Empty House, Full Heart

I arrived home from the airport on Thursday, and the house just felt so cold and empty.  I'll adjust.  Ken and I enjoy our simple, quiet evenings of these empty nesting years very much.

But in these days immediately following three weeks of three extra people, laughing, talking, singing, cooking, praying, marveling and being family together, there's that sense of something missing.  I feel it in my throat. 

But before that?  Oh such fun!  A 'second Christmas' dinner with friends.  A flute recital.  Building the snowman and making snow angels.  The most enthusiastic snow-shovelers anywhere in Canada!  Skiing, thanks to the skillful generosity of Linda and family.  Skating thanks to Nick and Colin and friends.  A trip to the CN Tower.  A day with Dave just doing 'fun stuff' we do in winter.  A sweet and gentle visit with Mom.  Learning to place our Tim's order in English, and being understood and actually getting what you ordered!  Important meetings at Tyndale (in preparation for my three month education sabbatical where Suradet will be my supervisor).  Hot Springs Sponsors' appreciation dessert with sticky rice and mangoes (thanks Ian!).  Many meals to many welcoming homes, thanks so very much!  Movies and bus rides and tobogganing for Boy. 

So many memories.  I'll be processing this for some time, I think.

But mostly right now, here in these empty, tight-throated days, I am in danger of merely repeating what is anything but merely in my heart.  Futile attempts to try to describe my dizzying gratitude for this astonishing, and thoroughly surprising gift of loving and being loved, knowing and being known, of deep community that somehow, miraculously really, has come about between us.  Who could have orchestrated such a thing?  Who could have written such a story? 

Only a God Who's plans are this perfect, Who's timing is this impeccable, Who's love is this big.

 It's only five weeks until I am with them again.  I thought that would make this good bye easier.  It didn't.

[Many more pictures to follow.]

A Three-Month Educational Sabbatcal for 2015

It is with great excitement and not a small amount of gratitude that I would like to let you in on an adventure brewing for me in the coming year.

The Elders of Highview Community Church where I serve as senior pastor have granted me a three month educational sabbatical that will take place in Thailand in the fall of 2015. 

The idea is at least two years old already, beginning first with conversations with my husband Ken and moving from there to discussing the possibilities with my broader family, Highview's Elders and leaders, trusted friends and advisers, the people who make these things happen at my seminary Tyndale, and the folks who will host me in Thailand. 

In all this process I have been encouraged, supported and released to explore this kind of learning experience, and to see what God might want to do with it in the bigger pictures of my own life, and the ministry He is so clearly blessing, both at Highview and at Hot Springs. 

To fill out the picture just a little, let me explain how the pieces have been fitting together to make this a solid idea for this season of my life.

Academically, I have for a long time pursued my goals in and around the other responsibilities of my life.  There seems to be an open window right now to allow these next steps toward the completion of my MDiv to take priority.  To be clear, I will not be finished school as a result of this educational sabbatical.  However, my program requires a 'pastoral internship' that is supposed to stretch me beyond what I already know and do.  Three months 'shadow-pastoring' in another culture certainly fits that criteria.  I will also pursue a 'directed reading' credit while there, in order to make the most of this educational opportunity.

On the home front, Ken is beyond amazing in his ability to not only release me to this kind of adventure, but also grasp his own role in the bigger story God is writing in our lives as a couple and as followers of Jesus.  The almost 20 years and counting of elder-care we have carried together has moved into a somewhat lighter scenario that would easily sustain my absence for three months.  Same in regards to our children and grandchildren. 

And as for Highview, well.  It is my expectation, as well as the Elders' fundamental understanding, that this experience will send home a better pastor than is sent out.   Plus, Highview has deeply invested, highly capable leaders, both in our paid Staff and in our extraordinary Volunteers, who daily provide direction, care and support for all that we know to be the mission of our faith community.  Three months will go by so fast!

On a deeper note, this whole thing feels to me like it was 46 years in the making. And while I would not want to make more of this than what really is, I can't escape the fact that at the age of 11 I felt so strangely drawn to a part of the world so out of reach then and so deeply part of my soul now, one might almost be tempted to use the world 'calling'.  Make no mistake, I belong here, in Canada, with my husband and family and church.  We're only talking three months.  But it seems to me such an astonishing, full-circle gift to be able to do this, and I cannot pass it up.

There are still a few steps that need to be accomplished before all the plans are final.  My learning proposal, while verbally confirmed, needs to be officially submitted and approved.  A visa needs to be obtained.  Solid dates need to be set.  Tickets need to be purchased.  But for now, all systems are go and I am actively moving toward a September departure.

Meanwhile, 2015 has begun, and with it a whole slew of adventures for every one of us, as we set ourselves to the joy of living each day for all its worth.