Honestly!

I'm pretty sure I need to work on being more honest. I think. Maybe.

As New Year's Eve arrives, and with it that wonderful opportunity for some contemplative meditations and stuff, and given some recent relational reflections that are coming into focus for me....yes....I'm thinking about relational honesty and how it may be that some of my relationships have been lacking. My bad. Or is it?

While I like to consider myself a truth-telling person, I'm certainly not ready to rush into the kind of honesty that just "tells it like it is". Sometimes it feels like I should be good at frank, honest speech, given my age (some of my friends call this "old and bold") and the kind of work I do, where relationships of integrity are essential. But I've been the victim of other people's "honesty" and it's not been pleasant. I bear scars. I have also, from time to time, tended to the wounds of others who have been damaged by "honesty".

Add to this sense of woundedness, is this fact that I keep running into this "others' focused" kinds of teachings in the Bible that seem to encourage me to keep quiet. Like "A man's wisdom give him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense." Proverbs 19:11

And, as my wise friend Erin reminds me, I am grateful for those in my life who've overlooked MY offenses!

Then there's the cultural consideration that my limited exposure to South East Asia provides me. In Thailand there is no such thing as "relational honesty" as we understand it in North America. Respect and deference are the primary values. One would never insult and violate another by confronting someone about an offense directly. Any corrective word needs to go through another. That's respectful. "Relational honesty" is incredibly rude in that context. Are they right and we're wrong?

So....I'm curious. How do I practice honesty AND overlook an offense?

Any ideas?

I'd appreciate your honest feed back :).