A Needful Thing

Believe me, it's not easy for me to do this.

I am getting ready to take an extended time away from my responsibilities as pastor of Highview Community Church - a church of extraordinary and astonishing people with extraordinary and astonishing hearts for God, and a pulse of movement and mission that makes her just one of the most favourite things in my life. She has a plan and a purpose to make a difference in our city, and in Regions Beyond, and in the hearts and lives of anyone within our collective circle of influence, for eternity. She is a place where coming together to engage in corporate worship with a phenomenal God, is a strong desire and a weekly reality. She has weathered storms that should have demolished us, and refused to give up in the face of the evils that have come against us. She is not a perfect place, but, when needed a contrite place, an honest place, a place where stumbling spiritual-journeyers like me, can stumble and journey in the company of grace and love.

And I'm going away from all that. For eight weeks. And it's not easy.

Last fall I requested and was granted a four week unpaid study break to be attached to my allotted four weeks of vacation time. That will have me away from Highview from June 7 to August 2 inclusive. The impetus for me making such a request was a growing understanding that the demands of pastoring Highview, and her particular story of the past two years, were accumulating in my spirit and psyche in such a way that some time away was going to be necessary. Really necessary. Necessary to regroup, rethink, refocus, refresh.

But believe me, it's not easy.

I LOVE Highview and all that I get to be and do as her pastor. It's not easy for me to leave for this long because I love what I do. It's a dream come true that I get to spend my day and my spirit fully engaged for the kingdom. And that's as true as I can speak it.

And then, the last 10% of truth? It's not easy for me to leave because, despite some serious soul work in this department, in the less traveled places of my soul, I still hold on to some kind of perverted thinking that the world needs me to run it. There, I said it. And that part of it makes it really, really good for me and for Highview that I go away from time to time.

So, it's not easy, but it is necessary.

I'm tired. I'm tired in deeper places, places that warn me it's time for time.

Pastor and author, Gordon MacDonald once said, "I came to realize that the most important gift, I could offer my congregation was a well-rested soul." I am currently not well rested. I have no gift to give you right now.

So even though it's not easy, I'm going away. Don't get me wrong. I fully intend to enjoy and receive what God's got in mind for me during this time. Most of it will be spent at the cottage, a place of holy quietness where I will read and sleep and cross stitch and study and feed the chipmunks and pick blueberries and go out in the canoe in the mist of the sunrise.

I will quiet my soul, let Him restore me.

I am beyond words grateful for those, so many of you, who will be making it all happen while I'm gone. For Derek and Paula and Renee and Ian, especially, in their Staff roles and how their own spiritual energies are devoted to Highview. For our Elders and their role as Shepherds. For the Creative Planning Team and all the Front Line Leaders who know how to do what they do so well and serve our church so faithfully. For every single volunteer in every single ministry role, who make up the extraordinary and astonishing place of grace that I know is Highview.

And while I'm gone, here's what I promise you. I will rest. I will listen. I will receive. I will sit down and shut up. And I will let God orchestrate whatever music He chooses, to bring me back to kingdom responsibilities, and bring me back to you, strong and ready and real.

And, oh yeah, I will eat jujubes.