Answers to Prayer We Don't Like But then We Do

 There are some really beautiful pictures in my file of Singha Park, but I'll get to that in a second.  But for now, take a look at these high powered 'industrial' water sprinklers.  They're important to this story.

For reference, Singha Park is a large and sprawling family attraction close to Chiang Rai that covers 12.8 square kilometers of gardens, lakes and beautiful natural landscapes.  

To make it possible to cover all that the park has to offer, folks rent golf carts, which I am pretty sure was Suradet's favourite part of the time there, just by the way he was giggling as he drove us around.

The day was getting hotter as we took in the various stops, and I was glad for my large bottle of water and my hat.  Still, here we were on our long planned for Chiang Rai excursion, and I did not want to spoil anything but another little episode of dehydration.  

We stopped to feed the zebras, laughing at their teeth.  And said hello to the small animals in the mini zoo.

Of course you have to take a picture with the yellow flowers.   And under the sign.

A lot of it was out in the wide open, and even with a very light cotton dress and my sun hat, I was really feeling it.  I started praying some of those little whisper prayers you pray when you're just staying connected with God as you go along in a slightly distressed kind of way.  Nothing huge.  We were having fun.  But I really wanted to NOT get so hot that I stopped us from doing so.  So I was just keeping it open to let Him know.  

"Thanks for this amazing time, this beautiful day.  Please keep me in the okay zone so we can keep on making these good memories.  But whatever, Lord.  You're in charge.  Up to You."  That sort of thing.

Bell sat down on a large rock thinking it would be good for a photo shoot.

Personally, I was ready to get going, because at least on the golf cart there was something of a breeze.  But this delay was actually quite perfect, timewise.  Because the picture-taking had to stop because the large sprinklers were coming around.  At first just a small spray over the rocks, enough to get us moving.  But when we got in the golf cart and started to drive off, the spray followed us.  And it got stronger and more.  And I was sitting on the sprinkler side.  And Suradet tried to out run it, but this was a golf cart after all.  

The water kept coming at us, on that side of the cart.  And each time it was a bit more, and then more, and then a complete and totally soaking to the skin, all down my right side from my shoulders to my feet.  Because of the sunroof on the cart this did not drench my hair.  I'm vain enough to mention this.  But the rest of me?  At least all on that side of me?  Completely soaked.  

It was hilarious fun.  We were all screaming at the water kept coming at us, and everyone got a little wet.  But I got the brunt of it.

And then I realized something.  It had totally cooled me off!  My body temperature was so much lower now!  And the added benefit of the breeze from driving in the cart only made it better.  And for the rest of the time at the park, I was pleasantly damp in the best kind of way.

I don't know about you, but sometimes I think God is kind of fun.  I truly and totally believe He would go to the kind of trouble to work out that dousing for me, given He already cares enough about me to know the number of hairs on my head (Matthew 10:26-31), and also how fussy I am about how it dries without styling.  

And it also occurs to me that sometimes the answers we're after come to us in surprising ways.  Sometimes it's messy.  Not what we were expecting at all.  But okay in the end.  

None of this is to simplify the more complicated ways we often experience God's answers to prayer, or our perception of the absence of them.  Life is more complex than a fun soaking on a hot day.  But sometimes, sometimes I feel His presence in such loving playful ways like this.  And I think that's okay.

Hydration Meditation

O God, you are my God.

Earnestly I seek You,

my soul thirsts for You, 

my body longs for You

in a dry and weary land 

where there is no water.

Psalm 63:1

A truly appreciated feature of this particular time at Hot Springs is how very well and strong and rested I've felt (almost) the whole time I've been here.  

[Pause here to take a long swig from my water bottle.]

It can be a thing, the physicality of the whole deal.  I mean, just the travel itself, walking literally kilometers in airports just to get to your gate, just so you can then sit for more hours than is recommended for one's general well-being and circulation.  My wrist watch gizmo thinks it's funny, telling me that I've been sitting for too long.  Ya think?  All the while hurtling your body through all those time zones.

[Pause for another drink of water.]

Then when you get here there's he different food, and the potential for picking up little microscopic friends that want to help your gut clean house, so to speak.  Insect bites can sometimes cause a bigger reaction than at home, not sure why.  And well, there's being done in by the heat.  Once I actually passed out, in a public setting no less, and required a trip to a clinic to check things out.  And then there was the time when my appendix decided to rupture a mere three weeks before an intended visit (ahem...summer of 2024), and that was fun.  In the 16 years I've been travelling here, one to three times per year, I've experienced the gamut more or less.  

But over that time, appendix not withstanding, I've adapted and adjusted and pretty much know how to better keep myself well and strong and rested.  Hint:  It has a LOT to do with accepting the rhythms of a tropical environment and laying low in the afternoon heat.  It seems to be working.

[Another swig.]

The quick bounce back from jet lag, jumping right in with my Thai appetite, and the clarity of mind and spirit I've enjoyed right out of the gate has made this particular visit memorable in the 'how's my body handling this?' department.  By the way, this is something I ask more and more as I head towards my 70th birthday (2027).

I did have a quick 12 hour stint with dehydration the other day though.  It was short-lived, but a potent reminder of how much I have to keep my fluid intake in mind.  All the time.  Every day. 

[Oh yeah.  Water.]

We were out in the sun for a bit.  Not long at all.  Just the walk from the overflow parking to where the graduation ceremony was taking place at the school where Chalon and Atom were marking their moments.  Chalon has completed high school.  Atom grade 9, which is the end of middle school here.  I had water with me, but the morning had started out so nice and cool, and it didn't even seem that hot yet.  Plus, I was taken with the goings on, the spaces all set up for photo shoots, and the different ways a graduate is celebrated here, with pop up booths all along the path to purchase flowers and bouquets of candy and lanyards attached to messages of congratulations.  Students were handing out little thank you packets, tying strings around each others' wrists, and taking pictures.  So many pictures.

I had my hat with me, which I needed, but it also made it awkward for hugging.  You don't really give good hugs if you think your hat is going to tumble off the back of your head, I find.  Never mind. 

Maybe time to take another sip of water.  Oh, more pictures.  And let's go check out that one booth.  And here are a group of friends who want to give something to Chalon.  And it all takes its own time.  That was the morning.  Out for a quick lunch, then back home.

I noticed something was amiss when I woke up from my afternoon rest with difficulty.  Really had to haul myself up and out of bed to prepare for the children to come by after school, which is part of the lovely rhythm of things on a normal day.  And that brought me out into the warmer middle room of the guest house.  And I knew then I just needed to drink more water.  Lots more. 

[Drinking again.] 

Evening worship was....okay.  The heat had cranked up by now, and I wasn't feeling quite myself.  I had a rather energetic song (Your Everlasting Love) on tap for our time together, but I switched it out to Lion Hunt instead, because for that one I can stay in a chair, and anyways Goon had put in his request that very same morning, so.

Good news is that most of what I would call my recovery time happened overnight, so it didn't really interrupt the flow of my responsibilities here.

Bad news is that I had a rough night.

It all turned around by mid morning the next day.  No harm, no foul.  Back to my normal appetite and energies.  And last night, we did do Your Everlasting Love (I keep waiting for it to lose its appeal, but we keep getting new children so....).

[Just remembering all the jumping and actions of the song really calls for a drink.]

But back to that bad night for a moment.  Dehydration like that is far more than just feeling thirsty.  It almost goes cellular.  Feels desperate.  Cognitively, I know what's going on and what to do about it.  But my body is telling my nervous system that something is wrong, and the 'eeerrrggghhh' of that (wish I could record the sound effects here) is kind of intense.  Almost impossible to relax into that space.  And one glass of water doesn't fix it.

At the risk of ending this post on a rather obvious note, I can't help but make the comparison to times when I've let myself get spiritually dehydrated.  Sneaks up on you.  Can make you feel desperate.  Problem is, it's harder, maybe not as easy to figure out what's wrong.  Our autonomic nervous systems don't necessarily kick into place quite as automatically.  And sometimes I can take a whole lot longer than 12 hours to make things right.  

[Longer pause to finish off the bottle.]

And while I believe that, just by virtue of capacity, our humanity will always feel more than a bit desperate for God as the psalmist describes, its vital to make sure we don't let our spirits dry out.

And here I feel the temptation to launch into a description of all the nourishing, life-giving practices that have hydrated my soul over the years; the favourite ones, the ones that I don't prefer but are really good for me, the daily, frequent intake of all that God has to offer.

But maybe another time.

Tonight we're having a party to celebrate the end of the school year.   The children's Sponsors all contributed, and we're going all out!

I'll just be sure to drink lots of water.

Doodles for Peace

Finally, my brothers and sisters,

whatever is true, whatever is right, whatever is noble,

whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable --

whatever is is excellent or worthy of praise,

think on these things.

And the peace of God will be with you.

Philippians 4:8-9

I'd forgotten about the calming power of the pencil crayon doodle combo.  

We are colouring together, the children and I, a little bit after school, after all the homework is done.  Some are on the porch with a puzzle, and others are batting around the Canadian balloons we found in one of the bins.  But several of us have settled into a quiet way of being together, just doodling and colouring.

 

Just on my own, without any indication to the children whatsoever, I experimented with a word doodle connecting the letters with hearts by a series of parallel lines, some straight some wavy, and all for fun.  I'm not even paying that much attention, to be honest, until I glance over at Jua beside me and realize he is using my doodle as a pattern.  Tharit too.

But each with their own flair, their own chosen medium.  Because markers are cool too.

I say nothing, but realize that I am feeling inexplicably amused and pleased about this.  Can't help smiling on their interest and concentration and imitation.  We keep doodling, Jua and Tharit and I.  Across the table Beemai is creating something that will later demonstrate a big step in her own creative expression.  So much colour!

I am aware of the puzzle-makers' voices just outside, as they negotiate who is doing the edge pieces.  And of the dogs barking, and of the sounds of birds I couldn't name.  And the fan, because the room is warm, but not too much so.  All is quiet otherwise.  

I am fully in this moment.

Unexpectedly, I am singing a lullaby I sang over my own children and grandchildren. 

"Today while the blossoms still cling to the vine, 

I'll taste your strawberries and drink your sweet wine.  

A million tomorrows will all pass away, 

'ere I forget all the joy that is mine....

today."

(New Christy Minstrels, 1964)

I actually don't finish the song, because I choke up just a bit with emotion I didn't expect to be quite so close to the surface.  Because...how long has it been since my spirit rested in this much in-the-moment contentment?  And because...how true it is that strawberries and wine are sweet only in passing, and we absolutely must taste the goodness of the right-here-right-now any time it offers itself to us.

There is trouble all around the world today.  I know this because the internet reaches us even here.  But right now, right here, in this moment, all is well.  All is true and right and pure and noble and lovely and admirable, and excellent and praiseworthy.  And I choose to think on these things, and be in these things.

And the God of peace is with us.  I can smell it.

When You've Lost a Tooth and You're Reworking Your Smile

This is Micah.

One of the smiliest boys you'll ever meet.

But right now he's got a little problem.

He's just lost an upper front tooth.

And it feels weird.

He's not sure how to work his smile anymore.

He's trying though,

and that's what counts.

I'm hoping to catch a more candid shot when he's not looking, and not trying so hard.  

Fun fact:  In Thailand when children lose a tooth, they don't put it under their pillow.  Ew.  And who ever heard of a Tooth Fairy anyways?  No, what you do when you lose a tooth is you take it and throw it up on the roof.  For luck.  Sounds ridiculous...until you remember the Tooth Fairy.

These are the delightful, normal, mundane things of life with growing children that are truly splendiferous to report.  These children come to us with anything but 'normal' stories, whatever 'normal' is in our own minds.  That Micah can be here to receive proper dental care, among all the other benefits, is amazing in and of itself. 

And then, personally, that I can be here to congratulate him and ask to take his picture, is just a strong and simple gift to my heart.

And it's not even the highlight of my visit so far.  That happened when I, on purpose, didn't take my camera down to the truck on my first morning here.  I had gotten in very late the night before, long after the children were in bed.  And I had slept through, also on purpose, morning worship to help adjust to the jet lag a little.  So I hadn't seen any of the children yet.

As I came around the corner, it was Jua who saw me first.  He gave a little Jua-like start of surprise (if you know him, it's kind of his signature move) and called out my name.  Then he started running, but not before he alerted the other kids that I was there.  That started one of those wonderful mini stampedes of wide-open-arms running hugs.  The best way to be swarmed.  

I didn't take my phone/camera, which I'm usually prone to have with me everywhere, just to be able to catch the photo so I can send all this goodness back home to all of you.  But there's also something very good just to be present in the moment.  Especially moments that involve enthusiastic greetings from children who know they are loved.

I am grateful, so grateful, for an uneventful trip here.

Jet lag is minimal, and I'm attributing that to being exhausted I before I left.  It seems to have sorted itself out in a lovely way by the required first days of rest and recovery.

Feeling good, with an appetite even, which is unusual for the first few days.

Already feeling productive in what I've been able to do in the quiet of this place once the kids have gone to school.

Weather is splendid.  Not too hot yet.  Great for sleeping with the windows open, which is my favourite way to sleep.

All in all, a fabulous first few days.

Now, if I can just catch Micah in one of his famous, wide mouth smiles.  

 

Preboarding Rambles

 

Happy to report that so far everything here at Pearson is running ticketyboo! Good weather too! This is a relief after all the hooha last week.

Flying Korean Air this time, and did a full online boarding pass this time, my first time. Still required a check in at a self-serve kiosk, but it spits out your baggage tickets, and then you head over to have things weighed.

I was able to reactivate my Morning Calm frequent flyer membership (it's been a while) and got through the short line. And I got a special blue tag on my bags, which means it should all come off first in Chiang Mai. Also, I'll be able to board with all the people traveling first class....not sitting there though, but that's okay.

What a happy frenzy these past several weeks have been, with the big snow storm factoring in to last Sunday's panel about our last trip in November, catching the advance poles to vote (please everyone do!), the Haiti Dinner and Auction on Saturday, preaching on Sunday, and an early morning departure from Kitchener this morning.

Right about now, having to sit for most of the next 14 hours (first flight) doesn't sound too bad at all.

In case you don't know, I'm heading for three weeks on a solo trip to Hot Springs (Thailand) for some visioning, longer range planning, children's room upgrades, and a little side trip up to Chiang Rai to reward our amazing home parents.

Thank you for all the extra love and support, especially from but not restricted to the Sponsors of our children. I'll make sure to send pictures of our end of school party, and any and all of the cuteness and mischief I can capture.

And to my amazing husband. Thanks for the drive to the airport this morning. Hope you don't rattle around too much in all our 625 square feet all by yourself while I'm gone :). Miss you already.

A Friyay for Canada!

 

I'm not a faithful enough hockey fan to climb on this wagon right now. But if there's room for anything these days, it's a little Canadian patriotism. So I'll jump on and ride this for a bit.

Way to go Canadian Team! Feels like we all needed this right about now. Uplifts politic-weary spirits on this wintry Friday morning. And the symbolism in these rhetoric-laden days is not lost on us.

And also.

Sports rivalries being what they are, there is an added layer to this game in this historical moment that bodes us be wary. We caution ourselves not to entrench ourselves in adversarial ways of thinking that begin to manifest in petty behaviours and hardened hearts both.

Can I just say, I am not in favour of anyone's national anthem being booed by anyone for any reason. If I'm not mistaken (open to being corrected here) in this particular series of games, we started it. I feel the temptation myself, if I'm honest. But...my Canadian friends, we can do better than this.

God keep our land gloriously free of hatred, even as we stand steadfast to advocate for what it means to be Canadian. And even as I utter this prayer, I know that He turns it back to me, to us, and gives us the mandate and the tenacity to choose to love instead.

And to my Christian friends on both sides of this magnificent border, can I just say:

We are in this together. We are the Church together. We are in a unique position to hold on to grace, and stay fiercely committed to showing who we are by how we love one another.

At least, that's what Jesus said.
"By this everyone will know that your are My disciples, if you love one another." John 13:35

So let's cheer for our Team, advocate for our political rights, take action where and when we are called to do so. And as we are protecting all that we hold dear, let's include protecting our own hearts from anything that would turn us into who we don't want to be.

I don't know. Maybe you're all good on this.
I just know what can so easily happen inside my own soul.
Especially these days.

Now...I only wish I had a hockey jersey I could wear today! :)

Already Yes

Let's play a game.

It's called "Find the Thai Bible."

I'll give you a hint I wish I had when I started this game myself.

It's on the bookcase pictured.

For context, I'll say two things.

First is about timing.

I've been searching for my Thai Bible since January 8th or so.

That's when Ken and I moved over from staying in our son's home to setting up here, in our brand new little house.  One of my first priorities was to see just how many books I could fit on the shelves that were assigned to the space that constitutes my office.  I was so curious to see how this would work.  So books were the first thing I sorted and put away.  Boxes and boxes of them, most of which were packed up last June.  But also, the books I had with me when I got back from Thailand last November, my Thai Bible among them.  In other words, I knew for sure the Bible was on the premises.  

In the last three weeks, the search has intensified.  That's when I've been working on Thai language prep for teaching Bible stories and preaching sermons while I'm there.  I can get what I need online, true.  But for anyone who knows, you know how it is with a well-used, well-loved Bible; how it feels in your hand, and how it's just easier to find the places you need to get to.  Plus, this Bible has important significance (that I'll hint at later).  I really wanted to find my Thai Bible.

The second thing is about proximity.

The pictured shelf is to my immediate right as I sit at my desk.  There's my light, then the printer, then the books.  Right there.  The whole time.

My Thai Bible was within my visual range the entire time I was looking for it.

See it?

I'll give a better clue.  A closer shot.

Here.

 

Now do you see it?

I'll give another hint.

It has a grey duct tape spine.

Yup.  That thicker one to the right of the candle.

Okay...more context needed here.

This is the Bible I wrote about in a previous post way back in the spring.  You can read about it here.  The Bible is, in a very real way, part of the inspiration that led us to this move in the first place.  The story behind it is that Yupa helped me prolong the life of this particular Bible by providing me with the duct tape needed to keep it together.  

Thing is, I knew that.  While I've been looking for my Thai Bible, I knew it should have a grey duct-taped spine.  It should have been obvious.  Also obvious is the fact that all the other books on the shelf are language books.  Not Thai, but still.  A perfectly logical place for me to put my Thai Bible until I would need it to prepare for the next trip.

In retrospect I should have made a little note for myself on my calendar.  I do that sometimes.  "Thai Bible is on top shelf of unit immediately to right of desk."  It would have helped.  Although it's entirely likely that, when I put it where I put it, I thought to myself, 'It will be right in plain sight if I leave it here.'

So, a really loud yay for finding my Thai Bible!  Made my day, to be honest.

And I can't wait to tell my friends on our Prayer Team at Highview later this morning, because two weeks ago, just as a small personal aside, I asked them to pray that I would find it.  In fact, when they did one friend suggested that we would 'look forward to laughing at the silly place it would be found.'  Ha!

I wonder how many other answers to prayer are like this?  The yes answer has already been given.  It's right there in plain sight.  We're just not tuned in enough to see it.  Or it's arrived all covered in very ordinary looking duct tape and we can't tell it's what we've been waiting for.  And maybe our prayer now should be, "Lord, open my eyes to see Your intimate involvement, Your very real presence here."

I will lay that down lightly now.  Not sure how far I can or should go with this.  Just some fleeting thoughts as I sit here feeling a little foolish and a lot grateful.  

Going into Wednesday with eyes wide open.

Praying the same for you.