The Wild Yes

"I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered.

"May it be to me as you have said."

Then the angel left her.

Luke 1:38

"When Joseph woke up,

he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him

and took Mary home as his wife."

Matthew 1:24

I'm looking for a nativity set right now. For all my Christmas decor (currently put away in bins) this centerpiece of Advent worship is missing. I've been hoping, that if I find one this season, I can set it up on a quiet shelf and let it say what it needs to say to me.

But I'm having a hard time finding one that will do that.

This one pictured is lovely, and set just so with the lights and such. I love the adoring expressions on the faces. But it's not mine, and it's not exactly the rustic-real depiction I'm going for.

I'm picky about this.

I doubt I'm going to find exactly what I'm looking for, but the reality is that, parental adoration notwithstanding, I imagine Mary and Joseph's faces to be more anxious. As in "What in heaven's name have we gotten ourselves into?"

Months ago now, they both said yes to something so unbelievable people, well, didn't believe them. Even Joseph, at first. It took visits from angels to convince them.

How outrageous!

To be tasked with bringing the Messiah to the world. To be asked to nurture the redemptive arch of God's ultimate ethic. To lay aside their own plans for a tidy, unassuming life together, and instead embark on a journey that would see them being chased by a crazed monarch, and landing as refugees in a place far from home. And that was just the beginning.

Of course they didn't know all that in detail when they said their yeses. But, come on, the barging in of the angel would have been a fairly big clue that they were saying yes to something with a high disruption risk.

I admire their courage. And they inspire me, both of them. They set a standard for me. I want a similar story to be written into my own life. Saying yes, and seeing where it takes me.

Saying yes to the impossible task of bringing the Messiah to the world. Of nurturing the redemptive arch of God's ultimate ethic. To lay aside my own plans for a tidy, unassuming life, and stepping boldly out into all that the yes requires. To say the yes that makes me ask, "What in heaven's name have I gotten myself into?"

I'll keep looking for my nativity set.
If not for this year, for next when, Lord willing, we'll be all settled into our new little house.
I think it will go on the mantle.

The Outlandish Possibilities of a Not-As-Planned Christmas

 

I'll say it right up front. A green Christmas is way easier for anyone travelling to family gatherings. So there's that.

And.

I am in that category of people who prefers a white Christmas.

Looking at the weather forecasts for this week before the 'Big Day', I can't quite tell what it's going to be. Some snow today? Overnight? But probably not enough to sustain a bit of rain predicted for later in the week? Any sleet or ice? Oh my, let's not have a repeat of last Christmas Eve!

So you see how it goes. I want snow, but kind of 'made to order.' The 'on-cue', harmless fluffy stuff sometimes referred to as 'Hollywood snow.' Yes. That would make for a 'perfect' Christmas.

And of course, when I write it all out like that, it's so obvious that the weather is completely out of my control. I can put up the sign and the antique sled on my porch, and then wait in eager anticipation. But the outcome is way beyond my pay grade.

Thing is, if I'm not careful, I can start to think about other Christmas expectations, and how I want all that to be 'perfect' too. Am I the only one? And is it just Christmas that provokes this desire for everything to be 'just so?'

Yet so much of what I am hoping for is really not my job, and not at all within my power to make happen, even as I strive to make it so. No amount of exquisite planning (something I am lacking this year, by the way) can 'make' people respond the way I am hoping, or solve the problems that might encroach on our Christmas happiness, or....whatever else it is that is going to mess with my 'Hollywood snow' vignette.

And actually, to take it to another level, that's not at all how I want to live. Not at Christmas. Not at all.

The very first Christmas has as a pivotal point in the story that is a moment of completely the opposite. If the human tendency is to attempt to control our environments in order to suit ourselves, then Mary demonstrates a complete about-face. A moment of all-out, hands-open, heart-surrendered release. This young girl, with her future basically mapped out in front of her, about to be launched into her adult life, hears God's outlandish plans for her, risks it all and says:

"I am the Lord's servant. Be it unto me as you have said."
Luke 1:30

The very first Christmas was about utter abandonment to things
not-as-planned.

These reflections bring much comfort to my not-ready-for-Christmas-according-to-my-type-A-first-born-expectations soul this year. Mary reorients me towards a green Christmas, and all the other ways I haven't been able to engage in the season as I normally love to do.

Don't get me wrong. The house is finally looking Christmassy enough (hence the decor on the porch pictured here). I've been able to simplify gift giving. And - sorry folks - I'm NOT doing Christmas cards this year.

On Sunday at Highview there was such a warm, truly joyful vibe, not just in the service but before and after too; so much part of why I love my faith community so fiercely. And there's still the Let It Be Christmas presentations coming. And our family's gathering plans have fallen into pleasant places. Lots of love there for us, and I do not take that for granted.

So, snow or no, ready or not, Christmas will be all it needs to be, as long as I keep my heart open to all the outlandish possibilities God might want to bring.

Christmas Already

 "I am the Lord's servant. May it be to me as you have said."

Mary, Mother of Jesus - Luke 1:38

A crimson flower is about as Christmassy as it gets for us at Hot Springs right now. Red and green. No snow to put me in the mood. Yes, I know snow can provoke other kinds of moods, depending on how much shoveling one has to do. For me, right now, if I'm missing anything about December in Canada it's the cozy of it.

Never mind. Soon enough I'll be as cozy as my fleece blankets and roaring fireplace can make me. We leave Sunday night (Thailand time so Sunday morning Canadian time) December 3, three days shy of a whole month away.

The impending departure intrudes my thoughts frequently in the last days. It happened last night during our closing prayer time, all the little Thai voices murmuring prayers together before we end with the doxology.

And I remembered.

Was reminded.

Days before departure, in our family room with heating pads on my back, pillows placed strategically, the fire on and gallons of water on the table beside me, passing a kidney stone, and praying.

"Lord, just please give me the go-ahead from the doctor, and the strength to brute my way through the travel and ministry demands of the month ahead."

And then the interruption.

Happens often as not, but this one was somewhat more definitive.

"Ruth Anne. You ask Me for too little."

At least, this is how I would put into English words the 'impression' that came to my mind. That I should ask more boldly.

So I did, weeping.

I asked for strength and healing so that I could fully participate in leading the Team, teaching Bible and English, preaching, worshiping together, participating in life together with my Thai family while I was away for the month of November. No barely crawling my way though it. Robust, energetic, abundant life. Please. According to Your plans and purposes.

It was a risky prayer. Because at the time I was feeling so rough. So uncomfortable. At the time of this prayer I was getting up gingerly for every trip to the bathroom, which was about the only time I got up. I was taking pain medication. I was feeling weak and woozy, and unable to sleep well or concentrate for very long because of the pain. Didn't even want to drive myself somewhere, let along feel fit enough to get on a plane and travel half way around the world.

And I remembered/was reminded of that last night, while we were praying. Remembered/was reminded of the state of physical weakness I was in then. And realizing that right now my body feels stronger and more rested than it has since I stepped out of the kayak after my last ride around the island. Yes. Like that. A 190 degree turn around from that desperate prayer day in October.

God does what He chooses to do. Sometimes bold prayers are answered with a yes, and sometimes they are not. But this one, this coaxed-out-of-me boldness for this particular need, this particular time was an all out yes.

So maybe the red flower is NOT as Christmassy as it gets around here right now. Maybe, in a surrendered state, I have received my Christmas gift already. And it is strong and beautiful and intimate and holy and fills me with gratitude inexpressible but I try just the same with as many words as pour out of my awe-filled heart.

Yes, Lord, yes.
As You have said.