The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. Galatians 5:6

Friday, November 29, 2024

A Kind of Christmas Fast

 



Somewhere in the back of a storage unit, all packed in bins, tidy and safe, are all my Christmas decorations.

When I put them there last January, it was with the expectation that, by September or so, we'd be all settled in nicely into our new home, and come November I'd just have to go down to the crawl space to find them.

Nope.

So I'm doing without this year. Or at least mostly. Ken did find the small tree that used to be in my office space, and the large wreath for the front door (but not the hook to hang it), and a bin marked 'greenery' that might provide a way to make things look festive.

I am sensitive not to intrude into the intentional fuss-free lifestyle of our son with whom we are sharing this Christmas space right now. He's given me permission to do whatever I need to do, and I would like to and probably will do something. But I'm also committed not to spending much if any money on things I know I already have and just need to wait for.

I am discovering things about myself in this space.

Ken and I are doing a lot of costing out of things right now, in prep for the move in date (hoping for January 11). This has taken us into many decked out retail spaces, and I find it similar to being on a diet and visiting a bakery. There's an exaggerated sense of longing due to the absence of the longed for thing. Everything is oh so pretty!

Please understand that I decorate for Christmas, and do it early, because it helps provide the visual space in which the sacredness of the season can best nudge my soul towards the Child. Far from being a distraction to the 'real meaning of Christmas,' I find it an enhancement.

So this year?

Same in its opposite.

There's a prayer I've learned to whisper during times where loved things or loved ones are withheld for any number of reasons.

"Turn all my longings into longings for You."

I say it often in the stores. I say it when I remember our mantle back at our old house. I say it when it's the first Friday night after Ken's birthday and I'm not decorating the tree. I say it when the longings linger into a snowy pre-dawn meditation.

And I find that Christmas meets me there too.

"How silently, how silently,
the wondrous Gift is given.
So God imparts to human hearts
the blessings of His heaven."
(O Little Town of Bethlehem)

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