I’ve made it no secret that turning 60 has been a big deal
for me. To be clear, I was more than
adequately celebrated, and I had loads of freedom, on that day, to spend it in
ways that were fun and meaningful and happy.
The big deal, then, has been more about the opportunity to
reflect on my life and recognize, with excited anticipation, how everything up
until now will most definitely define everything that happens next.
Because, I am just getting started!
Are you kidding? What a gift sixty years of living can bring
in terms of focus and clarity for what’s important. Maybe it’s just taken me this long and other
folks ‘get it’ way sooner than this, but in earlier years I was still figuring
myself out, still trying things out, still sorting it all out. Now, with still so much more to learn, of
course , I am quietly certain of what really matters. At least, what really matters to me.
As an imperfect follower of Jesus who also happens to be,
among other things, a leader of a spiritual community, a cross-cultural partner
in work with at-risk children, a woman, wife, mom and gramma, here’s what I
would say really matters to me now, as I embrace this next decade.
First, it matters
that I am a good steward of myself. This
has taken me a long time to believe and then practice, but it matters more now
than ever because everything else will hinge on this. Being a good steward of myself includes a way
of looking after my physical body that is different than before, more like the
kind of extra TLC required to keep a classic car running. I find I have to be patient with what my body
needs, how I respond to stress, and what kind of fuel I can run on. Being a good steward of myself also has a lot
to do with emotional energy. At this
point in my life I am not so quick to spend myself recklessly. That doesn’t mean I don’t recklessly love,
only that I refuse to invest in relationships or situations when it becomes
obvious my emotional outlay is not helpful to the other and perhaps even
damaging to myself, taking away energies better spent on family and those who
can benefit. Being a good steward also means that I pay attention to the abilities and gifts I've been given, and channel my energies accordingly. And all of this requires the hard but necessary work of self awareness.
Second, it matters
that I find and maintain that delicate space that holds in balance equal
measures of firm conviction, earnest curiosity, and humble possibility to be
wrong. I believe what I believe very
strongly, and I have studied and explored and lived out my beliefs to the best
of my ability. My faith is of paramount
importance to my life, and has brought goodness and stability and strength all
through my lifetime. But I have
experienced within and outside the circles of my own faith, a kind of dogma
that prevents an openness to new ideas and experiences. I don’t want that. And as sure as I am about some things, I
want to hold on to the understanding that I might be wrong. How arrogant for me to get to a place where I
think I know everything and know it perfectly.
Third, it matters to
welcome and embrace ‘the other’ and let that, not other seductive metrics,
guide my desire for leadership or personal success. According to Jesus’ criteria for success as
laid out in Matthew 25, ‘the other’ is anyone unlike ourselves and who is often
initially perceived as having nothing to offer, but always seem to surprise us
otherwise. Usually ‘the other’ is not in
our ‘demographic’; someone we would not have naturally sat with
at the same table in our high school cafeteria.
Most often ‘the other’ needs something we have in excess, for which they
will never be able to repay in kind, but will in actuality repay in ways that
enrich us beyond our imagining. I tie this concept of ‘the other’ with my
reflections on turning 60 because, as the leader of a community of faith
looking back on a lifetime of ministry, I am subject to severe and relentless temptations to measure
my success quite differently. In this,
both Matthew 25 and Isaiah 58 have become guiding texts.
Fourth and finally,
it matters that I be the person my grandchildren apparently believe me to be. By the sheer enthusiasm with which I’m
greeted every time, it would seem that my grandchildren think I’m a
superstar. At least someone worthy of
wild hugs and lavish kisses and being dragged up to their room to be shown the
latest drawing or Lego creation. To my
great delight and honour, I am thoroughly invited into their lives. I do
not take this responsibility lightly.
With grandchildren comes the opportunity to influence another
generation, one that will outlast me by decades. What legacy can I leave these most precious
of human beings? What memories can we
make that will benefit their lives long after I’m gone? Turning 60 has given me a deeper desire to
hone in on who these little Beloveds are growing to be, because it matters how
I live out the rest of my life with them.
I guess Paul the Apostle summed it up very nicely in this
letter to the church in Galatia.
“The
only thing that counts is faith showing itself in love.”
Galatians 5:5
Love this. It’s been the banner
text across this blog since the beginning, and I think it will stay there for
quite some time.
Maybe even, Lord
willing, until I’m reflecting on what matters at 70.
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