It seems like it was a weekend of learning through my mistakes.
I know, I know. It's all supposed to be good and fine if you actually learn from making mistakes. But the truth is, I hate making mistakes in the first place. It's embarrassing, frankly. And especially when it's in areas that, by now, I should have it down.
Leadership stuff. Little nuances that have big implications. Meetings that don't go as I envisioned. Meaningful intentions that go awry. Missing basic cues in group dynamics. Coming to the table without the big picture in mind and getting lost in the details. I know better.
People stuff. Emails that get sucked into the vortex that is my relentless inbox. Meetings that bump into one another. Birthdays that get forgotten. Thank yous left unsaid. Balancing the priorities of who will get my attention, trying not to let the loudest squeaker get the grease, but knowing the squeakers still count. Loving oh so imperfectly.
I fumbled and spluttered this weekend. So I come to the eve of my Sabbath renewal knowing I was most certainly not the best me I could be. Doesn't feel so great.
Glad to have the chance to tomorrow to regroup. And ponder the lessons. Determine corrective action steps. And keep on learning, glad for the grace offered to me by those who should have been led better. Humbled by the grace of a Saviour who is made greater in my weakness.
