Calendar Calm

There's something about September that requires a fresh new calendar.  And there's something about a fresh new calendar that makes me very, very happy.

I mean, just look at all those clear open spaces, smiling and ready to receive the appointments, due dates and events that make life rich and meaningful.  Neat squares, systematically lined up, mapping out all the possibilities of a brand new season.  Clarity, order, purpose.  What's there not to love?

In fact, I love calendars so much that my husband used to claim that if I saw an open day with nothing written on it, my hand would shake until I could find something to add.

Never mind that he's like that with clean open spaces in our house.  And never mind that I wouldn't ever write something on the calendar with a shaky hand and risk making it look messy!  I mean, really!

Still, upon honest reflection of calendars gone by, he was right on.  But it wasn't about an obsession with calendars, actually.  It was about an obsession with 'doing'.  It was about finding it hard to say 'no'.  About workaholism and insecurities and lack of self-control.  And lack of self.

Having a lot on the calendar had a way of making me feel important and needed.  True thing.  Without ever having thought it through, in my gut I believed that only selfish, lazy losers had 'empty' calendars.  'Empty' being a relative term.

That was a while, and a few hard lessons ago, however.  These days my calendar is calmer.  There are open spaces....on purpose!  Yes!  I'll show them to you if you like.  Mondays are my Sabbath when I rest and play and be quiet with God in longer, unhurried ways.  Thursdays have recently become my 'no meeting' days when I can dig down into the part of my job that requires quiet concentration and deeper reflection.  For the most part, evenings are left untouched to allow for the simplicity of just being at home with my husband. 

Psalm 90:12 says, "Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom."

The bigger context of the psalm speaks, in part, about understanding God as being where you live.  Our dwelling place.  I don't think there were wall calendars around back then, but the overall concept is the same.  And as someone who needs all the wisdom she can get, I welcome God's continued teaching on this, particularly as I am increasingly experiencing a deeper calm the more I give myself the time to be 'home' in Him.

It's the beginning of September, so my calendars look pretty sweet right now.  Yes, predictably, the unexpected will arrive and mess up all the well laid out plans to varying degrees throughout the season to come.  All the more reason to have the calm, empty spaces marked off, both to be the buffer, and to provide the stored-up reserves to face the challenges with more serenity.

Now, if we can just get the basement cleaned out.   I think I'll go put that on the calendar.