Christmas Already

 "I am the Lord's servant. May it be to me as you have said."

Mary, Mother of Jesus - Luke 1:38

A crimson flower is about as Christmassy as it gets for us at Hot Springs right now. Red and green. No snow to put me in the mood. Yes, I know snow can provoke other kinds of moods, depending on how much shoveling one has to do. For me, right now, if I'm missing anything about December in Canada it's the cozy of it.

Never mind. Soon enough I'll be as cozy as my fleece blankets and roaring fireplace can make me. We leave Sunday night (Thailand time so Sunday morning Canadian time) December 3, three days shy of a whole month away.

The impending departure intrudes my thoughts frequently in the last days. It happened last night during our closing prayer time, all the little Thai voices murmuring prayers together before we end with the doxology.

And I remembered.

Was reminded.

Days before departure, in our family room with heating pads on my back, pillows placed strategically, the fire on and gallons of water on the table beside me, passing a kidney stone, and praying.

"Lord, just please give me the go-ahead from the doctor, and the strength to brute my way through the travel and ministry demands of the month ahead."

And then the interruption.

Happens often as not, but this one was somewhat more definitive.

"Ruth Anne. You ask Me for too little."

At least, this is how I would put into English words the 'impression' that came to my mind. That I should ask more boldly.

So I did, weeping.

I asked for strength and healing so that I could fully participate in leading the Team, teaching Bible and English, preaching, worshiping together, participating in life together with my Thai family while I was away for the month of November. No barely crawling my way though it. Robust, energetic, abundant life. Please. According to Your plans and purposes.

It was a risky prayer. Because at the time I was feeling so rough. So uncomfortable. At the time of this prayer I was getting up gingerly for every trip to the bathroom, which was about the only time I got up. I was taking pain medication. I was feeling weak and woozy, and unable to sleep well or concentrate for very long because of the pain. Didn't even want to drive myself somewhere, let along feel fit enough to get on a plane and travel half way around the world.

And I remembered/was reminded of that last night, while we were praying. Remembered/was reminded of the state of physical weakness I was in then. And realizing that right now my body feels stronger and more rested than it has since I stepped out of the kayak after my last ride around the island. Yes. Like that. A 190 degree turn around from that desperate prayer day in October.

God does what He chooses to do. Sometimes bold prayers are answered with a yes, and sometimes they are not. But this one, this coaxed-out-of-me boldness for this particular need, this particular time was an all out yes.

So maybe the red flower is NOT as Christmassy as it gets around here right now. Maybe, in a surrendered state, I have received my Christmas gift already. And it is strong and beautiful and intimate and holy and fills me with gratitude inexpressible but I try just the same with as many words as pour out of my awe-filled heart.

Yes, Lord, yes.
As You have said.