Suspension

Monday.

That means only two more full days before we return to Canada. That means packing, wrapping up our Bible lessons, making sure we've assessed our English learning, cleaning out the supplies bins, collecting everything the children have made for their Sponsors, preparing the Christmas package that will be opened later, and saying the appropriate goodbyes.

I'm not really fond of this space. I very much want to be fully present here in these last moments. And yet there's lots to pull my attention towards the travel, and whatever plans I can put down in pencil for the first few days back. So back and forth I go, my brain, my heart.

This year it's even worse. Ken and I are still in the midst of our housing transition. We've been welcomed into our son's home (on the same property) and been given ample space. I am so very grateful for all the ways David is stepping up and being amazing and supportive and wonderful. AND. We are still not done this transitional living thing we're doing. And it only adds to that sense of being stretch between things.

Like a bridge. And in these moments that's what I feel the Spirit is reminding me of. Bridges are suspended. And they take you places. From here to there.

So I sit for a moment in this suspended space.

Breathing in.

Breathing out.

Taking the next steps over the gap.

Trusting.

Morning Moments

I'm finding it busy enough this visit. Not unusually so particularly, but still, to keep things moving with our English learning and evening lessons, it's easy to default to task. Easy to miss the moments happening beyond the guest house.

Like morning chores. If you can call it that. The beauty of the sunrise and the singing of the voices make it seem more like gentle fun than grudging task. Even with this all happening before breakfast (which is the smartest time to do it in a tropical climate by the way), there's laughter and song and being very happy to pose for a picture.

I'm glad I walked down today.

From home today I received some initial pictures of the factory-build component of our new home. Very encouraging! And it feels like a grace upon grace to have that happening without me while I'm here, all concentrated on the happy tasks and morning moments, and all the moments I'm given in this place.

Saturday Morning Family Outing for the Win

 

Jonah

My Mom had a saying, often uttered with a frustrated sigh.
"Can't win for losin'."

I get it. Often as not it can feel that way, I suppose. Maybe especially when there are big events that feel like big losses. Or multiple little thwartings that all add up.

But not today.
Not today.

Today we went swimming. A small and ginormous 'bai teo' where we all pile in the back of the truck and head out five minutes down the road to where a shallow pool provides fathoms of play.

Lukmee

Jonah gives the victory sign as he springs up from the water.
"I did it!" Funny how, every where you go, kids keep saying, "Watch this!" as if your eyes aren't glued on them the entire time.
Funny how, everywhere you go, no one says no to ice cream.

And this is deeply good and lovely to watch for any child's play. But these children?
These children....I know their stories.
They shouldn't be all frolicking and carefree on a Saturday morning.

And it makes it all the more of a win somehow.

We bought 29 ice creams.
Twenty children, 9 adults.
I told the booth attendant,
Rao mee kropkua yai!
(We have a big family.)
Yai, yai!, (big, big) she agreed, wide eyed.

Can't lose for winning, Mom.
Not when the wins are like this.

Together-Spunk

 

Not so much me at this age. Maybe that's why I love it so much when our girls demonstrate a sweet but edgy confidence. It can mean a world of difference in how one navigates the world.

And the world needs wise navigation. It did then. It does now. Life can be so tricky sometimes, so to learn early that you were created for a purpose, that you have a light inside of you that only you can shine, that there is darkness to vanquish, and you've been given everything you need to make a difference, makes all the difference.

But only if you're not trying to do any of that on your own.  I’m so not into that.  It’s not how it works.  Some lone-wolf idea, some distortion of individuation that requires an unrealistic and unhealthy independence. 

We need each other, Lukmee and I.  We both need this family, and the bigger Family we to whom we both belong.  We need our Father infusing us with spunk.  All of it.  Everything that makes us uniquely part of the whole big story of God.

This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine!

Mai Bpen Rai, Ka

There's a space here this morning for my soul to rest, 

even as restless events unfold half a planet away.

Mai bpen rai, ka.  Never mind.  It's all good.

Goodness in the midst of the not good.

  

Little Da gives the signal that it's all okay.

If you knew her story it would break your heart.  

Life has been so not okay. 

And yet here she is,

a box of Smarties in her other hand.

That's why, 

when I captured this sweet gesture from this sweet child,

I believed I was being reminded.   

The sun rises and there is still good work to do.

Let us not be distracted.

Or afraid.

God has not given us a spirit of fear;

but of power,

and of love,

and of a sound mind.

2 Timothy 1:7

 

Then Sings My Settled Soul

 

As we've moved into the first full week of our stay here, I am noticing something lovely, but recently elusive happening for me. A settled soul.

In the weeks leading up to getting on the plane, I've struggled to maintain focus and concentration. So many lists in so many different orbits of my life, personal, family, ministry. We've been un-nested now since July 18. Not really, because the cottage was and is a true place of home for me. But the temporary nature of our city dwelling, and the transient nature of where we've laid our heads over the past few months, have taken their toll. So much of the time there's this feeling of being pulled in the proverbial thousand directions.

But yesterday I noticed it. A settled mind and spirit. One focus, one heart, one beauty, right here, right now.

Physically as well. In a rather unusual way, I have slept beautifully, right though the night, every night we've been here so far. The summer's surgery recovery is a dim and distant memory now, especially compared to what I was still dealing with when I was here last.

I mention all this mostly and simply so I can mark it, and be fully grateful as I am fully present in this space. Fully present in the midst of children's voices raised in praise in the early sleepy moments of dawn. Fully present in the sunrise that follows, and in the sound of crickets and wild birds and geckos, all of which have become such familiar songs to my being. Fully present in the presence of community, slow and gentle, loving and being loved, knowing and being known.

Prajao ying yai.
How great Thou art.

To anyone needing some settling right now, I wish I could e-transfer some of this home to you. Maybe I can. We'll call it prayer.

And Then A Peacock (or Three)

One happy component of every single trip is the thing that's never happened before.  At least, most of the time it's a happy thing.  It was yesterday.

We're still in our first three days of adjustment, getting turned around on sleep and appetite and general sense of what day it is.  Saturday was remarkably productive, all that being said.  We were able to spend time with the kids beading and painting.  And in a very casual way, playing 'games' with English letters, Cheryl was able to do an assessment on almost all the children.  Very helpful as we head into Monday's first reading time.

While all that is going on, I look up from the dining area towards the guest house.  There are three large peacocks casually strolling across the property, up the hill, and checking out the porch of Suradet and Yupa's house.  Maybe they smelled our lunch being prepared.

No one was particularly phased.  Even the dogs didn't respond much more than to lift a head and make sure the birds were familiar, which apparently they were.  I pointed it out to Suradet who just laughed and said, "Ahjahn Ruth...we have everything!"

Yes, but this was my first visit from peacocks, I'll just say.  

It was a happy little new thing to add to the happy little things we were already doing with the kids.

I am writing from that relaxed not-preaching space between 5:30 morning worship followed by breakfast at 7:00, follow by worship that begins some time around 10 a.m.  Actually none of the times above are in any way precise.  That's just the way we roll.  

This morning, after breakfast, we were given the task of preparing for Communion, and what an honour it was.  And what an honour it will be to receive Communion together with our brothers and sisters here.

Settling in to our first days very well.

More on Sunday's service will most likely follow :).

Blessings all....

 

The Dawning of a Saturday

 

"Early in the morning,

my song shall rise to Thee."

(Hymn: Holy, Holy, Holy)

I heard the rooster sing them first, those praises.

Grateful for a very solid night's sleep, unusual for second day of jet lag.
Grateful for the cooler air of the morning.
Grateful for the anticipation of sleepy morning meditations with our children, in just a few moments.
Grateful for Team members adjusting well and engaging deeply even in these first few days.

Still some unpacking and sorting to do.
Preparing to tell the Christmas story tonight in our lesson series.
Easing into this beautifully.

Bead Kisses

We're here, we made it.

That's the first thing I need to get out there.

Quick.  Jet lag is hot on my heels, behind my eyes.

More of a story, when I'm not struggling so hard to stay awake.

Next, quickly now, before I droop again.

Just in case you were wondering if the packets you make as Sponsors matter.

Bee Mai is kissing her beads.

She did this over and over tonight as all the children opened their packets. 

I have more.

But I've literally dropped off twice while writing these few lines.

So, it's to bed.

Grateful and beyond for all the grace that brought us here.

Great team spirit through the typhoon.

But that's another story.

Blessings.

 

Clarity

Monday afternoon and the transitional clutter and confusion is started to get sorted.

Suitcases and carry-ons for Thailand are almost ready, all but what can't be done until mostly last minute anyway. All the shopping for sundries, which had to wait until we were back in the city, is done.

Van is unloaded and tidied and ready for our packing time as a Team tonight. Weigh scale is at the ready, and so far it looks good for staying within the limits AND bringing all we wanted to bring. We'll see how things go tonight.

I've also got my purse ready to go, which sounds like no big deal, but actually has about three steps to it, all very detailed, including all those carry on fluids, snacks, and a thorough change over of my wallet.

Another big relief today. The dentist agrees my broken back tooth is stable enough to not be too much trouble while I'm gone. I haven't really mentioned this yet, because it happened at Thanksgiving already, hasn't been bothering me, and, to be honest, I was fairly certain this would be the assessment, so I haven't been thinking of it too much. Still, I realized as I walked out of the office just how much I needed to get that go ahead checked off the list. Whew!

Back to the van. Having that all sorted and ready for our trip to the airport really helped clear my head too. Just felt like there were so many details and lists and things to sort through, between the cottage and Thailand. It was getting rather swimmy in there.

But here, just now, in the latter part of the afternoon of the day before, in the comfort of our stay, I feel it all washing away and sorting itself out and coming together.

Like Muay helping Wanmai shower off at the end of our little bai tea, out for a swim, last July.

Aaah yes.

And of course, I took another look at those pictures from last time just in case I might forget the why of it all in the mist of the doing of it all.

Those kids!
Soon my beloveds, soon!

When You See It For Yourself

Today has been full of all the feels.

Still feeling the physicality of closing the cottage, big time, and the crazy way the van is, and how it just represents the strange space I'm in to be back but leaving again. Living out of a suitcase again.

Grateful for the generous hospitality of friends (a beautiful, recurring theme these past four months already) for a place to stay and rest a little and finish off the packing, both personal and ministry, for Thailand.

Grateful for the time spent this morning worshiping at Highview, and the kind Commissioning the November Team received. It means so much to be prayed over. Every time.

So very excited and encouraged, awkward selfies notwithstanding, to see with our own eyes the progress made on our house so far! There will be pauses here and there, no doubt. But has there ever been a LOT accomplished this week! Standing there, beside the foundation in the sunshine this afternoon, it felt more real.

This morning, in one song we sang together, we were reminded that God's love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on us. And on and on it goes, like the wild sky over Georgian Bay that I've had so much time to sit under these past months. Pictures, like the one I've included here, kept coming to mind as we sang.

In between, that's how these next few days will feel.
It's a good place to get that 360 degree perspective I think.
From all angles.

And it all looks pretty amazing to me.

Final Fridays (For Now)

 

Taking a few moments before I really get at it. All the packing and putting away in prep for tomorrow's departure for the season.

So many things to say, really. A lot said already, probably. More to muse on, very definitely.

I know I will look back on this extended season with amazement for all God has done. To be settled here during a rather unsettling period of our life has been an enormous gift.

The good thing about staying later is that it won't be as long before we're back, Lord willing.

And....

Things ahead are exciting too. It's been a busy week in the foundation department of the construction of our new home. Can't wait to see it with my own eyes.

And...

So looking forward to hugs from grandkids.

And...

So looking forward to worshiping in person at Highview on Sunday.

And...

Our Team is ready to visit the beloveds in Thailand once again, leaving in the wee hours of Wednesday morning.

Here we go.
A final Friday for now.

Hope your week is winding up well.

Out-of-Milk Thursday

 

 

“Be still

and know that I am God.”

Psalm 46:10

 

In a new communication tactic on behalf of some of my forest friends, I noticed a bird flitting back and forth across the bedroom window this morning as I was blow-drying my hair.  A quick glance outside, and there was a blue jay sitting on the step.  At first I needed to be outside before they’d come.  Next, if I was sitting at the table by the front window.  Now, it seems, they’ve found me back around side of the cottage.  I’m impressed.

 So, I’ve put some peanuts out in rationed portions, reserving a few last handfuls for tomorrow.

That will be our last full day here.

Peanuts rationed.  We’re also out of milk.  I’m down to my last serving of yogurt.  The fridge is feeling emptier.  These are all the signs that we will soon vacate this home and head back to the city to begin the next phase in our little housing transition adventure.

We’ve enjoyed incredible temperatures these past several days.  This morning the fire is on and we’re layered up.  The packing has begun and the place looks a bit unruly, to be honest.   So does my to do list.  I’m not going to get it ta-done.  Not all of it.  So I’m rationing out that as well, prioritizing and giving my best energies to the tasks that count the most.

Like the frantic jays, I find it harder to be simply present these past few days.  Or rather, I have to be more intentional about it.  I have to be still on purpose.  Take a few moments on the deck to feed the blue jays and soak up all the colours of the early morning.

 What a good gift it’s been to have been here this long.

What amazing things await us back in the city….and also half way around the world.

Leaving for Thailand on Wednesday, and that will be another beautiful thing in itself.

So, happy Thursday.

Wishing you abundance in all things today.

But if you find yourself having to ration anything, make sure to stop and be still anyways.

If you get the chance.

Rock Solid Wednesday

 

Trust in the LORD himself;

for the LORD,

the LORD himself,

is the Rock eternal."

Isaiah 26:4

It was a full day yesterday, as these last days tend to be. Packing and packing and packing, repeated here not so much for emphasis on how much there is to do, but for the categories required to make sure everything gets to the right destination. There is no simple point A to point Be going in our lives right now.

Because it was so warm and summery, it seemed good to take advantage to finish the final clean-the-boat-before-winterizing ritual, which we did together. Felt good to be out in the sunshine like that.

Lots to do, and I'm feeling it. So to balance things a bit, I went out on purpose later in the afternoon as the sun came around to shine directly on our side of the channel. I wanted to get some good pictures of our buildings surrounded by the fall colours.

The water was so still that any ripples you see were solely of my own doing. Sat a while to allow the surface to mirror itself again, and it was so still and quiet! Slow even breaths, just to be in the beauty.

Can't help but notice the rocks, and the firm, unchanging foundation they provide.

I took way more pictures than this, but thought I'd just post a sampling.

Of course, if you look through the pictures you'll see a few that aren't so pretty but just as happy for us. It's of the footings that went in yesterday! Firm foundations are essential anywhere you build.

Feeling the countdown on both sides of things.

Glad for mirrored moments to remind me of my Rock.

Wishing you a Wednesday that brings confidence and anchoring to your soul.

Tangible Tuesdays

 

You can imagine the excitement yesterday when we started getting these pictures!

Yes!  We’re digging!!  Well, technically WE aren’t, but people with fun machines and who know what they are doing rolled onto the property yesterday morning early to break up the earth and make us a lovely hole.

Our new little home will have a crawl space only, but that’s enough to require the excavation in preparation of the next step…pouring the concrete foundation.

Yes and yes!!  Things are really starting to take shape now.  And while we expect the process to take its own time with any number of things to wait through and wade through, it sure does feel good to have this first visible step happening.

Big thanks to our son David, who is overseeing this in person until we get back, managing the inconveniences of such a big mess right in his own backyard, and staying so positive and encouraging!! Also to Harvest who came home to a big hole out back and sent us a picture right away.

So, in contrast to all the lovely fall colours reflected on the glassy waters of Georgian Bay, brace yourselves for the incoming onslaught of crazy mess building pictures that only look beautiful to the people who are excited about what’s coming. 

“Unless the LORD builds the house….”  Psalm 127:1

Curious Mondays

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;

I counsel you with my loving eye on you."

Psalm 32:8

On this particular Monday I am particularly curious.

This begins the last week in an experimental, not-necessarily-planned-this-way stint away from our lives in Kitchener-Waterloo, to be here at our summer home on Georgian Bay.   This is the last week in October.  We've never stayed this long.

It's been amazing!

  

While it would never be my first choice to be away from family and friends this long, we have managed to stay connected.  And even though this is usually a place we take our vacation, both of us have continued to work from here, thanks to the marvels of modern technology, and the patience and grace of everyone who has flexed with us.

And while it wasn't in the original between-houses plan, my living through it and reflections about it, in these past days especially, lead me to believe this was something I truly, deeply needed.  Especially these past two months.  I am quite sure I'll look back on our moving-transition-emergency-appendectomy-delays-in-the-new-build chapter of our story, and realize just how much I was loved to be able to just stay still and quiet in a sacred place for this long.  I know this.  I have been so well loved in the giving of this gift.

Still waters.  Restored soul.

So, this morning, this last Monday morning, I'm curious.  Because there have been some unusual and, from my point of view, disruptive events happening along this part of the journey.  It's a journey we started planning for and praying about two years ago, towards a simpler lifestyle that better reflected the integrity of the partnerships God has been inviting us into with beloveds on the other side of the planet.  We stepped out, yes, in faith.  And it hasn't gone exactly the way we expected.

It's been better.  So far it has.  

So I'm curious.  As we finish out this part of the transition between homes, and we face uncertain time lines in these next three months, what else has God got in mind?  Might not be still waters.  We'll have to readjust to city life.  Very likely the way will include more frustrations and other kinds of sacrifices.  

Some surprises, yes.  

And there likely will be more.

But, okay.  

Let's see where this takes us.

Happy curious Monday, friends.

Wishing you good surprises and tons of grace for the journey you find yourself on right now.

AND....

Between writing and posting something exciting has begun on our property for the new build.

Pictures to follow!!!!!!!!!!

The Divine is in the Details

 

For since the creation of the world

God's invisible qualities --

His eternal power and divine nature --

have been clearly seen,

being understood from what has been made.

Romans 1:20

The heavens declare the glory of God,

the skies proclaim the work of his His hands.

Day after day they pour forth speech;

night after night they reveal knowledge.

Psalm 19:1-2

A smattering of photographic praise this morning, worshiping the wonder of God through all the close-up, horizon-wide, sky-bold, day-and-night, delicately-detailed, broadly-stroked captures of creation.

What a vibrant fall it is has been, even as we are only now seeing a fuller scope of colours on the trees. Blues are bluer for sure. Mist is mistier somehow. Or maybe it's just that I know I have less than a week left here, and I'm just trying to soak it all in.

Blessings to all this stellar Sunday morning!

A special hello to my Highview friends.

We'll be joining on line at 10:30.

See you (sort of) then.

{But next week.....)

One More Week

"You will keep in perfect peace (shalom, shalom)

those whose minds are steadfast

because they trust in You."

Isaiah 26:3

A steadfast mind is a choice. But, I have to say, so much easier to choose in the peace of this place.

It was a newsy day yesterday, and lots of conversation back and forth about how plans may yet again change based on circumstances beyond our control. I'm referring to our upcoming trip to Thailand and how that overlaps with some complex health issues for folks there, complicated further by the recent flooding in Chiang Mai.

In the end we're still on, but with some modifications, and not without a fair bit of 'big feelings' in play as I sorted myself out in the uncertainty through most of yesterday. You can check out the Highview to Thailand blog for more details.

For now I'll say that I woke up feeling a tad weary in spirit, despite a good night's sleep (remarkably).

That's why I'm staying mindful of the quiet today.

One more week here.

So much yet to do.

And also, just to be.

Hope you are finding your own peace on this Thursday.

Sending along this picture from my time down on the boat last evening for anyone who might need to borrow some tranquility.

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