The Happy Aha!

 

Ken does it better than I do.  Louder and more exuberant.  It’s that noise you make when you discover something you’ve either been looking for specifically, or – and this is the better one – something you forgot about but are really happy to remember you have.  It might also be exclaimed when something fits into a very defined space exactly the way you need it to.

 We’ve been doing a lot of happy ahas in these days of unpacking and renesting.  For Ken it’s finding that one tool, or the way the counter top fits snugly against the wall…even after he’s installed the plumbing.  For me it’s how my books are finding good spaces on the shelves available.  And then, today, how I was able to fit all my pashminas into the basket…the one I said while wincing, “Whatever doesn’t fit in here must go.”

 Aha!

 For someone who admittedly owns a ridiculous amount of both books and pashminas, these are very satisfying moments in the midst of never knowing how the new smaller space will receive what you hope it will.  We did some mighty purging when we emptied our previous house.  We’re doing some more now.  And while I didn’t have to part with any pashminas, I have prioritized and then donated another load of books.  When we get around to hanging pictures, I’m pretty sure we’ll be doing more of the same.

 

But all this leads me to another kind of happy aha, and that’s when you realize you’re making your way through a difficult time and you’re mostly okay.  And by mostly okay, I mean giving yourself all kinds of room to be in these moments, embrace the places of challenge and change, and let it be okay that things aren’t normal, even when that’s what every fibre in your unnested being is longing for.   It’s the happy aha of understanding that these past months of the journey, while long and uncertain, have revealed places of goodness and healing that wouldn’t have been noticed otherwise.   It’s the happy aha of finding out for reals that it’s not stuff or square footage or any geographical space that makes a home.  It’s the Presence of a God who promises to BE home, always and no matter what (Psalm 91).  And it’s knowing that, a previous version of yourself, would have not been able to see any of this, not have managed this well at all.  So – aha – some growth!

Not a bad way to begin a New Year.

No, we don’t have permission to sleep here quite yet.  And anyways, appliances don’t arrive until Saturday, so.  For now, on to more nesting.