Something To Prove

 "Let your conversations be always full of grace,                                                                                     seasoned with salt,                                                                                                                                     so that you may know how to answer everyone."                                                                                  Colossians 4:6

Maybe it's just me, but lately I seem to be having conversations that start out with a simple question or topic, and end up having a bit more of an edge than I anticipated.  I'm not aware of having brought any agenda or controversy into the mix, but out of nowhere, it seems I am suddenly having to defend something.  

I expect this sort of thing from time to time.  I am, after all, in a role where I've been invited to lead and teach and challenge and correct, and that's bound to provide good space for the give and take of a healthy both-ways-learning conversation. 

But what's surprised me is how triggering the simplest of comments seem to be even when that was most certainly not my intention.  I have and will keep on checking my own approach, my choice of words, my body language, my timing.  I'm sure I've been "off" in some cases.  But some of it at least, I have to think is just about how much crazy stress we've all been under for such a long time.

There's a lot to have big feelings and strong opinions about right now.  Pandemic restrictions lifting, masks or not, boosters or not.  Protests that turn into occupations.  War.  That's all the big stuff, and I think we're all probably careful about who we bring up those topics with.  But simpler things, in expressing a preference, or asking a question, or making what probably should be a casual observation, how did all that get so loaded?  

I really don't like to argue.  It's never been a strength of mine, and it's not the way I learn.  Yes, I know honest conversations can sometimes get heated, and every deep relationship has to have those.  No skimming.  But as a rule?  In a general way of going about life and love and relationships?  Just to prove a point?  There are just so many better, richer ways to invest my energy.  You won't really get much of a fight out of me.

Except come to think of it, I do have something to prove.

If we get into it at any point, I hope I can prove that I am for you and not against you.  I hope I can prove that I'm willing to listen and learn and consider another point of view.  I hope I can prove that the best win in any conversation is a better understanding.  I hope I can prove that I don't need to "be right" to still be valid, or that you need to "be wrong" for me to be valid.  

And mostly, I hope I can prove that my claim to follow Jesus means in all things and in all ways I will seek to bring peace and restoration to this crazy stressed out world we're all navigating right now.

Walking and talking this through carefully with you.

Ruth Anne