to know them. I try not to stop and think about it too much. That I'm here. With them. Because it just makes me cry with amazement. That God would grant me the longings of my heart, to be here with our kids.....I'm overwhelmed by it. What an honour. What a gift. They are so pretty - soo-ay - all of them. I can look them in the eye, hug them tight when we say goodbye at the end of the day. I'm here.

Have I been here days or months or longer? My heart can't really tell. I only know that each new day brings boat-loads of life and love. And it's always in the simple things. Eating sticky rice wrapped in a banana leaf. Daring to use a Thai word or phrase and being understood. Biting into an unknown vegetable. Hearing the voices of the children singing. Being asked to sit down beside a lovely girl who's welcoming me into the circle. And totally, completely engaging with God in all of it.

Today promises to be another full day, as my interary posted in the last blog entry suggests. I do NOT expect to be able to blog for the next couple of days. Perhaps a quick report Tuesday night (Tuesday morning for most of you), after the retreat at Wiang Pa Pao, stopping back in for a shower and repacking before heading back out to Hot Springs. I will take my blackberry to see if I can send out a group e-mail. But no promises.

Thanks for your comments and e-mails. I feel so much better connected this time than last. That is such a bonus. I am eager for every chance I get with my computer to connect with you.

Love you all.

Ruth Anne

Heads Up for the Next Few Days

For me right now it's 10:50 p.m. and I'm literally dropping off as I wait for internet connections to load. So I think it would be best to just go to bed now and take some time tomorrow morning to fill you in on some of the very cool God-moments of this day in Thailand. There have been so many!



But for the record and for those who've wanted to be praying for me in specific ways, I thought I'd just give an expected itinerary of the next few days.

Sunday a.m. Preaching at the church service held right here at Doi Saket, for homes 1 and 2.
Sunday p.m. Pack and leave for Wiang Pa Pao, north east of Chiang Mai, where all the children 4th grade and up are heading for a retreat. This includes all Hot Springs children, so I need to be there.
Sunday p.m. Give the opening lesson for the retreat (all about Who Is My Friend? and the story of the Good Samaritan.

Sunday to Tuesday - At the retreat, speaking one more time duirng.

Tuesday Head back to Debbie an Mike's for a shower and one night stay over before heading up to Hot Springs to stay.

Wednesday to Monday, probably - At Hot Springs with the children.

Friday, probably, go with Hot Springs children to the zoo.

Sunday next - Preach at Hot Springs church.

Sunday or Monday, return to Debbie and Mikes' to prepare for the flight home.

Already the experience has been so rich, I can hardly believe I haven't even actually started the "being with the Hot Springs kids" immersion thing quite yet.

I'll tell you more tomorrow but I got a really good start in getting to know our kids today, while they were in attendance at the dedication service for the new Education Centre at Doi Saket.

Honestly, that's all I can give you tonight. I'm so tired! But in a very satisfying way. My soul is being filled up moment by moment, hug by hug, child by child.

Ruth Anne

B is for Bandaid

If there was anything about my first time here that had the power to throw me off my first born female, Type A, anal retentive kiester, it was the way in which life and ministry in SE Asia was so astonishingly unpredictable. Make a plan to your own peril, because, likely as not, it would fall victim to the whims of whatever forces rebel against order and reasoned control.

This morning proved true to the random patterns that seem to define the remarkable productivity of people like Debbie and Mike Flinchum, full timers for Asia's Hope in Doi Saket. Over breakfast, one phone call completely and seemingly unflinchingly altered the course of the day. An ESL class for preschoolers, previously cancelled to allow for preparations for the weekend's dedication of the new Education Centre, was now being requested to go ahead. In like, an hour.

With almost three decades of ministry experience behind her, and an inspiring heart of servanthood, Debbie concocted a two hour preschool program "brought to you by the letter B". This was done as we collected the breakfast dishes, a few necessary props and supplies, and headed out the door.

Since I had committed myself to participating in whatever ways would be most helpful during this time before going to the reatreat at Wiang Pa Pao and then on to Hot Springs, I headed upstairs to collect whatever I might need for the day. That's when I saw the box of Sponge Bob Square Pants bandaids. It had been a small, last minute impulse buy about two days before leaving Ontario. I'm not sure what I was expecting to do with them, really. But they had caught my attention and I threw them in the shopping cart.

My friend Debora would call it "shopping with God." Before you dismiss this as a spiritualized excuse for random spending, bear in mind that the idea has a strong sense of listening and paying close attention to little nudges whenever one is anywhere where retail goods have the potential of being redirected in small but mysterious ways by a God who doesn't miss a single detail.

Having stopped by a fresh fruit stand by the side of the road to buy Buh-nanans (the morning's snack), we arrived equipped with a large blue ball, some balloons, an electronic phonics gismo, and, yes, the Buh-andaids. As soon as the "babies" (hey wait, that starts with B!) which is what the preschoolers at Doi Saket I are affectionately called, knew that Debbie had arrived and that Ashley (an intern fron Ohio) and I were gathering with her in the new Education Centre, they stumbled on over, laughing and hollering the English word "apple". The combination of baby-speak and Thai accent made it sound more like "App-o", said with great emphasis on the O sound at the end. This was very obviously the focus of the last ESL lesson.



Have you any idea what happens to the cuteness factor when 11 Asian orphan preschoolers sit in the same circle? Through the roof! They were adorable rolling the blue ball to each other. They were irresistible chanting "B says buh. B says buh. Every letter makes a sound. B says buh." The were charming in their attempts to cut out a construction paper banana for the banana tree mural. They were pure delight bashing around the balloons. And they sat with amazing patience while each one, one at a time, was given a bandaid bearing that bright and silly image of Sponge Bob Square Pants.

Each time, Debbie applies the bandaid, saying "B is for bandaid", waiting for the sweet attempt to repeat the same from each wide eyed child. They showed their bandaids to Debbie. They showed them to each other. They showed them to me. They proudly wore their bandaids for the rest of the day.

Now, it may seem like such a small thing. A box of bandaids, on sale for $2.49 at Zehrs in Waterloo, ends up in Chiang Mai as part of a totally unscheduled ESL lesson for 11 very little children whose lives will be greatly benefitted by knowing English. But I don't see it as small at all. I see it as another evidence of a God who doesn't miss a thing.

That He would do something so "insignificant" seems HUGE to me.

"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny," Jesus asked. "Yet not one of them will fall to the ground without your Father noticing. And even the very hairs of your head are numbered. So don't be afraid. You are worth more than many sparrows" (Matthew 10:30-31).

And if Sponge Bob Square Pants bandaids will help you learn English and bring delight to your little heart on a morning when it wasn't even scheduled, then those bandaids will get there and be there when you need them.

Now I am fully aware that God does what He wants when He wants, and often it can seem that we are not at all the object of His careful attention. I don't pretend to be able to explain the whole "unanswered prayer" thing, or the "why bad things happen to God's people thing"....certainly not in one blog posting. But it's the fact that these little/HUGE things happen at all in the midst of the wretchedness of this world, that helps my own soul find rest in trusting the ultimate goodness of God.



So, okay, that was just ONE of about five really, really cool "gifts" to my heart in this first full day here. So anyone who's thinking this blog will spare you from sermon illustrations in the future because I've written all about it while it was happening....think again.

Time for bed. I want to be rested up for whatever unscheduled and profound gifts God might have planned for tomorrow.

Love you.

Ruth Anne

Waking Up In A Very Good Place

I woke up this morning with that lovely sense of being somewhere I really, really want to be. Like being a kid and you realize you're back at Grampa's farm, or back at summer camp. I'm here!

What a gift it is to be met by 15 orphans at the airport. Each has a rose for me and I am greeted by 15 little wais, timid soft voices saying "Sawadee,ka/kup", and a few hugs from the more outgoing ones. Yupa is especially warm and eager to share her affections with me. Suradet's face is beaming, and we manage a great deal of mutual delight, even though he's taller than me and I'm bumbling a bit with the fact that he tries to keep his head lower than mine. Makes for a more than normal weirdness in that hug approach thing. But all of it is hilarious and wonderful in my soul.

And oh. For those who were at Highview's service rehearsal last Sunday.....I did NOT forget the gum :). They were enchanted. All smiles, chewing enthusastically. I haven't told them I have about 6 more packs. What a great idea Anne. I truly felt like I was surrounded by all of you sending your love along in those first moments of hello.

Too soon it was time to get me to the Flinchum's house where I'm staying....so I could have a shower and unpack just a little. I will see the Hot Springs kids again on Saturday when they come back to Doi Saket for the dedication of the new Education Centre there. I am also attending the "retreat" planned for Sunday through Tuesday, to be held at the farm at Wiang Pa Pao. After that I will travel with them to Hot Springs to spend as much of the rest of my time there as possible. I am waiting to determine the best time to give them their packets from all of you who sponsor them. I want to do so when it's just the Hot Springs kids there, and I can have cameras ready, but will take my cues from Mike and from how it all flows. Getting better at that "go with the flow" thing. I know...some of you are saying "It's about time!"

The very little bit of Thai I've been studying all last winter and spring is actually coming in more handy than I would have thought. First, the little bit I memorized about only speaking a little Thai....they understand me when I say it! Yes they do! That's so encouraging! Of course the conversation comes to a screeching halt as soon as they ask me anything else....but oh well.

My being able to ask the question, What is your name? is a fabulous way to start with any of the kids. They really don't care at all if I can't say anything else, and some of them seem surprised and delighted that I've spoken to them in Thai. Of course, their soft little voices responding to my question can get lost and I have to ask them to repeat. One of the babies here, his name is Bang. He has the biggest eyes ever...I'll try to get a picture....and it's easy for me to remember his name because he always looks like a big bang just went off....eyes wide open watching for what comes next in his world.


There's a lot of excitement around Doi Saket this weekend. The new Education Centre here is being dedicated. Dave Atkins, Asia's Hope Executive Director, and a loyal friend of Asia's Hope, Glen Kelly from Montreal, are arriving tomorrow from Cambodia for the festivities which happens Saturday. Then, all the kids from grade four and up from all three of the Chiang Mai homes (Doi Saket I and II and Hot Springs) are headed to Wiang Pa Pao for the retreat starting Sunday.

The Staff here not only provide general love and care for the kids, but they are very much part of the programming for special events and daily devotions. So last night they were practicing the songs they'll be singing to and with the children at the weekend events. I got to sit in.

We are outside on the porch of the guest house at Doi Saket I. Imagine a good sized deck with wooden bench chairs all around, young adults all of them, some with their own babies playing the middle of us. One guitar, lots of great harmonies, especially from the young men, and some even songs I recognize. One in particular - Give Thanks - is sung in both Thai and English. I'm able to join in.

And now, let the weak say, "I am strong"
Let the poor say, "I am rich"
Because of what the Lord has done for us

It's hot and there is a fan set up even though we're outside. Locusts scream quietly from the trees, sort of a tropic background vocal effect. Babies happily move among us. The singing is strong and comforting and disturbing all at the same time.

It occurs to me that around this circle are people who have been far "weaker and poorer" than ever I've been....but also stronger and richer in so many profound and important ways.

I have so much to learn, so much to receive. Last time this angered me. No! We were here to contribute not take from! Seemed so unfair. Like really, really unfair. Except maybe I'm starting to finally clue in. Just because my life is full of the richness of God in terms of my material blessings does not necessarily mean I have it all. These are people with a wealth of faith and understanding and gentleness and spiritual depth that maybe, just maybe, God would see fit to use them to serve me, teach me, show me. It's embarrassing to admit how vulnerable this place of humility makes me feel. But I'm starting to recognize it as a good place to be.

So, I'm here. I woke up this morning in a very, very good place.

I will send you pictures...honest...as soon as I can figure out how to do that. [Edited Note: I figured it out! RAB]

Love to you all.

Ruth Anne

The Spirit is Ecstatic But the Flesh Is Falling Asleep

I'm here! I made it! Everything went smoothly on all flights. And yes, at the airport 15 beautiful children were waiting with bright orange Discovery Camp T-shirts to greet me...WITH a small rose, one from each to make for a lovely bouquet. Suradet and Yupa were there with them, and Tutu and Mike, and it was a like a homecoming.

I want to write more, and about my evening at Doi Saket and about how the week is already unfolding....I REALLY DO.....but I am literally falling asleep as I type this out.

I promise.....more tomorrow. After I wake up. But I'm here! So thankful.

Ruth Anne

Safe and Sane (Mostly) in Tiwan

An early morning sun rises over the hills of Taipei. Barbed wired tops the walls of the permieter of the entrance gates. Traffic is plentiful even at this early hour, and trucks bearing Asian script weave in amongst the cars and motos.

Sounds exotic, I guess, but the reality is I'm looking at all of this from inside the airport as I ride one of those fancy conveyor belt thingy's. What's really exciting me more, to be honest, is a sign. SHOWERS!!!!...until I realize I didn't pack at towel...and it wouldn't have mattered anyways because it would NEVER have made it into the "shove it all into your knapsac" scene I describe in the last posting, in which I had to surrender my second carry on to checked baggage.

But I'm here. Taipei. The second of the two layovers, the last of the three flights ahead of me. I feel grubby and tired, but not as much as I remember feeling those two things last time we were at this point in the journey. For the record, so far, the three flight 30 hour deal is way better than the four flights 40 hour deal. We will bear that in mind when we're making arrangements for the team(s) to come out next spring.

So back to last night's flight. Barely slept (if anyone is interested in an exchange critiquing the movies Hancock, Get Smart, and Meet Dave, go for it), but the 14 hours went remarkably fast, in a tedious, I-can't-feel-my-butt-anymore kind of way. I feel somewhat limited by how much reading and computer work I can do by the lack of plug in ports and the fact that, unlike me, everyone around IS sleeping and my reading light would be quite a nuisance.

The woman who sat next to me was Vietnamese. I can't help but keep going back to the fact that for a long time as a junior high, I was fixed on going there as a missionary. It was big in my church at the time. The Christian and Missionary Alliance Church had and still has a strong presence in Vietnam. My seat mate and I didn't talk much, (both our preferences, I think) but our casual conversation was very warm, and reminded me to be praying for the people God loves in that country, and all of Asia's Hope's efforts there of late. I am looking forward to asking Dave Atkins more about what's going on there, when I see him.

The kids would be getting up around the time of this writing, knowing that this is the day I arrive and they get to visit the airport for the first time. It's kind of weird. I really have no idea what this would be like for them. I don't even know what to expect myself. Today's the day!!

IF there's any brain juice in me whatsoever before I go to bed tonight, I'll fill you in on how it all goes down at the airport. Can't wait to see Tutu.

Love you all,

Ruth Anne

One Down, Two To Go

Well, it's 1:32 a.m. Kitchener time and I've safely arrived at the first stop...LAX in Los Angeles. It was truly an uneventful flight and the five hours actually seemed to go fast. There was more excitement checking in for the next leg though. China Airlines has different baggage restrictions and wouldn't allow my larger bag to be a carry on. (A $32.00 service charge applies to check my third bag.)

Yikes! My computer! My 3 days worth of clothing in case the baggage gets lost!!! Clean underwear! So in a flurry of activity I set about making hard and fast decisions about what to keep and what to let go. It was like one of those values clarification exercises we did in grade 10 sociology. Books verses stitching. Trail mix verses the goodie bag Jen Connor gave me. Quick, snatch some underwear! My skirt and top are stuffed into the bottom corner of my back pack. I'm sure I'll look a site when I get off the plane in Chiang Mai. But I have my toothbrush and deodorant and a good attitude, so all is well in the end. Although it was embarrassing doing all that infront of a crowd of at least 100 people behind me. What a zoo!

They'll let me carry on my computer, so I've got it safe and sound right here with me. I couldn't bear to think of losing my opportunity to connect with you all. And this is my longest layover, my best chance to stop and say hello. [Note to Asia Team 2008: I'm in the SAME lounge at the SAME Gate (104) we were at last time through. No guff!!! Feels like home to me. Wait, that reminds me of a song!]

I'm not that tired, actually. Those who know my reputation for insomina won't be surprised. In fact, sometimes I wonder if being chronically reluctant to sleep is a bonus for this kind of trip. The next flight is 13 hours plus, so probably I'll doze off then.

So far, I've just been trying to use the time to slow down my brain. The preparations for this trip, although far easier in so many ways than our first time out as a Team, still demanded much, especially in this last week. The fall start up for Highview was particularly demanding, I found. I think others are feeling it too, and glad that the first series and the first thrust back into our new season is successfully completed and we can all ease back a bit before Christmas.

So, mostly this afternoon, I just sat still for 5 hours. All the way from Toronto to Los Angeles, I sat still. "Be still, and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10 So I did me some God-knowing today. Also read through all the Scriptures Hilda included in her letter, very encouraging, very "stilling", Thanks Hilda, so much.

It still boggles my mind how fantastic He is to have connected two churches, Hot Springs and Highview, to partner with Him to care for the orphans He's so crazy about. Half way around the world from each other. Who knew?

And here I go again. I asked God today to do whatever He felt needed doing in me. Whatever is so important that He has to get me half way around the world to show me and teach me and break me and grow me....I told Him to go ahead. I know...one of those crazy prayers, but oh well.

On another note, on the family front, He was beautifully answering prayers this morning (Tuesday morning) towards a new kind of being together for us. It's a delicate process and requires so much wisdom, so much discernment, so much that seems way beyond us. Yet He provides, in His time, His way. I am grateful.

Okay.....next time I connect I'll be off the continent. It's a 4 hour layover in Taipei.

Talk to you then.

Ruth Anne

Love Like You Won't Get Hurt

I've seen that quote in a few places lately, and even though I'm not sure who said it first, it seems to fit how I'm thinking and feeling about this return trip to Thailand.

In these last days of preparation, a lot of people have made comments about staying safe, expressing concerns not just about the traveling alone thing, or the staying healthy thing, but also about how the experience could "undo" me, like it did last time. And they're right. I did come home something of a mess last time, I admit it. There were parts of what we saw and did, and who we met and fell in love with that caused considerable pain for me and for the others on the team, both while we were there and afterward, as we "processed" everything. Many of you were part of the team that patiently walked me through the counter-culture-shock deal, and helped me cooperate with God in all the renovations to my soul He undertook because of it. Thanks again, by the way.

This time, however, I'm heading into an experience that will be different on a number of levels. For one, I've been there once so that initial shock factor, I expect will be less. (But I'll let you know if that's true or not.) Secondly, I have very different, i.e. lower, expectations of myself this time. I don't expect to be able to "DO" very much given the limitations of language and culture, not to mention that it's so stinkin' hot! Forget any ideas of being the "short term missionary" of the year, or anything like that. You can't. You're so far out of your own zone, you really can't do anything you're good at doing here. At least that's how I experienced it last time. So, I think I'm being more realistic about all of that this time.

Even so....even with the extra malaria medicine and the greater care I'll be taking in traveling alone. Even with the previous experience and the lower expectations.....there's a way in which I know, going in, I won't be "safe".

It's because of the children. It's like each small hand has grabbed a piece of my heart. Safe? No way is that a safe place, not if I don't want to get hurt with the loving of them. You can't enter into the lives of people living in the face of such enormous need and not get hurt. You can't love people in pain without feeling pain yourself. That's true here. It's true in Thailand.

Today Abby spent time at Gramma and Grandad's, and we talked a bit about Gramma leaving the next day. We've been talking about it a bit in the weeks leading up to it, so this morning it was Abby who reminded me of why I'm going. "To play with the childrens", she said.

That's right, sweetheart. To play with them, and let them wreck me again.

So, as I've promised, I will do everything under my control to stay well and arrive home as scheduled. But I'm thinking that the greater risks have to do with abandoning myself again to the deeper places of scary love God might want to take me, as He takes me again to a place called Hot Springs, half way around the world.

My flight is scheduled to take off from Toronto tomorrow (Tuesday) at 6:10 p.m. I have a layover in LA for five hours, which will be the middle of the night here, but may provide me an opportunity to connect again. No promises, but I'll try.

Feels like Christmas Eve!!

Ruth Anne

Fifteen Reasons to Get On A Plane

It's all about SE Asia. Thailand to be specific.

I'm heading there in less than a week and it seemed like a good time to get set up in a way that makes it easy for people to stay connected. So, here I am, blogging. Sounds more like a form of Maritime dance than a way to communicate, if you ask me. But if it keeps us all up to date, even from half a world away, then I'm in.

This will be a solo trip. Yup. By myself. Funny how it's worked out this time, not at all what I expected. But once I got my head around it, determined the safety of my traveling alone, and realized that I was going back to see the kids at Hot Springs...well...it kind of feels like Christmas, and I'm, like, six!!!

Fifteen children who live in the foothills of the Himalayas, about an hour northwest of Chiang Mai, in a place called Hot Springs Orphan Home, that's whom I'm going to see. These are the kids Highview sponsors. These are the kids who'll meet me at the airport. These are the kids who've wrecked my heart.

My flight leaves Toronto at 6 p.m. October 14. The plan is to stay in Chiang Mai for the first three days, get over my jet lag a bit, visit friends at Doi Saket (more sweet children actually), and then head up to Hot Springs for a full seven day visit.

I get to be "Eyi Rut" - Granny Ruth - to our 15 orphans. What a gift! Dave Atkins (Asia's Hope Executive Director) has granted me "spoiling privileges", reminding me that these kids don't have any favourite aunt or gramma to come visit them for the holidays, arriving with gifts and gum in her pocket. I get to be that Granny! What fun!

Thank you.

Thank you. All of you who have supported my going, financially or holding down the fort at home or at the church so I can go….Thank you. So much. Ken, thank you especially.

The events of our lives these past four months have pushed me to the edges of myself on so many levels. There has been no end to the list of hard things to face and hard work to do. The demands have been relentless, the joys hard won through obedient faith.

But this….this is joy for my soul. This is rest for my spirit. This is a gift to ease the longings that have pestered my heart since the day I got on the plane to come home last February.

So…I’ll keep you “posted”. See, I’m getting the hang of the lingo already!!!!

Ruth Anne

Getting Started

Thanks to Kristyn I'm getting my start in the mysterious world of blogging. Do you believe it?