Both Sides of the Sun - A Valentine's Story

 

To love and be loved

is to feel the sun from both sides.

David Viscott

So many Valentine's ago now, when my children were small, I decided to write them a love letter to celebrate the day.  Before this, we had made or bought little cards with hilarious or cheesy declarations of love, likely with characters familiar from cartoons or other animated movies.

This year I handed each of my children a white, letter-sized envelope with their name in fancy lettering and a heart on the front.  Yes, there was chocolate to go with.

Kristyn received it eagerly, reading my letter and giving me a lovely hug at the end, before digging into her treat.

David's response surprised me.  He looked confused at first, then crossed his arms and outright refused to accept the envelope.  "That's not a Balentine!" he insisted.  And when I tried to coax him, he cried.  It took a while, maybe half an hour of gentle explanation, plus the bribe of eating the chocolate first, before I could convince him to let me read the letter to him.

As I did, he softened.  And when I was done, he smiled and said, "Mommy, at first it didn't look like a Balentine.  But when you read it to me it felt like a Balentine."  Big hug then.

A few thoughts on love from this.

One.  Loving intentions don't always land well. 

Two.  Careful explanation and attentive listening are required to really be able to speak and hear love.

Three.  How things feel to the other person matter.  

Four.  Chocolate covers a multitude of love fumbles.

And if I could stretch one more thought out of this and perhaps other fun family Valentine stories, it would be to repeat and reinforce once again that love is not just for couples.  How ridiculous.  If you're not in a couple it does not mean you are not engaged in loving exchange; both to love and be loved.

And if you are in a couple, but love is lacking, same.  In both scenarios, a broader focus allows more love into our lives.

Just a word here to express my most profound joy and gratitude in all the love I feel is so undeservedly poured out and overflowing into my life.  Often - and days like this bring it forward - I sit in wonder at how I could ever be this rich!

So.

Today I pray that you would feel the sun from both sides.

And I wish you chocolate.