In my adult life, Christmas has of course become a season-long celebration. It's no longer just about 'the Day,' but about all that happens leading up to and even after it. Oh the carols, both in church and in the malls. And all the food, yes the sweets. And the decorating, for me, way in advance, to set the tone for the 'light against the darkness' reflections that will still my soul as the year draws to a close.
But there remains something 'extra' about Christmas Eve, I think. Maybe something that has morphed from the childhood frenzied excitement that meant we could barely get to sleep, and all the presents we hoped to be under the tree the next morning, to a more subtle but still deeply anticipatory spiritual state of longing and wonder, representing all the things I still long for. Belonging, joy, peace, love. My 'grown up Christmas wish' if you will.
Yes, there's still that ridiculous expectation on Christmas Eve.
Today, my daughter, in a nod to a family tradition we had when we were all growing up, sent a little meme with a street scene from The Muppets Christmas Carol, and a caption quoting one of the songs, "After all, it's only one more sleep 'til Christmas Day." And I sang it in my head and felt all the feels.
I want to sit here right now in the longing for it. In anticipation of what it all represents.
And as I do, a thought drops in.
God wanted me.
It stops me short. Intrudes on where I thought this post was going.
I imagine God on "Christmas Eve," that first time, waiting for just the right moment. The holy anticipation. The divine state of longing and wonder, because...He wanted me.
I mean, isn't that story? That we celebrate a logic-defying Incarnation that was motivated by God's deep and eternal desire to have us 'with' Him in a way we couldn't accomplish on our own? That really, what God wanted for Christmas, was....us. You and me.
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