Random March-end Musings

Recycling items held fast all winter, released from the snowbank, fill another whole bin. 

I seem destined to find residual gritty clumps of icy mud if I don't wear my boots.

Suddenly the pot of Christmas greens still on the porch is utterly inappropriate.

When do the Easter lilies and hot cross buns and chocolate go on sale?

The snow is mostly gone but I still want a fire by evening.

The sunshine is seductive but the wind is still cold.

We're starting to talk about the cottage.

So glad I don't have a dog.

Roll up the rim.

Lent.

Winter was hard.

But new life is stirring now.

Fasting reveals unknown longings.

Longer days encourage hearts and lift spirits.

The promise of Resurrection begins in a whisper.

So much in the story of it to be thoroughly gob-smacked by.

Every Eucharist holds me more fiercely in its remembrance dance of wonder.

The closer I get to The Morning the more I just want to worship in the strength of it.

Sorrow held fast in the grip of despair, released from my chest, gives way to the party.

For This

It's another Thai-style  Saturday at Hot Springs.

 Starts early enough as does every day, with sleepy voices singing worship and reciting Scriptures.  Jaroen leads with the guitar. while Praweet tries to wake up.  Ahjahn Suradet is talking about seeking God's wisdom, moving us through Proverbs 21, and encouraging us to embrace the day with joy.  We pray for David, and Laywee and Eak who are on a school trip to Bangkok for three days.  We pray for Praweet who will be playing in a cricket match today.  We pray for Kuhn Linda, for healing and strength.  And of course we pray for every sponsor of every child.  We do this twice every day; here in the mornings, and then later after supper when we will be together again like this.

The sun is just rising as we are dismissed to chores first, then breakfast.  I set up my table on the porch, even though this won't be a full out desk-work kind of morning.  I only hope to get everything ready for tonight's ESL and Bible lesson, prepare a little for the short meeting Suradet, Yupa and I will have closer to lunch, and rehearse again the sermon I will bravely (and probably foolishly) attempt to preach in Thai tomorrow.

It's getting warmer sooner in the mornings.  I find by 10 a.m. it's wiser for me to come inside, even though everything in me wants to soak up as much warmth and sunshine as I can before heading back next Tuesday.

Never mind.  By 10 all the chores are done and the younger girls are wanting to work on projects for their Sponsors, and to read.

I've read and read and read this visit.  Some of the kids have completed three cards and are working on a fourth!  I should say, I've read and been read to.  These are good moments, breath-taking in their simplicity and gentleness.  After school.  After evening worship when it's cooler again and we sit down by the fire.  Book after book.  Up close with the younger ones who like to snuggle.  Around the table still having fun with the teenagers.  Little voices, changing voices, Thai voices.  I just might be able to recite Robert Munch's "Andrew's Loose Tooth" by heart by now.  And all the phonics readers from Usborne.  And no end of other treasures donated by so many who are so generous to help us learn English.  I'd recite them, but likely with a Thai accent by now.

The meeting this morning is easier than the first two, with less business, but still requires all of our attention.  These days of getting everything set up for The New Family Foundation are exciting but sometimes, to be honest, a little tedious in the details and the translation of those details.  I marvel at our ability to work though so much business together now.  Can't help but remember that first visit when I didn't know one word of Thai, and their English was very much at the beginning stages.  Figuring out when supper would be served was the big challenge then.  Now we comb through legal documents, agreements, insurance policies.   To coin a Thai phrase, "Oy!"  But I'm so honoured to be serving God together with these heroes.

After lunch I rehearse the sermon again, and feel a little more confident that maybe I will actually preach this and not just read it - poorly.  "Waiting For God" is the title, all about how we respond when God doesn't seem to be answering prayers.  I so know those times.  But I have to admit, that tomorrow I'm preaching this particular subject matter from a time that's quite the opposite.

Abundance.  Flavour.  Colour.  Warmth.  Seeing the fruition of a long investment here.  Watching God answer and come through and provide in ways I can hardly describe without sounding like I'm making it up.  But I'm not.  I'm here and it's real.  And it's so, so good.

I confess to a longing for a solid English conversation.  The first-week struggle with my Thai language skills is long over, and I've been speaking and listening and thinking in Thai with no native English speakers to speak of (ha!) in sight for the past four weeks.  And, I've been saying that I miss Ken, but I don't miss the snow.  And, yes, it's truly amazing to me that I have not one, but two sensational lives, one on each side of the planet, and I am looking forward to be home there too.

But this.  This has been so rich.  So good.  So reassuring.

I did a big thing in making this my only thing.  Last year was a big year of change and adjustment.  And likely the adjustments are not completely done yet.

But being here right now at the beginning of 2019, and having it be like this -- So much abundance.  So much flavour.  So much colour and warmth and confirmation and gratitude and being appreciated and loved.  So.  Much.  This is good.

This is why.

For this, and so many other astonishing reasons, I willingly lay it all down.
Again and again.

Four more days.

And just on curious note:
EVERY Wednesday including and since the Wednesday I left Ontario, there has been a major storm of some sort.  I am arriving home on a Wednesday.  Could be interesting.