A Slower Start

 Finally, it is the alarm that wakes me up.

This is welcome even though the time is 4:15 a.m.  Jet lag has been particularly significant this time, and I am delighted to have been able to "sleep in" this long.  And not have been coughing.

It is Saturday and now a full eight days since our arrival, but in some ways, on this morning of sleeping in, it feels like things might just now be getting started.

Sam and Jaroen wait for service to begin.

Perhaps it's because we didn't go to the mountain for New Years, which admittedly was a huge let down.  Perhaps it's because the children went back to school on Wednesday, which admittedly makes things much quieter around here.  Perhaps it's because our visit to the local schools with ESL in hand is waiting, as scheduled, for the arrival of our third team member, Bill, which admittedly postpones some of the sense of 'purpose' for being here.   And to be honest, I think some of the slower start has been because I've been kinda sick with this nasty cough, and for the first day at least, with a fast but furious visit from the traveler's bug (and here's where I spare you the details) that has left me feeling just a tad cautious about going out too far still.  So slower and sticking close to home has suited me fine on that point.

On all points actually.

One of our 'graduates' Fruk was just 7 when we first came.

It's a slower way of life here anyways.  And I welcome this.  Even on a morning when the alarm finally wakes me at 4:15 a.m.  Slower is Thai.  Slower is good.

I've seen farangs here trying to speed things up.  Meetings or services don't start on time.  It takes forever to gather a group.  Going for a haircut can take an entire day.  People get impatient.  I've seen farangs lose composure, try to force things to a Western way of time-orientation, micromanage their Thai friends.  I've been that farang.  And I guess, at times, as much as I hate to admit it, I can still be.

But not right now.  Right now I embrace this slower start.  Slower start to the trip.  Slower start to the year.  Slower start to what I think might be a slower next step of my life.  (Oh there is so much more to write on that!)

Having said that, it's not like there's been nothing to do. 

Elephants celebrating Christmas.

Preached first Sunday here for New Year's Eve.  Preaching this coming Sunday.  And every evening there's the combined Bible and English lesson with no end of creative possibilities to make the learning both fun and logical.  Spent one day doing a thorough clean up of ESL teaching helps; cards and pictures and books etc.  And we've started our Hot Springs book club so there's no end of reading and being read to happening.  Work at home doesn't come to a complete standstill either, and there have been emails and schedules and updates to write.

But it's nothing like the reckless, what now feels insane pace of the four months that have preceded this.  This is slower.  This is Thai.  This is good.  And very badly needed.

And it strikes me again how badly I need this.  To be reminded of what being a human 'being' looks like, Thai style.  To let a little Thai style sink into my spirit more deeply again.

Here at the beginning of a slower start that's okay by me.

New Years' Pictures As Promised

Pounded Sticky Rice prepared in a hollowed out log, pounded with large sticks.

Sam was a natural.  It's harder than it looks.

The end result, served on a banana leaf.

Waiting for the countdown, watching Despicable Me 3 in Thai.

Ahjahn Jaroen doing technical checks before the Sunday morning service.

They are so thrilled to have Sam join the worship team.

Boy (who is finishing high school at a vocational school nearby) is here for worship!

    A beautiful expression of faith as so many came forward to receive prayer for 2018 and the "New Thing" God wants to do in their lives.

Of Washed Out Roads and Making New Plans

(More New Year's Pictures to Follow)

We didn't make it to the mountain for New Years.

Full story at Highview To Thailand.

All I Want for Christmas

His name is Mee-o and he needs braces.

And  that's all I want for Christmas.

I noticed it the last two times I visited Hot Springs.  Mee-o had stopped smiling.  Not always.  Not when he kind of can't help it, because something's funny or he's just made a spectacular score in football.  When he forgets about himself a little the wide grin returns and I remember the happy little guy who first came to live in this large and loving family 45 minutes east of Chaing Mai in northern Thailand.







He and his brother are originally from a remote mountain village without adequate schooling.  Their mother is alive, but as a single parent, she asked if her boys could come to live where they'd get a better education, improved nutrition and health care, and a chance at a better life overall.  They thrived at Hot Springs, and five years later Two, the older brother, has returned to live with his Mom, working to support her.  Mee-o remains to finish high school. 


He's becoming a man now.  In July when I was there, his voice was definitely changing.  His hands are large and strong, his jaw more defined.  But I noticed also an increasing self-consciousness that seems to keep him looking down, mouth closed over the one awkwardly twisted tooth right up front.  The only reason the picture above (green shirt) sports a smile is because I specifically asked him so I could get a picture of what needs to be done.

It's a small adjustment, and it estimates are it will be a total of about $1,500 for the entire course of correction.  But that's not in the budget, and most of the time, rural folks like Mee-o never have these cosmetics remedied.  It's just a luxury.

But it could also be a very cool Christmas present.  And really, it could make a world of difference for one young man's sense of confidence.

I'm headed back on December 27 and I'm hoping to bring Mee-o a gift.  And in fact, I'm just putting it out there, telling all my peeps, that whatever, if perhaps, you had in mind to wish me a Merry Christmas, the best way you could do that this year is to put a few dollars toward Mee-o's braces.

Hope it's not rude to say so.  But in truth, I have more than I need myself. 

Donations can be made in person at Highview Community Church, mailed to same at 295 Highview Drive, Kitchener, Ontario N2N 2K7, mark everything "Braces".  Or inquire at info@hcckw.ca and we'll do everything we can to make it simple. 

And can I just say, what an amazing thing it is to have so many of you participating in all things Hot Springs already.  Just, thank you. 

The View From Here

One of many lookout points along the Interstate, West Virginia

As much as I hate to admit it, I really need this.

To get my head up and out of, my cherished routines, as needful as they are.  To pull away, far away, for a little bit from all the thinking and doing.  To drive through the mountains and sometimes just stop and get out of the car and just make our eyes happy with how far they can see.  And not check that off a list.

New River Gorge, W. Virginia

This 'data-gathering' little drive down to North Carolina for the weekend does more than satisfy our curiosity about a particular project we have in mind.  It is a chance to be together and plan together and laugh together, and stop and be amazed together at the capacity of creation to show off.  And just to capture, and be captured by, the view from here.

They're beautiful, the mountains.  In brilliant sunlight or clutching wisps of clouds, early in the morning or as the sun is setting, all of it.   Especially this time of year. 

And I can't help but compare.  And sigh a little for mountains that capture me in similar ways, half way around the world.

Sunset en route to Suradet's Village, Fall 2015

 There too I find my eyes are hungry for this perspective.  Creation shows off a Mighty handiwork.  I am reminded of my need, and marvel again at the wonders of dignity and being raised up to stand on mountains beyond myself. 

November's flowers, close to Suradet's Village, Fall 2015

Who am I?  I ask it again but not in angst but wonder.  So small against this backdrop, yet lavished with this and other unspeakable graces.

 "Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens,

your faithfulness to the skies.

Your righteousness is like the highest mountains,

Your justice like the great deep."

Psalm 36:5-6

Morning Mist, Suradet's Village, Fall 2015

A Song for the Good Men

Here's to my brothers;
the strong ones,
the humble ones,
who have respected me
and welcomed me
and marched beside me in the wretchedness
we equally oppose.

Here's to my brothers;
the gentle ones,
the true ones,
who've taught me so much
by being willing to learn from me
and have grown together with me in the ignorance
we equally admit.

Here's to my brothers;
the special ones,
the ones I regard as astonishing gifts
in a life that could have been lesser than,
except that you championed for me
advocated for me,
gave me a voice where I was voiceless,
and unleashed me to become
all I was created female to be.

Here's to my brothers;
who have never demeaned me,
or taken credit for my ideas,
or taken advantage of my servant heart,
or called my head little or pretty,
or suggested I wasn't enough,
or dismissed my opinions,
or my feelings.

Here's to my brothers
who have never, ever touched me in unwanted ways,
or made me feel unsafe,
or reduced themselves to something they're not
by behaving or speaking things
that only hurt us both.

My life is rich with all of you.
You are many.
You are faithful.
You are beautiful.
You are not painted with the same brush,
not at all.
You are a treasure to humanity.

And I ask forgiveness for times I was angry with all of you
for what some others had done,
not you.
Because I love you.
I need you.
And I will sing this song always,
for all the good men.

So Here's What's Happening

It's time to write it out, and put it out there, the enormous, wonderful, terrifying, sad and happy thing that's been unfolding for the past two years or so (depending on how we measure time on this stuff).

As of May 27, 2018 I will no longer be Senior Pastor at Highview Community Church, and will embark on an expanded adventure into all that God is doing at Hot Springs Church in Thailand.

There.  I said it.  Somehow saying it 'out loud' like this helps make it sound more real.  Because, to be honest, I'm finding it hard to believe, even after this slow and careful process, that this is really what's happening.  But it is.

On Wednesday, September 27, 2017 the Members of Highview Community Church took the last step in an official nine-month process, and strongly affirmed our Associate Pastor Erin Wildsmith to step into the Senior Pastor role at Highview next spring.  I will continue as Senior Pastor until May 27th, after which time I will take a six month hiatus from attendance at Highview, and then return in an unpaid, separately-funded capacity as Missionary In Residence.

This has been a work in progress for some time.

Yes, how do you measure the timelines on these things?  Because in a way, I could say that this has been in the works since I was eleven when I first felt a 'call' to Southeast Asia.  I could say that this has been what God was providing for when I didn't end up a career missionary as a young woman, but married instead a man who would prove to be the exactly perfect partner for ministry both here and abroad.  I could say that this was furthered in purpose when Suradet, in a pastor-to-pastor, heart-to-heart conversation six years ago, shared his vision for an expanded ministry from Hot Springs Church, and invited me to ask God if I might partner with him and Yupa in it.


I could say that it's been forming slowly over the past nine years as I have felt an undeniable pull towards this land and this people so very different from my own, but with whom I am feeling more and more at home. I could say that it had a strong movement in this direction when a smart and eager- to-learn seminary student named Erin asked if she could intern at Highview, based largely on a curiosity and pull on the part of both herself and her husband to get to know our community better.  I could say it gained urgency and energy when, in the summer of 2016, it became obvious that for various reasons Highview would require some restructuring, and that staffing would be a significant part of that.

And then, the real work began.

Real work for us as leaders at Highview committed to a consensus-oriented decision making process, to seeking discernment in community, listening and praying and listening some more so as not to make any knee-jerk decisions about something so precious to our hearts as the beautiful, grace-filled community that is Highview.

Real work for our people as they heard the presentation of ideas that seemed somewhat premature, given it hadn't looked like Ruth Anne was going anywhere for a little while yet, and everyone kind of thinking that in some ways we weren't broke so why fix it?

Real work for Erin and the nothing-short-of-brutal process it is when a congregation has to get their head around the kinds of change we were presenting, and how much it feels like something it's not, and putting aside ego and agendas, which she did with astonishing grace, revealing a stellar character all the way.

Real work for me, who in so many ways does not want to leave this work and the people I love so deeply in my being, and into whom have poured myself for twenty years and more.  But I love Highview more than I love my position among them.  I love God's ideas more than any plans I try to make for myself.

And so we pursued it.  All the way. And here we are.  And it's really happening.

It is way too soon to be saying goodbyes or determining details for the next steps.  My focus and concentration will be firmly on finishing well, leading and loving right to the last possible moment.  So, while ideas are formulating and some needful things are already falling into place, I will leave the fleshing out of my own next steps for future blogs as they unfold more clearly before me.

I do want to say, in case it's been left unsaid, how wildly and deeply and fully I love Highview Community Church.  You are an unusually grace-filled people among whom I am honoured and blessed to pursue my own spiritual formation.

I do want to say, in case it's been left unsaid, how astonished and beyond-words grateful I am for my husband Ken who is with me all the way on this, and with whom I eagerly anticipate moving into these next things, very much together.

I do want to say, in case it's been left unsaid, how impressed I am with the character and spirit and capacity of Erin Wildsmith, with whom I have had the deep pleasure of growing and being challenged by and watching God at work in her.  Highview is in good hands.

And very personally, I do want to say, in case it's been left unsaid, that I am completely surprised and profoundly grateful that God would take a timid, bullied, insecure 11 year old girl, and lovingly walk her through a whole big life, providing her with opportunities beyond herself, with mentors and supports all along the way, into adventures she never, in a million years, would have imagined for herself.

So that's what's happening; then, now and beyond.

Jesus promised abundant life (John 10:10).
It is.