The Outlandish Possibilities of a Not-As-Planned Christmas

 

I'll say it right up front. A green Christmas is way easier for anyone travelling to family gatherings. So there's that.

And.

I am in that category of people who prefers a white Christmas.

Looking at the weather forecasts for this week before the 'Big Day', I can't quite tell what it's going to be. Some snow today? Overnight? But probably not enough to sustain a bit of rain predicted for later in the week? Any sleet or ice? Oh my, let's not have a repeat of last Christmas Eve!

So you see how it goes. I want snow, but kind of 'made to order.' The 'on-cue', harmless fluffy stuff sometimes referred to as 'Hollywood snow.' Yes. That would make for a 'perfect' Christmas.

And of course, when I write it all out like that, it's so obvious that the weather is completely out of my control. I can put up the sign and the antique sled on my porch, and then wait in eager anticipation. But the outcome is way beyond my pay grade.

Thing is, if I'm not careful, I can start to think about other Christmas expectations, and how I want all that to be 'perfect' too. Am I the only one? And is it just Christmas that provokes this desire for everything to be 'just so?'

Yet so much of what I am hoping for is really not my job, and not at all within my power to make happen, even as I strive to make it so. No amount of exquisite planning (something I am lacking this year, by the way) can 'make' people respond the way I am hoping, or solve the problems that might encroach on our Christmas happiness, or....whatever else it is that is going to mess with my 'Hollywood snow' vignette.

And actually, to take it to another level, that's not at all how I want to live. Not at Christmas. Not at all.

The very first Christmas has as a pivotal point in the story that is a moment of completely the opposite. If the human tendency is to attempt to control our environments in order to suit ourselves, then Mary demonstrates a complete about-face. A moment of all-out, hands-open, heart-surrendered release. This young girl, with her future basically mapped out in front of her, about to be launched into her adult life, hears God's outlandish plans for her, risks it all and says:

"I am the Lord's servant. Be it unto me as you have said."
Luke 1:30

The very first Christmas was about utter abandonment to things
not-as-planned.

These reflections bring much comfort to my not-ready-for-Christmas-according-to-my-type-A-first-born-expectations soul this year. Mary reorients me towards a green Christmas, and all the other ways I haven't been able to engage in the season as I normally love to do.

Don't get me wrong. The house is finally looking Christmassy enough (hence the decor on the porch pictured here). I've been able to simplify gift giving. And - sorry folks - I'm NOT doing Christmas cards this year.

On Sunday at Highview there was such a warm, truly joyful vibe, not just in the service but before and after too; so much part of why I love my faith community so fiercely. And there's still the Let It Be Christmas presentations coming. And our family's gathering plans have fallen into pleasant places. Lots of love there for us, and I do not take that for granted.

So, snow or no, ready or not, Christmas will be all it needs to be, as long as I keep my heart open to all the outlandish possibilities God might want to bring.

Seven Days Between

 

Well, well.

What a week of ambiguity it's been. Here on the dawn of a truly spectacular Sunday morning, I find myself humbled by the reminder that this recent string of events has provided.

"In their hearts humans plan their course,
but the LORD establishes their steps."
Proverbs 16:9

It's been a time to 'put my money where my mouth is' so to speak (or spend), and own up to my convictions that I follow God's lead, not the other way around. Sometimes we pray as if we expect God to do things the way we want them to go. Almost as if we could tell God how to do His job.

But this week has been a 'hands up and open' exercise of faith and trust. Very intimate place to be, by the way. Fully surrendered. To be honest, I have welcomed the 'harsh reality' of pain and human frailty to bring this home again for me. Most of the time I live in relative ease, risking such claims as hollow, or merely just the things 'good Christians' are supposed to say.

This morning I am feeling stronger and more physically functional than I have in days. The only 'packing' I have left to do is all that needs to be left until the last minute anyways. Almost everything is checked off the list.

In just a few hours I'll join the 'online only' service at Highview Community, delivering the sermon about pioneer missionary to Thailand, Daniel McGilvary in the first of a series called "Lives of the Saints."

And yes, you read that right. Online only. Google Meet. We are not meeting in person as a faith community today, and that brings me to the next part of 'humans planning their course' deal.

Many folks in both congregations that met together last Sunday in our two-church service to worship and enjoy a community meal --have since tested positive for COVID. ( It's still a thing, friends.)

One of those is one of our Thailand Team Members, Megan. Yes, this means she's not going to be on the plane with us.

After months of planning and budgeting and eager anticipation.

I'd say 'I can't even', but the truth is I can totally. It's exactly the space I've been all week, waiting to hear reports from tests until got the all clear from my doctor. The disappointment cuts. It's a bit disorienting, truth be told.

And. I commend Megan for her honesty and tenacity in all our conversations yesterday, starting with the first fresh knowledge of her positive test. I'll leave it to her to tell her own story in her own ways. But this is a strong woman.

Then, to all my beautiful peeps at Highview, and also of course to my new friends at Iglesia Jesu es El Salvador, I offer my prayers and love in hopes you will be soon restored to full health. As I heard word this week, and your names came to my attention in the growing list of those affected, my heart felt for every one of you.

What a week it's been indeed.
We never know what lies between the seven days in any given week.
Good thing we know the One who does.

Between a Kidney Stone and a Surrendered Place

 

This picture is not from this morning, although it could be and I wish it was.

Right now I am avoiding too much physical exertion in the attempt to allow my body all the energy it needs to be rid of a teeny little bit of collected minerals wrecking havoc simply by being where they have no business to be. My kidney.

Thursday.

I leave for Thailand on Monday.

I know.

Today is like every other day since I first contacted my doctors (GP and urologist) about the current situation. Waiting for something definitive to happen.

It's a race between three things; the stone passing on its own (I have a good reputation here), hearing back from my doctors' offices for test results and consultation (varying degrees of reputation here), and leaving for the airport at 7 a.m. Monday morning (departure is set for 11:40 a.m. and that's the most-certain of all three things).

At this moment I am doing all that needs doing as if I am going. Of course I am. Bible Lessons planned out. ESL and teaching supplies all packed. Writing all the emails and packing all the materials and getting myself ready for the flight.

And drinking water.
Ridiculous amounts of water.
And resting my body.
And staying calm and positive.

And the last one is only because I believe in a God who loves me and knows everything, and to Whom I've given permission to use me in whatever way He sees fit.

For those of us who sing those songs in church, remember?
"Take my life and let it be, always only all for Thee."
"Where You go I'll go, where You stay I'll stay...I will follow."
"All that I am, I place into Your loving hands, for I am Yours."

Christmas is coming.
Reminds me of what I consider to be some of the most powerful words in all the Bible.
Mary's words.
"I am the Lord's servant. May it be to me as You have said."
Luke 1:48

Echoed by Jesus Himself in Gethsemane.
"Not My will, but Yours be done."
Luke 22:42

No definitive decision has been made yet.
I'll let you know as soon as that happens.
The Team is aware.
Suradet and Yupa are aware.
We're all on standby.
And I feel terrible that it's me putting us all through this.
But also humbled, in a good way.
Humanity is fragile even on our good days.
We just don't always have a "in your face" reality to remind us.

Okay, on to some more of that preparation and packing I was talking about. But first, another long swig.