One Treasure At A Time: Entorn (Happy Birthday)

I'm trying to imagine what it would be like to be an introvert plonked into a family of 15 kids?

Personally, I like my time alone. When the intensities of peopledom overwhelm me, as they do from time to time, I need my solitude. Just let me be quiet so that I can recharge. Even during my kid-purposed trip to Thailand last month, and even with my heart fully engaged in getting to know these amazing children better, I was glad to have a separate room, a separate space to retreat to when I needed it. I like my alone time. I need my alone time.

I'm pretty sure Entorn and I have this in common. In the picture above, Entorn is the boy in the black and yellow shirt, furthest to the left and half hidden by Somchai in front. Looking through the photos I've brought back, I notice this to be a common feature of the group shots. Entorn is often "in the background".

The oldest of all the children, Entorn is the 14 year old "older brother" to all those wonderful, but talkative siblings. He's quiet, and doesn't smile easily, to be honest. In larger groups, he seems a little at odds with himself. At Wiang Pa Pao, when the Hot Springs kids were at the retreat, I noticed he didn't join in on the singing at all, sort of kept to himself, even though there were plenty of other boys his age there.

By the time we were back at Hot Springs, though, some of that did change. The singing part, at least. During morning and evening devotions, he participated with an energy I hadn't seen in the larger group. And throughout the week while I was there, I certainly did observe him interacting in big brother kinds of ways with the other boys. He seemed to be really into the balsa wood airplanes I'd brought to assemble and paint.

I'm not sure what he made of me. Who was this lady from Canada with the markers and wood crafts and random candy? What's with the crying that day she arrived? Why is she taking so many pictures of our chickens? I'm sure he wondered. I wish I could have known for sure what his questions would be, talked more, kibbitz'd more. I wanted to know him as much as the others, so I tried.

At home, I confess, I am sometimes at a loss to know how to express my friendly intentions towards boys Entorn's age. Already there's a culture difference, even in my own world. But here, with the language and the culture being so out of my league, how on earth would a 51 year old white woman be able to make friends with this northern Thai adolescent?

I'm not sure I did. Eventually, I did learn to ask for Entorn's assistance any time there was a task that required some physical strength. That helped. I remember one time in particular when a candy bag was being stubborn, and I caught his eye, showed him I couldn't open it, and handed it to him.

With one two fisted tug he got the bag open, handed back to me....smiling! It was the only time I was able to sustain eye contact with him. He was so pleased to have done something I was too weak to do. And I don't think he minded the candy either.

I had such a short time there, really. I realize that more and more now that I'm back. There's so much more I would want to do and learn and know; so much further I would hope to go in making connections with each and every child. But I didn't push. Certainly not with Entorn.

Here's a sobering consideration. If Hot Springs as an orphan home is barely 2 years old, and Entorn is 14, what was happening for him for the first 12 years of his life that could make him reluctant? His bio explains that both his parents are dead and that for a time he lived with his grandmother, until she was no longer able to care for him. He's from the Karen tribe, a minority with little status in Thai culture. How much living has gone on before this to make him wary of me, I wonder? Wary of everyone?

It's part of the knowing that bothers me. I expose my heart to so much sadness when I love them. Entorn is a reclaimed life because of Asia's Hope, and for all the future potential, we can celebrate and be hopeful.

But there is a life already lived that informs the one being played out now. And it's not a nice story. Not for Entorn. Not for any of our kids.

We have no idea.

Entorn's birthday is December 6th. To be honest, because I didn't ask for birth years, I'm actually not sure if he's turning 14 or 15 on Sunday. I'm going to ask Suradet. Either way....Happy Birthday Entorn. May every birthday from here on be a celebration of all you will become, and all God will reclaim from where you've been.

I miss him. I miss them all.