Bead Kisses

We're here, we made it.

That's the first thing I need to get out there.

Quick.  Jet lag is hot on my heels, behind my eyes.

More of a story, when I'm not struggling so hard to stay awake.

Next, quickly now, before I droop again.

Just in case you were wondering if the packets you make as Sponsors matter.

Bee Mai is kissing her beads.

She did this over and over tonight as all the children opened their packets. 

I have more.

But I've literally dropped off twice while writing these few lines.

So, it's to bed.

Grateful and beyond for all the grace that brought us here.

Great team spirit through the typhoon.

But that's another story.

Blessings.

 

Clarity

Monday afternoon and the transitional clutter and confusion is started to get sorted.

Suitcases and carry-ons for Thailand are almost ready, all but what can't be done until mostly last minute anyway. All the shopping for sundries, which had to wait until we were back in the city, is done.

Van is unloaded and tidied and ready for our packing time as a Team tonight. Weigh scale is at the ready, and so far it looks good for staying within the limits AND bringing all we wanted to bring. We'll see how things go tonight.

I've also got my purse ready to go, which sounds like no big deal, but actually has about three steps to it, all very detailed, including all those carry on fluids, snacks, and a thorough change over of my wallet.

Another big relief today. The dentist agrees my broken back tooth is stable enough to not be too much trouble while I'm gone. I haven't really mentioned this yet, because it happened at Thanksgiving already, hasn't been bothering me, and, to be honest, I was fairly certain this would be the assessment, so I haven't been thinking of it too much. Still, I realized as I walked out of the office just how much I needed to get that go ahead checked off the list. Whew!

Back to the van. Having that all sorted and ready for our trip to the airport really helped clear my head too. Just felt like there were so many details and lists and things to sort through, between the cottage and Thailand. It was getting rather swimmy in there.

But here, just now, in the latter part of the afternoon of the day before, in the comfort of our stay, I feel it all washing away and sorting itself out and coming together.

Like Muay helping Wanmai shower off at the end of our little bai tea, out for a swim, last July.

Aaah yes.

And of course, I took another look at those pictures from last time just in case I might forget the why of it all in the mist of the doing of it all.

Those kids!
Soon my beloveds, soon!

When You See It For Yourself

Today has been full of all the feels.

Still feeling the physicality of closing the cottage, big time, and the crazy way the van is, and how it just represents the strange space I'm in to be back but leaving again. Living out of a suitcase again.

Grateful for the generous hospitality of friends (a beautiful, recurring theme these past four months already) for a place to stay and rest a little and finish off the packing, both personal and ministry, for Thailand.

Grateful for the time spent this morning worshiping at Highview, and the kind Commissioning the November Team received. It means so much to be prayed over. Every time.

So very excited and encouraged, awkward selfies notwithstanding, to see with our own eyes the progress made on our house so far! There will be pauses here and there, no doubt. But has there ever been a LOT accomplished this week! Standing there, beside the foundation in the sunshine this afternoon, it felt more real.

This morning, in one song we sang together, we were reminded that God's love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on us. And on and on it goes, like the wild sky over Georgian Bay that I've had so much time to sit under these past months. Pictures, like the one I've included here, kept coming to mind as we sang.

In between, that's how these next few days will feel.
It's a good place to get that 360 degree perspective I think.
From all angles.

And it all looks pretty amazing to me.

Final Fridays (For Now)

 

Taking a few moments before I really get at it. All the packing and putting away in prep for tomorrow's departure for the season.

So many things to say, really. A lot said already, probably. More to muse on, very definitely.

I know I will look back on this extended season with amazement for all God has done. To be settled here during a rather unsettling period of our life has been an enormous gift.

The good thing about staying later is that it won't be as long before we're back, Lord willing.

And....

Things ahead are exciting too. It's been a busy week in the foundation department of the construction of our new home. Can't wait to see it with my own eyes.

And...

So looking forward to hugs from grandkids.

And...

So looking forward to worshiping in person at Highview on Sunday.

And...

Our Team is ready to visit the beloveds in Thailand once again, leaving in the wee hours of Wednesday morning.

Here we go.
A final Friday for now.

Hope your week is winding up well.

Out-of-Milk Thursday

 

 

“Be still

and know that I am God.”

Psalm 46:10

 

In a new communication tactic on behalf of some of my forest friends, I noticed a bird flitting back and forth across the bedroom window this morning as I was blow-drying my hair.  A quick glance outside, and there was a blue jay sitting on the step.  At first I needed to be outside before they’d come.  Next, if I was sitting at the table by the front window.  Now, it seems, they’ve found me back around side of the cottage.  I’m impressed.

 So, I’ve put some peanuts out in rationed portions, reserving a few last handfuls for tomorrow.

That will be our last full day here.

Peanuts rationed.  We’re also out of milk.  I’m down to my last serving of yogurt.  The fridge is feeling emptier.  These are all the signs that we will soon vacate this home and head back to the city to begin the next phase in our little housing transition adventure.

We’ve enjoyed incredible temperatures these past several days.  This morning the fire is on and we’re layered up.  The packing has begun and the place looks a bit unruly, to be honest.   So does my to do list.  I’m not going to get it ta-done.  Not all of it.  So I’m rationing out that as well, prioritizing and giving my best energies to the tasks that count the most.

Like the frantic jays, I find it harder to be simply present these past few days.  Or rather, I have to be more intentional about it.  I have to be still on purpose.  Take a few moments on the deck to feed the blue jays and soak up all the colours of the early morning.

 What a good gift it’s been to have been here this long.

What amazing things await us back in the city….and also half way around the world.

Leaving for Thailand on Wednesday, and that will be another beautiful thing in itself.

So, happy Thursday.

Wishing you abundance in all things today.

But if you find yourself having to ration anything, make sure to stop and be still anyways.

If you get the chance.

Rock Solid Wednesday

 

Trust in the LORD himself;

for the LORD,

the LORD himself,

is the Rock eternal."

Isaiah 26:4

It was a full day yesterday, as these last days tend to be. Packing and packing and packing, repeated here not so much for emphasis on how much there is to do, but for the categories required to make sure everything gets to the right destination. There is no simple point A to point Be going in our lives right now.

Because it was so warm and summery, it seemed good to take advantage to finish the final clean-the-boat-before-winterizing ritual, which we did together. Felt good to be out in the sunshine like that.

Lots to do, and I'm feeling it. So to balance things a bit, I went out on purpose later in the afternoon as the sun came around to shine directly on our side of the channel. I wanted to get some good pictures of our buildings surrounded by the fall colours.

The water was so still that any ripples you see were solely of my own doing. Sat a while to allow the surface to mirror itself again, and it was so still and quiet! Slow even breaths, just to be in the beauty.

Can't help but notice the rocks, and the firm, unchanging foundation they provide.

I took way more pictures than this, but thought I'd just post a sampling.

Of course, if you look through the pictures you'll see a few that aren't so pretty but just as happy for us. It's of the footings that went in yesterday! Firm foundations are essential anywhere you build.

Feeling the countdown on both sides of things.

Glad for mirrored moments to remind me of my Rock.

Wishing you a Wednesday that brings confidence and anchoring to your soul.

Tangible Tuesdays

 

You can imagine the excitement yesterday when we started getting these pictures!

Yes!  We’re digging!!  Well, technically WE aren’t, but people with fun machines and who know what they are doing rolled onto the property yesterday morning early to break up the earth and make us a lovely hole.

Our new little home will have a crawl space only, but that’s enough to require the excavation in preparation of the next step…pouring the concrete foundation.

Yes and yes!!  Things are really starting to take shape now.  And while we expect the process to take its own time with any number of things to wait through and wade through, it sure does feel good to have this first visible step happening.

Big thanks to our son David, who is overseeing this in person until we get back, managing the inconveniences of such a big mess right in his own backyard, and staying so positive and encouraging!! Also to Harvest who came home to a big hole out back and sent us a picture right away.

So, in contrast to all the lovely fall colours reflected on the glassy waters of Georgian Bay, brace yourselves for the incoming onslaught of crazy mess building pictures that only look beautiful to the people who are excited about what’s coming. 

“Unless the LORD builds the house….”  Psalm 127:1

Curious Mondays

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;

I counsel you with my loving eye on you."

Psalm 32:8

On this particular Monday I am particularly curious.

This begins the last week in an experimental, not-necessarily-planned-this-way stint away from our lives in Kitchener-Waterloo, to be here at our summer home on Georgian Bay.   This is the last week in October.  We've never stayed this long.

It's been amazing!

  

While it would never be my first choice to be away from family and friends this long, we have managed to stay connected.  And even though this is usually a place we take our vacation, both of us have continued to work from here, thanks to the marvels of modern technology, and the patience and grace of everyone who has flexed with us.

And while it wasn't in the original between-houses plan, my living through it and reflections about it, in these past days especially, lead me to believe this was something I truly, deeply needed.  Especially these past two months.  I am quite sure I'll look back on our moving-transition-emergency-appendectomy-delays-in-the-new-build chapter of our story, and realize just how much I was loved to be able to just stay still and quiet in a sacred place for this long.  I know this.  I have been so well loved in the giving of this gift.

Still waters.  Restored soul.

So, this morning, this last Monday morning, I'm curious.  Because there have been some unusual and, from my point of view, disruptive events happening along this part of the journey.  It's a journey we started planning for and praying about two years ago, towards a simpler lifestyle that better reflected the integrity of the partnerships God has been inviting us into with beloveds on the other side of the planet.  We stepped out, yes, in faith.  And it hasn't gone exactly the way we expected.

It's been better.  So far it has.  

So I'm curious.  As we finish out this part of the transition between homes, and we face uncertain time lines in these next three months, what else has God got in mind?  Might not be still waters.  We'll have to readjust to city life.  Very likely the way will include more frustrations and other kinds of sacrifices.  

Some surprises, yes.  

And there likely will be more.

But, okay.  

Let's see where this takes us.

Happy curious Monday, friends.

Wishing you good surprises and tons of grace for the journey you find yourself on right now.

AND....

Between writing and posting something exciting has begun on our property for the new build.

Pictures to follow!!!!!!!!!!

The Divine is in the Details

 

For since the creation of the world

God's invisible qualities --

His eternal power and divine nature --

have been clearly seen,

being understood from what has been made.

Romans 1:20

The heavens declare the glory of God,

the skies proclaim the work of his His hands.

Day after day they pour forth speech;

night after night they reveal knowledge.

Psalm 19:1-2

A smattering of photographic praise this morning, worshiping the wonder of God through all the close-up, horizon-wide, sky-bold, day-and-night, delicately-detailed, broadly-stroked captures of creation.

What a vibrant fall it is has been, even as we are only now seeing a fuller scope of colours on the trees. Blues are bluer for sure. Mist is mistier somehow. Or maybe it's just that I know I have less than a week left here, and I'm just trying to soak it all in.

Blessings to all this stellar Sunday morning!

A special hello to my Highview friends.

We'll be joining on line at 10:30.

See you (sort of) then.

{But next week.....)

One More Week

"You will keep in perfect peace (shalom, shalom)

those whose minds are steadfast

because they trust in You."

Isaiah 26:3

A steadfast mind is a choice. But, I have to say, so much easier to choose in the peace of this place.

It was a newsy day yesterday, and lots of conversation back and forth about how plans may yet again change based on circumstances beyond our control. I'm referring to our upcoming trip to Thailand and how that overlaps with some complex health issues for folks there, complicated further by the recent flooding in Chiang Mai.

In the end we're still on, but with some modifications, and not without a fair bit of 'big feelings' in play as I sorted myself out in the uncertainty through most of yesterday. You can check out the Highview to Thailand blog for more details.

For now I'll say that I woke up feeling a tad weary in spirit, despite a good night's sleep (remarkably).

That's why I'm staying mindful of the quiet today.

One more week here.

So much yet to do.

And also, just to be.

Hope you are finding your own peace on this Thursday.

Sending along this picture from my time down on the boat last evening for anyone who might need to borrow some tranquility.

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New Day

The Super Moon living up to its name as it disappears behind the trees this morning, making a big exit as the sun rises on the other side of the arch.

It was so bright all night. At least in those moments I was awake enough to peek outside. Clear, cold sky. Beauteous morning!

And now the mist is sliding slowly across the glassy surface of the water. The rising sun casting pinkish hints of its warmth on everything.

Fire's on. Tea is brewed. List lays open.

One of our girls at Hot Springs comes to mind. Her name is Wanmai, which means "new day." And yes, Sweetheart, I'll see you soon.

Well, I certainly am inspired!

Let's get this glorious day started!!!

Winding Down or Winding Up?

Another chilly morning, for sure!

Grateful for mounds of blankets, and a roaring fire, and some hot oatmeal for breakfast.

And for a clear day ahead to charge into what's still left to be completed before we close up the cottage and I head off to Thailand.

How is it that we've been here for what to us has been an elongated cottage season, and I'm still feeling like it all went by way too fast? Granted, there were a few rather big life events along the way. Plus amazing times with family. And some good projects finished off.

Still, here I am, a mere 11 days before leaving here, and 14 days before boarding the plane. And still plenty to do.

I should add here that I'm also grateful for those who are helping to get it all done along with me. It's amazing what you can delegate remotely, and delightful to have so many willing volunteers.

So, on to Wednesday.

It's strange to be in a space of both winding down the cottage season AND winding up to the next trip. Beyond that? Stay tuned for further updates on our new build.

Stay cozy everyone.

Frost on the Boat

 

More often I post pictures of this view, across from our side of the channel, at sunset. But this morning's sunrise on clouds, all reflected in the still water, makes me want to share with you what greets me this morning. This is taken from our kitchen window.

You can't see it from here, but -- there's frost on the boat this morning.

Here, I'll give you a close up.

Yup. It's now officially "after Thanksgiving."
And I'm still glad to be here.

It's definitely on the cooler side of things yesterday and today. My phone's weather app says "4 feels like -1" and I'd have to agree. We're all warm and cozy under the blankets all night, so no problems there. It's that transition from pj's to clothes, and the waiting for the main room to warm up after the fire's on.

For some cottagers who are here all year, or at least for three full seasons, this is all a familiar part of the experience. But for us, who have all our lives closed up before the end of September, we are just now stepping into new ways of cottage life that are fresh (pun intended) and fun.

I mean, just look at those colours! If I step out on our deck and point the camera just a little to the right. Stunning!

And it strikes me that all of this is only happening because something else we wanted to happen hasn't happened yet. That if plans had gone according to plan we would have planned to be gone by now. I'd be missing all this.

And not just the experience of stunning October skies, and frost on the boat, and valiant efforts to keep ourselves warm. I'd be missing the prolonged solitude, the extra times around the island in the kayak, and the chance to really get at some of those more tedious little projects on the property.

More importantly, I'd be missing the sense of being absent from loved ones that only serves to reaffirm affections, and the enormous place they have in my life.

And most importantly, I'd be missing the opportunity to experience that place of deeper intimacy with God that only those faith-pressing spaces can provide. Spaces of uncertainty. Spaces of waiting. Spaces of not knowing how the story will go, but trusting the One who invites me to co-author it with Him.

So here we go into yet another spectacular week, shortened for most of us. I hear the weekend is supposed to warm up a bit, which will be great for getting back out onto the deck.

Hope whatever is ahead of you today is full of fresh and fun possibilities!!!

Gratitude Triptych Panel 3 - Landscapes

 

Can I still say thank You when nothing's happening?

Proverbs 16:9

In their hearts humans plan their course,

but the Lord establishes their steps.

Or does gratitude grind a little while I'm waiting?

Habakkuk 2:3

For the vision awaits an appointed time; 

it speak of the end and will not prove false.  

Though it lingers, wait for it, it will certainly come.

Is there added irony and increased temptation for frustration when

it's the same deal on both side of the planet?

Ecclesiastes 3:1

To everything there is a season,

a time to every purpose under heaven.

All landscaped and ready.

2 Peter 3:8-9

With the Lord a day is like a thousand years,

and a thousand years like a day.

The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise,

as some understand slowness.

Instead He is patient with you, 

not wanting anyone to perish,

but everyone to come to repentance.

A build on property 45 km east of Chiang Mai.

To house our children and grow them into a secure future.

Ecclesiastes 3:11

Everything is beautiful in its own time.

A build on property in central Kitchener

to house ourselves without burden in the last decades of our lives here.

1 Timothy 6:15

For at just the right time

Christ will be revealed from heaven

by the blessed and only

Almighty God, 

the King of all kings,

and Lord of all lords.

But no digging yet.

No momentum, nothing happening, nada.

It's all just sitting there, 

waiting.

Psalm 130:5

I will wait for the LORD,

my whole being waits,

and in His word I put my hope,

I wait for the LORD

more than watchmen wait for the morning.

Can I still say thank You when nothing's happening?

This Thanksgiving weekend,

waiting like this,

I press towards the yes.

I choose what I can't lose.

I must trust.

Because this is the gratitude that comes 

speedily in the slowness of it,

when God's come through before.

He's famous for that, 

for coming through.

Rarely in ways I expected,

but exactly how it was meant to be.

So thank You for all the goodness of Your plans for these two properties, Faithful Father!

Thank You for the love that holds things back when I would rush forward, for the wisdom of it.

Thank You for providing everything we need right when we need it.

Thank You for the waiting.

This time when I get to learn to trust You over and again.

And I do know,

that when it looks like nothing's happening,

it's only because

I can't see what You see.

Gratitude Triptych Panel 2 - Brushstrokes

Thanksgiving at Hot Springs, October 2019

Confession.  Orange is a colour for which I have only seasonal affection.  This time of year, bring it on!  Make it pop.  Be generous with the hues of pumpkins and gourds and leaves.  Any other time of the year, however, well just never mind.    

Except.  

Orange is a strong, deliberate brushstroke in every sunrise.  

So there's that.

I remember an exceptionally welcome rim of orange one sunrise following a night that will only ever be remembered as brutal.  It's odd that this comes to mind for me, this particular Thanksgiving.  I can see no direct prompts or triggers.  Only except that there does seem to be some space this year, given where we're at in all our transition and the quiet of this place, for letting certain thoughts visit a little longer than I might normally allow.

I will tell the story here, as part of my Sunday morning thanksgiving offering of worship.  But fair warning.  It's a rather subjective retelling of unverifiable things; perceptions really, of how I experienced what some might call a 'vision.'  If that makes you uncomfortable, which it sometimes does me, then let's just call it a particularly personal experience of God's comfort where my human imagination seemed inspired by the Divine.  Not unlike we might attribute to certain pieces of art and the artists that create them.

It begins with a real life drive across the 401 eastward that started in Waterloo at midnight, during the kind of late March snow that requires a blast of windshield wiper fluid on basically every swipe.  I had to make frequent stops, not just to refill the fluid, but also because I was passing a kidney stone.  

I was only on the highway that night because my Mother had fallen and broken her hip, and there was nothing for it but to brute the drive and get there as soon as I could.  It's another awful real life story why she lived this far away.  I had begged her not to do it in anticipation of this very scenario.  But here I was, feeling so anxious for Mom, and not a little sorry for myself too.

To help keep me alert, and also mentally and spiritually oriented on things bigger than myself, I had a collection of CDs with me (yes, this was back then).  And it so happened, near the end of that endless night drive, that Chris Tomlin's "Sovereign" (see link and lyrics below) began ever so gently just as I rounded a bend facing eastward atop a hill that gave a broad view of the horizon.  The sun was barely rising.  Ever so slightly orange at first, and ever so slowly becoming brighter.

I sucked wind, it was that beautiful, and that co-incidentally coordinated.

Then, in the mist of that moment, Jesus stepped in and took my hand and led me to a broad white canvas.  He moved behind me and took each of my wrists in each of His and moved my arms in sway with the music.  First, from my right hand came colour and vibrancy and shape, flowing down on the canvas in broad, bold strokes.  And it was immediately apparent to me that this was depicting the story of my life so far.

"In Your everlasting arms, all the pieces of my life, from beginning to the end...."

And I could see unsightly blobs and tangled layers of blacks and browns and sour greens mixed in with all that was being laid out on the canvas.  These were the deep times of sadness and confusion and fear of my childhood, my teen years, and the beginning of my adult life.  At first I didn't want them there, ruining the wonder.  Yet it soon became obvious that they were intrinsic to such a dynamic, interesting tableau, adding to the texture and strength of what was unfolding.

And Jesus is right there behind me, speaking words of comfort and affirmation, encouraging me to keep going.

The the horizon brightens, the music swells.

Red for Thailand, White for Canada

"In Your never failing love You work everything for good, God whatever comes my way..."

And now, with Jesus still orchestrating all the movement of this, my left arm is in play and new and exotic shapes and colours are forming on the other side.  I see Suradet and Yupa as children, cold and hungry and shivering in the mountain air of their own story of poverty.  And Jesus is making a beautiful thing of this as well.  Other children, once held down in the lethargy of learned hopelessness, get up and start to dance.  And there is unspeakable joy in my heart at being witness to this.  Somehow, some crazy how, this seems to be connected to all the unhappy stuff that's already been painted on either side of the canvas!  And it's all coming together in the middle, where a beyond-my-imagination landscape is coming into focus.  

Before it is finished, the whole thing ends.  

Yes, I am still driving.  I'm still alert to my immediate surroundings.  It's just, with the music and the lyrics and the visual of the sunrise in front of me, this particularly personal experience of God's comfort where my human imagination seemed inspirited by the Divine presented itself to me like this.  And this is the best I can describe it.  

Like I said, there's no specific reason for me to tell this story again this Thanksgiving.  Except, I realize that these reminders of the bigger brushstrokes of my life are actually very essential for me now.  Bigger than any medical issues (with kidney stones or appendicitis).  Bigger than the weighty responsibilities of care (for Mom or at-risk and orphan children).  Bigger than nature itself (whether smudgy later winter storms, or catastrophic flooding).  Bigger than where I lay my head at night (here at the cottage, in my set apart room at Hot Springs, in our temporary room with our son starting in November, or in our own new little house sometime early next year).

"All my fears, all my dream, held in Your hands... All my hopes, all I need, held in Your hands..."

And Thanksgiving Weekend isn't even over yet.

Sovereign, Chris Tomlin (1:51)

Sovereign in the mountain air
Sovereign on the ocean floor
With me in the calm
With me in the storm

Sovereign in my greatest joy
Sovereign in my deepest cry
With me in the dark
With me at the dawn

In Your everlasting arms
All the pieces of my life
From beginning to the end
I can trust You

In Your never failing love
You work everything for good
God, whatever comes my way
I will trust You

All my hopes
All I need
Held in Your hands

All my life
All of me
Held in Your hands

All my fears
All my dreams
Held in Your hands

All my hopes
All I need
Held in Your hands

God, whatever comes my way
I will trust You

Our Thanksgiving Cottage Mantle