In my mind 2013 was clearly divided into two parts; sane and insane. Only on the calendar it was reversed.
On this day last year, January 1, 2013, the insanity that had started my very first day back from the cottage that previous August, spilled over into the new year, stringing out into what would become days, weeks and months of non-stop, unpredictable, unrelated stresses. It's true enough that my life is intrinsically entwined with the lives of about 100 other people in a community of faith that values authenticity, and that in itself is an invitation to the unexpected messes of reality. Pastors are expected to become involved in all manner of situations without much notice. And it's often an intensive kind of involvement. Part of the territory for sure.
But in the 30 plus years I have been involved in this kind of work, both as a volunteer and otherwise, I cannot remember a time when the weirdness factor was quite so high. So much. So intense. So relentless.
Serious medical crises, conflicts over policy and practice, walking someone through a criminal investigation, and three deaths in 11 days. None of this ever showed up on the radar until it was urgent. No planning possible. At all. For months I was thrust into a zone of my least competency - flying by the seat of my pants. For months.
And then of course, there's my own stuff going on.
My daughter and two of our grandchildren, who had lived with us for the past three years, had moved out just before Christmas. And while this was very positive move, something we had been working toward together, representing strong things for our family, I found myself grieving harder than I expected at the sudden absence of their little selves in my daily life. Because they were still relatively close and we saw them at least once a week, it was hard to explain, even perhaps to myself, why I was feeling it so strongly, why the sadness was so much. I didn't talk about it too much because, well, it sounded silly.
I was nursing some grudges during that time as well. Old stuff. At least eight years old, if not longer. And I'm ashamed of it, because I know better. I preach better on this than I was living it then, at the beginning of 2013. And it's stupid. Because the energies required to hold on to past hurts, and the brain space needed to keep thinking about it and trying to figure out why you were betrayed like that, and how badly you were duped into thinking a relationship was one thing when it really wasn't, and how all that swims around in your head like a stew of disgusting leftovers, really makes grudge-nursing a truly inefficient way to live internally.
But it was there, and I was working on it, but wasn't really gaining any freedom from it.
So all this external stuff and all this internal stuff.
And I got to the cottage and laid down and thought I might never be able to get up again.
Except my first 10 hour sleep later I did. And made a cup of tea and sat out on the deck and begged my way through Psalm 91. All five, gasping, life-saving weeks of it.
She who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty, it begins. And so began a new learning. Learning to dwell, live in, God, like He is my house.
I came home and everything was different. Like, completely different. It was like the insanity quotient for the year had run out, and now I was in the sane part. I know that's not true. I have had times when the insanity just keeps coming. But 2013, totally divided.
I sat in the sunshine in August by the pond near the church and read in preparation for Christmas sermons. I completed another credit towards my MDiv, mostly sitting outside in the courtyard at the school. In leading Highview, I was able to map out weeks in advance and watch in wonder as everything got checked off my lists, almost every week.
Issues that loomed as enormous threats before I had left for the cottage came to surprising and peaceful resolutions. Our church parking lot expansion project got done - finally!!
I got to visit Thailand all by myself for two weeks in October, and came to a new appreciation for the deep synthesis of my life story with my Thai family's story in a way that feels like only God could have been part of it.
Because of the sanity, Christmas was a joy, well planned, simplified and truly worshipful. Probably the best Christmas I can remember in eight years. I am still filled up from it, in deep, deep places of my soul.
I was able to let go of what was and accept what is in regards to my grandbabies. Love them so much it scares me, and the time we had together when they were so young will forever bind us. But it's okay now that they live in a different house. And for the first time in a long time I experienced a release from the hurts I'd been holding onto. I finally gave myself permission to set them free. And it's working. And there's so much more space in my heart now for good and beautiful thoughts instead.
Life still happened, but not to the extreme. Nobody got really sick. Nobody died.
And then last night, surrounded by some of the best people on the planet, I got to dance with undignified joy and count in and pray over the New Year.
And there's no secret to this. I'm just saying this is how it went. Because that's how 2013 was. Psalm 91 was not a magic spell that changed a bad year into a good year. I could have come home to more of the same and be writing a very different ending to this blog. But I didn't, and I'm grateful.
And God is good either way.
Because either way He is my dwelling. And sane or insane, my life is His. Strange year this.
A divided year. But clearly I have God's undivided attention.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Friday, December 20, 2013
Open Letter to the Incredible People of Highview
December 2013
Dearest Friends,
What is it about Christmas that deepens my
affections for each one of you?
Maybe it’s the sweetness of the season as
expressed to one another in cards and gifts and Christmas hugs, and just how
the place looks so warm and fabulous this time of year.
Could be the love and sweat poured into preparing
for Let It Be Christmas, now in its sixth season, and how this has
become a kind of portal between the astonishing story of the Nativity and so
many who don’t know Him in our city.
Maybe it’s how we’ve let our hearts grow
bigger for God in reaching out to God-cherished people in our own backyard this
year, and the way this is playing out in not-at-all-random acts of compassion
over the holidays. Perhaps it’s the
stories of how families and individuals at Highview have opened their homes and
their hearts to welcome those in need, living out the radical truths of Isaiah
58 and Matthew 25 in quiet, unassuming ways.
Or how quickly we were able to get the funds
to get a stove for Yupa for Christmas.
I know for sure our shared losses this year
are making this a bitter-sweet Christmas for me. While we celebrate and wonder at what it
would be like to be “Home for Christmas” in Heaven, we grieve deeply with the
families of Dale Brown, George Duff,
and Jonathan Webb; for them and for our own sense of painful separation from
these we loved. Grief-pain has a way of
deepening everything, including our bonds with one another.
Whatever is it I know it is deep and profound
and makes me grateful for you in ways I find poorly articulated in these
far-less-than-adequate words.
I can only hope that in some way I could be
found worthy of being part of this uniquely beautiful and gifted and
Spirit-filled and generous community of grace called Highview Community
Church.
So, this Christmas, I pray God’s deepest
peace be brought to your deepest longing; His brightest light to shine on your
darkest path, and His abundant grace to cover your most desperate need.
Whatever God brings to us in 2014, it’s ours
to do together.
With affection that grows deeper all the
time,
Ruth Anne
Here
is the man whose name is the Branch,
And he will branch
out from his place and build the temple of the Lord.
Zechariah 6:12
You also, like living
stones, are being built into a spiritual house
to be a holy
priesthood,
offering spiritual sacrifices
acceptable to God
through Jesus Christ.
1 Peter 2:5
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Godscapes
http://highviewtothailand.blogspot.ca/2013/10/the-delight-of-ordinary-saturday.html
Back from Thailand.
Body. Mind. Soul. That's the order.
So I should clarify. My body is back. My mind is almost here. My soul....that will take some time.
It used to unsettle me, this gradual return. Feels like I'm in two places at once, a kind of jet-lag of the heart. Can't stop the translator in my head. Feeling cold, and way too dry. Enjoying Western comforts but missing Eastern simplicities. Hungry for rice and Yupa's cooking. Sort of a misty in-between. Wake up in orientation mode. Glad to be home, but full of longings.
Now I just let it happen. Soon enough the whole of me will be here again. Just takes time.
I've not been off line. The link above will take you to one of many posts in the Highview to Thailand blog we set up several trips ago. That's a report kind of blog. It's here I'll do some unpacking. It helps my soul get home.
Here are some random shots to get me started.
And so I sort out the pictures as I sort out myself.
Even so. This has probably been the best return ever. Easiest travel, there and back. Easiest transition home, as gradual as it will be.
Caught of glimpse of God's sovereign complexity and loving simplicity this time.
Hard to describe, but it has to do with the fact that at age 11 I first felt a tug towards SE Asia. The church I grew up in was very globally-minded, and I was introduced to this part of the world through a visiting missionary. Turns out I didn't go. Not then, not even as a young adult, back then. But 40 years later, when I finally did, it was 'just in time' to hook up with these incredible people called Suradet and Yupa.
Their own story and time line matches perfectly with mine. Their urgent prayers for help being answered in concert with my own for Highview's direction in Region's Beyond. Their need being matched with my access to resources. Their example of radical hospitality lining up with my need for exactly this kind of hero. Their love providing precisely what this 11 year old so desperately needed.
Perfect timing. Perfect match.
Sometimes you find yourself involved in something so wild and beautiful it could only be God.
I have no idea why God has lavished such things upon me. I only hope to be a worthy steward of such a gift as this.
Back from Thailand.
Body. Mind. Soul. That's the order.
So I should clarify. My body is back. My mind is almost here. My soul....that will take some time.
It used to unsettle me, this gradual return. Feels like I'm in two places at once, a kind of jet-lag of the heart. Can't stop the translator in my head. Feeling cold, and way too dry. Enjoying Western comforts but missing Eastern simplicities. Hungry for rice and Yupa's cooking. Sort of a misty in-between. Wake up in orientation mode. Glad to be home, but full of longings.
Now I just let it happen. Soon enough the whole of me will be here again. Just takes time.
I've not been off line. The link above will take you to one of many posts in the Highview to Thailand blog we set up several trips ago. That's a report kind of blog. It's here I'll do some unpacking. It helps my soul get home.
Here are some random shots to get me started.
 |
| Kratae, Bouy and Da, silly and happy. |
 |
| Thim who's off to university and taller than me! |
 |
| Eg whose smile is completely enchanting. |
 |
| Frogs, seasoned and gutted on display at the market. |
 |
| The butcher from whom we bought our pork for the pig roast. |
 | |||||
| Yupa and her Mom who runs a noodle shop out of her home in her small village, close to Hot Springs. |
 |
| Fun time at the pig roast. A special party night! |
 |
| The boy's table is a happening place! |
 |
| A bag of corn puff-like treats. With 19 children you buy stuff in bulk! |
 |
| Someone who landed for a quick visit on the dining room table. In Thai the word for butterfly translates literally as "ghost shirt". |
 | ||
| Yupa's barely functioning stove that we'll try to replace for Christmas. Some of the best Thai food on the planet comes from this kitchen! |
 |
| Sending off the older ones to school. L to R Boy, Apple, Miki, Fruk, Me, Somchai. Hard to believe Somchai was up to my shoulders when I first met him 5 years ago. |
 | |
| Just one of Yupa's many amazing orchids. |
 | |||
| Suradet heading over to hang up laundry. A little out of a traditional Thai role, but this couple is hardly conventional to begin with. Everyone pitches in wherever needed. |
Even so. This has probably been the best return ever. Easiest travel, there and back. Easiest transition home, as gradual as it will be.
Caught of glimpse of God's sovereign complexity and loving simplicity this time.
Hard to describe, but it has to do with the fact that at age 11 I first felt a tug towards SE Asia. The church I grew up in was very globally-minded, and I was introduced to this part of the world through a visiting missionary. Turns out I didn't go. Not then, not even as a young adult, back then. But 40 years later, when I finally did, it was 'just in time' to hook up with these incredible people called Suradet and Yupa.
Their own story and time line matches perfectly with mine. Their urgent prayers for help being answered in concert with my own for Highview's direction in Region's Beyond. Their need being matched with my access to resources. Their example of radical hospitality lining up with my need for exactly this kind of hero. Their love providing precisely what this 11 year old so desperately needed.
Perfect timing. Perfect match.
Sometimes you find yourself involved in something so wild and beautiful it could only be God.
I have no idea why God has lavished such things upon me. I only hope to be a worthy steward of such a gift as this.
Monday, October 21, 2013
Tomorrow!!
Can't wait to see my girl Thim, already in university, learning to be an English teacher!
Tomorrow. Plane leaves 12:15 p.m. Leaving house by 7:30. Ken's going to drive me to the airport this time. I'm so ready. Bags are full of gifts from Sponsors and others who want to send as much love as the baggage allowances permit!
Wondering what God has in mind this time? Can't wait to find out.
Monday, September 23, 2013
Anything But A Whim
It's been there since I was eleven and it's never left me. It's as
much a part of me as any earliest childhood memory, any earliest sense
of identity, any first sense of calling. This deep that calls to deep
is as much a part of me as is the colour of my skin. This magnetic pull
to Asia is hardly new.
It looks new. In fact, before our first trip in 2008, I had never been anywhere that required a passport. I hadn't experienced any culture but my own. Never been really all that far away from home. Hawaii doesn't count. Wonderful place. Totally western, really, and everywhere it's about the tourists, so.
I think in those in between years, between 11 and 51, my soul forgot about Asia. Somehow we forgot all about that earliest of callings. I got busy getting married and having children and watching God unfold a ministry life I honestly never really set out to do. But there I was, minding my Father's business, more or less, and the unfolding kept unfolding itself all the way back to half way around the world.
And now?
I think that if you lived in a house for your whole life, and suddenly one day discovered a door you'd never known was there before. And if you were more curious than you were afraid, and you opened that door. And if you stepped into a room completely different from the rest of the house, but full of colour and sound and smell and love and wonder. Then it would probably be like what it's like for me to know and be known by my Thai family.
The ministry there, at Hot Springs, is one that welcomes orphaned children into lives of sustenance and hope and love. And for some unexplainable reason, it seems I have been adopted too. And God is unfolding something there for me. And I have so much more to learn and receive.
So I'm going by myself this fall. In about four weeks, actually. From October 22 to November 3. Just me. I am so looking forward to going with the Team again next March and for all God would want to do through our ESL Day Camp and any other opportunities to love and serve not just our kids but the neighbourhood around them. But this trip is just for me.
I am grateful for how Highview gets it. How they let me go sometimes by myself like this. I hope it's because they receive the benefits of a pastor who, bit by bit, understands more of God's whole-earth heart, and brings back something more than she left with.
It looks new. In fact, before our first trip in 2008, I had never been anywhere that required a passport. I hadn't experienced any culture but my own. Never been really all that far away from home. Hawaii doesn't count. Wonderful place. Totally western, really, and everywhere it's about the tourists, so.
I think in those in between years, between 11 and 51, my soul forgot about Asia. Somehow we forgot all about that earliest of callings. I got busy getting married and having children and watching God unfold a ministry life I honestly never really set out to do. But there I was, minding my Father's business, more or less, and the unfolding kept unfolding itself all the way back to half way around the world.
And now?
I think that if you lived in a house for your whole life, and suddenly one day discovered a door you'd never known was there before. And if you were more curious than you were afraid, and you opened that door. And if you stepped into a room completely different from the rest of the house, but full of colour and sound and smell and love and wonder. Then it would probably be like what it's like for me to know and be known by my Thai family.
The ministry there, at Hot Springs, is one that welcomes orphaned children into lives of sustenance and hope and love. And for some unexplainable reason, it seems I have been adopted too. And God is unfolding something there for me. And I have so much more to learn and receive.
So I'm going by myself this fall. In about four weeks, actually. From October 22 to November 3. Just me. I am so looking forward to going with the Team again next March and for all God would want to do through our ESL Day Camp and any other opportunities to love and serve not just our kids but the neighbourhood around them. But this trip is just for me.
I am grateful for how Highview gets it. How they let me go sometimes by myself like this. I hope it's because they receive the benefits of a pastor who, bit by bit, understands more of God's whole-earth heart, and brings back something more than she left with.
Monday, September 2, 2013
From Forever to Forever
As promised....some pictures from the great-gramma surprise. Four generations of 'Ruth's'. My Mom, Ruth Elaine; me Ruth Anne; my daughter, Kristyn Ruth, and my granddaughter, Abby Ruth.
And it all just reinforces what I've been meditating on of late.
Praise be to you O LORD
God of our father Israel,
from everlasting to everlasting.
1 Chronicles 29:10
This is only a small piece of a bigger prayer King David prayed at the beginning of something very important for the people of God - the building of the Temple. And while the broader portion brings rich imagery and lots to ponder, it's this 'everlasting' bit that's caught my attention this morning.
"From forever to forever" is the more literal translation from the Hebrew. Either way, it's a long time. A long time to be God.
The eternal nature of God is beyond our understanding as finite beings. For us, everything has a beginning and everything has an end. At least in our physical realm. But spiritually, we have the opportunity to unite ourselves with this Eternal Being. And when we do, everything changes. Time itself takes on entirely new dimensions. What seems so urgent isn't so urgent. Priorities realign themselves.
Even my own safety, my security, is altered in this timeless reality. For is God is love and He is for me, then in every circumstance that has come before and every circumstance I will face ahead, and even in this moment, no matter how I'm experiencing it, Eternal God is right here, right 'now'. And as I remember what has happened before, the hard times especially, but also the joyful, Eternal God was right there, right then. And as I look ahead, Eternal God will be right there, right then.
I'm a summer girl. And summer is unofficially over starting tomorrow. Right now in my daily responsibilities there are some significant adjustments required with some potentially challenging unknowns ahead. Standing on this particular threshold, I could feel anxious.
But today, at least, I am not. There is a forever God watching over this entire process called my life. And bigger than that, everything that seems so enormous and important to me is framed within God's broader plans and purposes. His forever purposes.
My Mom's 86. I'm 56. My daughter's 31. Abby's 7. And God is forever watching over us all. Time dimensions.
And it all just reinforces what I've been meditating on of late.
Praise be to you O LORD
God of our father Israel,
from everlasting to everlasting.
1 Chronicles 29:10
This is only a small piece of a bigger prayer King David prayed at the beginning of something very important for the people of God - the building of the Temple. And while the broader portion brings rich imagery and lots to ponder, it's this 'everlasting' bit that's caught my attention this morning.
"From forever to forever" is the more literal translation from the Hebrew. Either way, it's a long time. A long time to be God.
The eternal nature of God is beyond our understanding as finite beings. For us, everything has a beginning and everything has an end. At least in our physical realm. But spiritually, we have the opportunity to unite ourselves with this Eternal Being. And when we do, everything changes. Time itself takes on entirely new dimensions. What seems so urgent isn't so urgent. Priorities realign themselves.
Even my own safety, my security, is altered in this timeless reality. For is God is love and He is for me, then in every circumstance that has come before and every circumstance I will face ahead, and even in this moment, no matter how I'm experiencing it, Eternal God is right here, right 'now'. And as I remember what has happened before, the hard times especially, but also the joyful, Eternal God was right there, right then. And as I look ahead, Eternal God will be right there, right then.
I'm a summer girl. And summer is unofficially over starting tomorrow. Right now in my daily responsibilities there are some significant adjustments required with some potentially challenging unknowns ahead. Standing on this particular threshold, I could feel anxious.
But today, at least, I am not. There is a forever God watching over this entire process called my life. And bigger than that, everything that seems so enormous and important to me is framed within God's broader plans and purposes. His forever purposes.
My Mom's 86. I'm 56. My daughter's 31. Abby's 7. And God is forever watching over us all. Time dimensions.
Thursday, August 22, 2013
A Week of Marking Milestones
Milestone One - 35 Years
Niagara Falls. Perhaps a bit cliche but it's where Ken and I both wanted to go for a quick getaway to celebrate our 35th wedding anniversary. August 19, 1978. Wow.
We couldn't have asked for better weather. Perfect re-summer weekend (Sunday-Monday) with lots of walking along the Falls and through spectacular Queen Victoria park. Dinner at Rainforest Cafe (just for the fun of it) on Sunday night. Tiny bit of shopping for the grandkids, just because. Bought myself a pair of just-a-bit-of-bling sunglasses for $5.00, and a stylin' straw sunhat because I hadn't thought to bring one with me.
But the best moments didn't have so much to do with where we were or what we were doing as much as it was about what we were saying to each other. All throughout the weekend our conversation kept coming back to our deep awe and astonished gratitude for God's fierce faithfulness to hold us together and keep us together for three and a half decades. We recounted the many and varied challenges our marriage has had to contend with. We remembered out loud several points of parenting, both the happy and not so. We marveled at outcomes we would never have dreamed possible in the midst of the darkest chapters. As we walked and sat on benches under trees and beside fountains, we remembered together. All day.
And we prayed. That's how we started the day actually, on Monday, the 19th. We just sat together by the window in our hotel room and spoke out loud with each other our thankfulness and our need for Him to keep on being very God in the midst of us. Because we can't do these next 35 years without Him.
And we ate chocolate and ice cream, Ken and I respectively :).
Milestone Two - Long Awaited Closure
Tomorrow is the closing date on a piece of family property I have co-owned with another family member for about 25 years. Before that it belonged to my mother, and before that it belonged to my mother's uncle. It was lakefront, in the Kawarthas, and adjacent to the cottage property where I spent my childhood summers. Should have been a wonderful thing. It wasn't.
There are lots of reasons why a particular place becomes negatively associated in one's mind, and it has very little to do with the physicality of it. Just....over time and for various reasons my desire to be released from this place has grown in intensity. For some time it seemed I would never be free. Complicating circumstances, overriding responsibilities, property lines and easements and disputes. Sad. Just a beautiful place, but it just wouldn't go gracefully. I prayed so hard it could be called begging. Three years, this last slog of it.
Then suddenly this summer, an offer, an agreement, signatures, and it's done. Yesterday I signed it officially away. It feels like something dead and heavy that I'd been dragging around by a filthy cord tied to my ankle has been cut off. I am running!
We intend to use our portion of the money from the sale for redemptive, compassionate purposes. Seems like the poetry of justice to do so.
Milestone Three - Mom's Birthday
I'm surprising her. With me, when I head to Lakefield this coming Sunday afternoon, will be two of Mom's now five great-grandchildren, plus their mother. She hasn't seen any of them in three years. Abby remembers Great Gramma, but Zachary, not so much. He's such a big boy now. Mom will be amazed, delighted. At least I really hope so.
It's a long drive but we intend to shamelessly utilize the DVD player in the van and numb out the kids for the duration. We'll stay overnight, have a birthday picnic in the park the next day, and then head home again.
Pictures to follow.
All of these markings are making for something of a whirlwind week, with lots of time driving. Even so, my spirit remains in a state of restedness and calm, something I've been happy and grateful to realize has lingered this past month home from the cottage.
Niagara Falls. Perhaps a bit cliche but it's where Ken and I both wanted to go for a quick getaway to celebrate our 35th wedding anniversary. August 19, 1978. Wow.
We couldn't have asked for better weather. Perfect re-summer weekend (Sunday-Monday) with lots of walking along the Falls and through spectacular Queen Victoria park. Dinner at Rainforest Cafe (just for the fun of it) on Sunday night. Tiny bit of shopping for the grandkids, just because. Bought myself a pair of just-a-bit-of-bling sunglasses for $5.00, and a stylin' straw sunhat because I hadn't thought to bring one with me.
But the best moments didn't have so much to do with where we were or what we were doing as much as it was about what we were saying to each other. All throughout the weekend our conversation kept coming back to our deep awe and astonished gratitude for God's fierce faithfulness to hold us together and keep us together for three and a half decades. We recounted the many and varied challenges our marriage has had to contend with. We remembered out loud several points of parenting, both the happy and not so. We marveled at outcomes we would never have dreamed possible in the midst of the darkest chapters. As we walked and sat on benches under trees and beside fountains, we remembered together. All day.
And we prayed. That's how we started the day actually, on Monday, the 19th. We just sat together by the window in our hotel room and spoke out loud with each other our thankfulness and our need for Him to keep on being very God in the midst of us. Because we can't do these next 35 years without Him.
And we ate chocolate and ice cream, Ken and I respectively :).
Milestone Two - Long Awaited Closure
Tomorrow is the closing date on a piece of family property I have co-owned with another family member for about 25 years. Before that it belonged to my mother, and before that it belonged to my mother's uncle. It was lakefront, in the Kawarthas, and adjacent to the cottage property where I spent my childhood summers. Should have been a wonderful thing. It wasn't.
There are lots of reasons why a particular place becomes negatively associated in one's mind, and it has very little to do with the physicality of it. Just....over time and for various reasons my desire to be released from this place has grown in intensity. For some time it seemed I would never be free. Complicating circumstances, overriding responsibilities, property lines and easements and disputes. Sad. Just a beautiful place, but it just wouldn't go gracefully. I prayed so hard it could be called begging. Three years, this last slog of it.
Then suddenly this summer, an offer, an agreement, signatures, and it's done. Yesterday I signed it officially away. It feels like something dead and heavy that I'd been dragging around by a filthy cord tied to my ankle has been cut off. I am running!
We intend to use our portion of the money from the sale for redemptive, compassionate purposes. Seems like the poetry of justice to do so.
Milestone Three - Mom's Birthday
I'm surprising her. With me, when I head to Lakefield this coming Sunday afternoon, will be two of Mom's now five great-grandchildren, plus their mother. She hasn't seen any of them in three years. Abby remembers Great Gramma, but Zachary, not so much. He's such a big boy now. Mom will be amazed, delighted. At least I really hope so.
It's a long drive but we intend to shamelessly utilize the DVD player in the van and numb out the kids for the duration. We'll stay overnight, have a birthday picnic in the park the next day, and then head home again.
Pictures to follow.
All of these markings are making for something of a whirlwind week, with lots of time driving. Even so, my spirit remains in a state of restedness and calm, something I've been happy and grateful to realize has lingered this past month home from the cottage.
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