It's time to talk about it here.
Our beloved cottage is up for sale.
I am ready to talk about it now, but even just then, I had to stop typing for a second and give that statement some space.
There.
Okay.
Obvious to anyone who's read this blog even once before is the fact that the good blessing of our cottage property, and the 100 years Ken's family has been in possession of it, is of immense spiritual importance to my soul, and to our family as a whole. People up here talk about having some of their DNA in the rocks, of this being a constant place over a lifetime of many city moves, their sanctuary, their sacred place. So we're not the only ones who acknowledge a deep emotional connection to this place.
To be clear, this potential sale does not mean we need to leave. That's a significant piece of the bigger picture.
This is only one of two properties side by side that Ken and I acquired in a mixture of inheritance and previous buyouts as the generational story of our family's time on these waters has unfolded. Only one. It is the smaller portion, but also the more inhabited, comfortable portion, and the one we have made all our memories in.
But it's only one portion. Or did I say that already?
The reason for the sale is not tragic or unreasoned. We only own half. The other relative-owner is no longer able to use it at all, and it's time for a change. Thing is, we can't do a buy out without jeopardizing our retirement plan finances. Simply that. Selling is the wise and reasoned thing to do given the circumstances.
Most of this happened last season already. That's when the property was first listed. As you already know, neither the market nor the economy are exactly booming, and we have had minimal activity on the real estate website. As expected, we are now closing off a second season with nothing budging. So, there's no immediate urgency on this. Just time to process and feel and let it be what it is.
I am reading through my journal from last season (an annual practice). That's when we were doing the majority of the work to prepare for listing, and I was in the first stages of trying to let go. As I read, and pause, and pray, the Spirit leads me gently into some of the deeper caverns of myself to sit with me for a bit.
It seems He wants to chat about greed.
Greed (Miriam Webster)
"A selfish and excessive desire for more of something
(such as money) than is needed."
I resist. I consider myself to be more on the generous side than anything. Who would call me greedy? But then I lower my defenses and let it be possible. What if I am? What if the threat of this loss makes me desire it all the more? What if I confessed my common fantasy, one this sale has exacerbated, of having all the abundance of resources to keep both properties and continue with renovations to accommodate our now-10-of-us family? To have all the fancy boats and docks and decks that go with them?
Luke 12:15
"Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed;
life does not consist in an abundance of possessions."
Writing it out like this, here and in my journal, I can see it for what it is; a selfish and excessive desire for more of something that is needed. Yup. There it is. I mean come on! We have a place to live in Kitchener...AND this place here. Really!
Yet while I've been processing this for several months already, this is still kind of raw for me. I'm sorry if any part of this makes you uncomfortable. On the other hand, if you're reading here, you probably already embrace a commitment to honest growth, and understand how important it is to me as a preacher/teacher who often talks about honest growth. Or otherwise, I risk criticism and judgement, maybe even gossip. I'm okay with that. This is important.
There's something about the threat of losing something important that forces a rethink of what is important truly.
Because even if anyone approached us right now and offered to help us keep the place, my immediate and unhesitating response would be to ask that such funds be redirected instead to New Family Foundations' New Facility Project, building a place for orphan and at-risk children in Thailand to live and thrive and be unleashed into their best futures. Or if you are not so inclined, perhaps I would direct you to invest in supportive housing for those who have no home at all.
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Because sitting with the Spirit in these darker caverns of me, I am offered some medicine, a course of treatment for the malady of greed. It's layered and nuanced and deserves a writing space of it's own, so...later.
For now dear friends, that's the news.
Thanks for journeying with me.
Thanks for the honest growing we can do together.
It means a lot.
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