Godscapes

http://highviewtothailand.blogspot.ca/2013/10/the-delight-of-ordinary-saturday.html


Back from Thailand.

Body.  Mind.  Soul.  That's the order.

So I should clarify.  My body is back.  My mind is almost here.  My soul....that will take some time.

It used to unsettle me, this gradual return.  Feels like I'm in two places at once, a kind of jet-lag of the heart.  Can't stop the translator in my head.  Feeling cold, and way too dry.  Enjoying Western comforts but missing Eastern simplicities.  Hungry for rice and Yupa's cooking.  Sort of a misty in-between.  Wake up in orientation mode.  Glad to be home, but full of longings.

Now I just let it happen.  Soon enough the whole of me will be here again.  Just takes time.

I've not been off line.  The link above will take you to one of many posts in the Highview to Thailand blog we set up several trips ago.  That's a report kind of blog.  It's here I'll do some unpacking.  It helps my soul get home.

Here are some random shots to get me started.

Kratae, Bouy and Da, silly and happy.

Thim who's off to university and taller than me!

Eg whose smile is completely enchanting.

Frogs, seasoned and gutted on display at the market.

The butcher from whom we bought our pork for the pig roast.

Yupa and her Mom who runs a noodle shop out of her home in her small village, close to Hot Springs.

Fun time at the pig roast.  A special party night!

The boy's table is a happening place!

A bag of corn puff-like treats.  With 19 children you buy stuff in bulk!

Someone who landed for a quick visit on the dining room table.  In Thai the word for butterfly translates literally as "ghost shirt".

Yupa's barely functioning stove that we'll try to replace for Christmas.  Some of the best Thai food on the planet comes from this kitchen!

Sending off the older ones to school.  L to R Boy, Apple, Miki, Fruk, Me, Somchai.  Hard to believe Somchai was up to my shoulders when I first met him 5 years ago.

Just one of Yupa's many amazing orchids.  

Suradet heading over to hang up laundry.  A little out of a traditional Thai role, but this couple is hardly conventional to begin with.   Everyone pitches in wherever needed.  

And so I sort out the pictures as I sort out myself.

Even so.  This has probably been the best return ever.  Easiest travel, there and back.  Easiest transition home, as gradual as it will be.

Caught of glimpse of God's sovereign complexity and loving simplicity this time.

Hard to describe, but it has to do with the fact that at age 11 I first felt a tug towards SE Asia.  The church I grew up in was very globally-minded, and I was introduced to this part of the world through a visiting missionary.   Turns out I didn't go.  Not then, not even as a young adult, back then.  But 40 years later, when I finally did, it was 'just in time' to hook up with these incredible people called Suradet and Yupa.

Their own story and time line matches perfectly with mine.  Their urgent prayers for help being answered in concert with my own for Highview's direction in Region's Beyond.  Their need being matched with my access to resources.  Their example of radical hospitality lining up with my need for exactly this kind of hero.  Their love providing precisely what this 11 year old so desperately needed.

Perfect timing.  Perfect match.

Sometimes you find yourself involved in something so wild and beautiful it could only be God. 

I have no idea why God has lavished such things upon me.  I only hope to be a worthy steward of such a gift as this.

Tomorrow!!

 In anticipation of tomorrow's take off, I'm posting just a few pictures.  As if I wasn't excited enough!
Can't wait to see my girl Thim, already in university, learning to be an English teacher!

 Here's the whole gang from last March's visit.  My little guy Eg is in the yellow shirt right up front. 

 A quick flash back to when Suradet and Yupa were here in April, making an authentic Thai supper for my family.  So yummy...and so cool to have them in my own home!

Two sides of the world.  One Lord.

Tomorrow.  Plane leaves 12:15 p.m.   Leaving house by 7:30.  Ken's going to drive me to the airport this time.  I'm so ready.  Bags are full of gifts from Sponsors and others who want to send as much love as the baggage allowances permit!

Wondering what God has in mind this time?  Can't wait to find out. 

Anything But A Whim

It's been there since I was eleven and it's never left me.  It's as much a part of me as any earliest childhood memory, any earliest sense of identity, any first sense of calling.  This deep that calls to deep is as much a part of me as is the colour of my skin.  This magnetic pull to Asia is hardly new.

It looks new.  In fact, before our first trip in 2008, I had never been anywhere that required a passport.  I hadn't experienced any culture but my own.  Never been really all that far away from home.  Hawaii doesn't count.  Wonderful place.  Totally western, really, and everywhere it's about the tourists, so.

I think in those in between years, between 11 and 51, my soul forgot about Asia.  Somehow we forgot all about that earliest of callings.  I got busy getting married and having children and watching God unfold a ministry life I honestly never really set out to do.  But there I was, minding my Father's business, more or less, and the unfolding kept unfolding itself all the way back to half way around the world. 

And now?

I think that if you lived in a house for your whole life, and suddenly one day discovered a door you'd never known was there before.  And if you were more curious than you were afraid, and you opened that door.  And if you stepped into a room completely different from the rest of the house, but full of colour and sound and smell and love and wonder.  Then it would probably be like what it's like for me to know and be known by my Thai family.

The ministry there, at Hot Springs, is one that welcomes orphaned children into lives of sustenance and hope and love.  And for some unexplainable reason, it seems I have been adopted too.   And God is unfolding something there for me.  And I have so much more to learn and receive.

So I'm going by myself this fall.  In about four weeks, actually.  From October 22 to November 3.  Just me.  I am so looking forward to going with the Team again next March and for all God would want to do through our ESL Day Camp and any other opportunities to love and serve not just our kids but the neighbourhood around them.  But this trip is just for me. 

I am grateful for how Highview gets it.  How they let me go sometimes by myself like this.  I hope it's because they receive the benefits of a pastor who, bit by bit, understands more of God's whole-earth heart, and brings back something more than she left with. 

From Forever to Forever

As promised....some pictures from the great-gramma surprise.  Four generations of 'Ruth's'.  My Mom, Ruth Elaine; me Ruth Anne; my daughter, Kristyn Ruth, and my granddaughter, Abby Ruth.


And it all just reinforces what I've been meditating on of late.

Praise be to you O LORD
God of our father Israel,
from everlasting to everlasting.
1 Chronicles 29:10

This is only a small piece of a bigger prayer King David prayed at the beginning of something very important for the people of God - the building of the Temple.  And while the broader portion brings rich imagery and lots to ponder, it's this 'everlasting' bit that's caught my attention this morning.

"From forever to forever" is the more literal translation from the Hebrew.  Either way, it's a long time.  A long time to be God.

The eternal nature of God is beyond our understanding as finite beings.  For us, everything has a beginning and everything has an end.  At least in our physical realm.  But spiritually, we have the opportunity to unite ourselves with this Eternal Being.  And when we do, everything changes.  Time itself takes on entirely new dimensions.  What seems so urgent isn't so urgent.  Priorities realign themselves.

Even my own safety, my security, is altered in this timeless reality.  For is God is love and He is for me, then in every circumstance that has come before and every circumstance I will face ahead, and even in this moment, no matter how I'm experiencing it, Eternal God is right here, right 'now'.  And as I remember what has happened before, the hard times especially, but also the joyful, Eternal God was right there, right then.  And as I look ahead, Eternal God will be right there, right then.

I'm a summer girl.  And summer is unofficially over starting tomorrow.  Right now in my daily responsibilities there are some significant adjustments required with some potentially challenging unknowns ahead.  Standing on this particular threshold, I could feel anxious.

But today, at least, I am not.  There is a forever God watching over this entire process called my life.  And bigger than that, everything that seems so enormous and important to me is framed within God's broader plans and purposes.  His forever purposes.

My Mom's 86.  I'm 56.  My daughter's 31.  Abby's 7.  And God is forever watching over us all.  Time dimensions.

A Week of Marking Milestones

Milestone One - 35 Years

Niagara Falls.  Perhaps a bit cliche but it's where Ken and I both wanted to go for a quick getaway to celebrate our 35th wedding anniversary.   August 19, 1978.  Wow.

We couldn't have asked for better weather.  Perfect re-summer weekend (Sunday-Monday) with lots of walking along the Falls and through spectacular Queen Victoria park.  Dinner at Rainforest Cafe (just for the fun of it) on Sunday night.  Tiny bit of shopping for the grandkids, just because.  Bought myself a pair of just-a-bit-of-bling sunglasses for $5.00, and a stylin' straw sunhat because I hadn't thought to bring one with me.

But the best moments didn't have so much to do with where we were or what we were doing as much as it was about what we were saying to each other.  All throughout the weekend our conversation kept coming back to our deep awe and astonished gratitude for God's fierce faithfulness to hold us together and keep us together for three and a half decades.  We recounted the many and varied challenges our marriage has had to contend with.  We remembered out loud several points of parenting, both the happy and not so.   We marveled at outcomes we would never have dreamed possible in the midst of the darkest chapters.  As we walked and sat on benches under trees and beside fountains, we remembered together.  All day.

And we prayed.  That's how we started the day actually, on Monday, the 19th.  We just sat together by the window in our hotel room and spoke out loud with each other our thankfulness and our need for Him to keep on being very God in the midst of us.  Because we can't do these next 35 years without Him.

And we ate chocolate and ice cream, Ken and I respectively :).

Milestone Two - Long Awaited Closure

Tomorrow is the closing date on a piece of family property I have co-owned with another family member for about 25 years.  Before that it belonged to my mother, and before that it belonged to my mother's uncle.  It was lakefront, in the Kawarthas, and adjacent to the cottage property where I spent my childhood summers. Should have been a wonderful thing.  It wasn't. 

There are lots of reasons why a particular place becomes negatively associated in one's mind, and it has very little to do with the physicality of it.  Just....over time and for various reasons my desire to be released from this place has grown in intensity.  For some time it seemed I would never be free.  Complicating circumstances, overriding responsibilities, property lines and easements and disputes.  Sad.  Just a beautiful place, but it just wouldn't go gracefully.  I prayed so hard it could be called begging.  Three years, this last slog of it.

Then suddenly this summer, an offer, an agreement, signatures, and it's done.  Yesterday I signed it officially away.  It feels like something dead and heavy that I'd been dragging around by a filthy cord tied to my ankle has been cut off.  I am running!

We intend to use our portion of the money from the sale for redemptive, compassionate purposes.  Seems like the poetry of justice to do so. 

Milestone Three - Mom's Birthday

I'm surprising her.  With me, when I head to Lakefield this coming Sunday afternoon, will be two of Mom's now five great-grandchildren, plus their mother.  She hasn't seen any of them in three years.  Abby remembers Great Gramma, but Zachary, not so much.  He's such a big boy now.  Mom will be amazed, delighted.  At least I really hope so.

It's a long drive but we intend to shamelessly utilize the DVD player in the van and numb out the kids for the duration.  We'll stay overnight, have a birthday picnic in the park the next day, and then head home again. 

Pictures to follow.

All of these markings are making for something of a whirlwind week, with lots of time driving.  Even so, my spirit remains in a state of restedness and calm, something I've been happy and grateful to realize has lingered this past month home from the cottage. 

Treasures

In the sanctuary of my little garden space outside the somewhat traumatic events of the past few days seem somewhat less troubling.

Thursday. Started off well, with a great swim and sunshine enough to sit out by the pond. Finally! After several days of cloud or rain, I was anxious to get out there again. Maybe too anxious. Maybe I was in too much of a hurry. Tripped on a broken and protruding root, puncturing the skin between my second and third toes, left foot.

At first there was enough pain and blood to make me consider a trip to emerg. But some pressure, ice and elevation, along with a solid dose of Motrin got me through the day.

And it was great day, really. Loving how these first weeks back are affording me some long range planning luxuries. And this week other Staff members began to return from vacations. So the happy quiet of the past few weeks gave way this week to the happy hellos and back at it attitude of the Team. I even got a surprise gift from a friend at the end of the day.

But by supper, all I really wanted to do was soak my more-swollen-now foot and maybe watch another episode of Downton Abbey.

Ken was already home and on the phone with the police when I walked in the door. We'd had a "home invasion". Ken's lap top, cash, DVDs, my rolling napsac to carry it all away in.....and the family heirloom diamond ring.

This was Ken's grandmother's engagement ring. Four generations. Entrusted to me. Most expensive piece of jewelry I owned. Other than my own engagement and wedding rings, most important. Gone. Likely to pay for the destruction of a soul through drugs, according to the police officer.

Gone.

I'd worn it all last year during my personal "jubilee", marking 50 years of following Jesus. To remind me. I did not earn this ring. I did not deserve it. I only wore it with respect and joy. And now it's gone.

It's been a few days. Our spirits are more settled. We're letting things go, but still noticing. Last night we thought we'd watch that episode of Downton Abbey we'd not got to the night before, but.... It was one of the DVDs that was taken. Okay...let it go. It was just a thing.

So was the ring. Sort of.

We've been praying for our intruder. We've been asking that, since he or she was in our house, that some of the redemptive blessings we have known in this house would follow them. Yes, we are praying that they would be caught, but only because we believe that a life is spiraling downward and is in need of God's great rescue. We'd like our stuff back, I'm not going to lie. But the better story would end with a reclaimed destiny. I'd love to work with God on that story, if that's what He chooses to do with our prayers.

And this morning the swelling is down on my foot. I am quiet and deeply comfortable on the patio. Looking forward to spending time with friends by a lake later today.

Treasures are relative things. I have so many unstealable ones.
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Outside

I am hoping to spend most of the weekend outside.

They're calling for rain on Friday night. But otherwise it's looking good for some time to be still out on the patio, now that I have it mostly the way I like it.

Or busy finally clearing off the large branch that fell during the storm on July 19, now that Ken bought another chain saw for the house (having left one at the cottage).

Or mowing the lawn now that time and weather might overlap.

Ate outside today. A delightful luncheon on the back deck of my so-gifted friend, Juanita. Sunshine and stuffed mushroom caps and meaningful conversation all at once, and all of it delicious!

Came outside just before supper. Here now. Outside.

I think I am a summer girl.

Lots of life happens outside at Hot Springs too. All year long. The main dining room for the kids is actually a shelter, so everyone eats outside for three meals a day all year long. And then, just life. The walking to and from each building of the 'complex'. Playing football or waterballoon toss in the front yard. Collecting red ant larvae for snacks. Laundry and gardening and sweeping and watering. All outside. All the time.

Probably I need to be outside more in the winter. But as a summer girl, it seems I just connect better with my own soul and with God's heart without the constriction of four walls. Especially when it's warm enough to be out here blogging, for example.

Father, Prabadah, thank You for Your garden presence.


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