Between a Kidney Stone and a Surrendered Place

 

This picture is not from this morning, although it could be and I wish it was.

Right now I am avoiding too much physical exertion in the attempt to allow my body all the energy it needs to be rid of a teeny little bit of collected minerals wrecking havoc simply by being where they have no business to be. My kidney.

Thursday.

I leave for Thailand on Monday.

I know.

Today is like every other day since I first contacted my doctors (GP and urologist) about the current situation. Waiting for something definitive to happen.

It's a race between three things; the stone passing on its own (I have a good reputation here), hearing back from my doctors' offices for test results and consultation (varying degrees of reputation here), and leaving for the airport at 7 a.m. Monday morning (departure is set for 11:40 a.m. and that's the most-certain of all three things).

At this moment I am doing all that needs doing as if I am going. Of course I am. Bible Lessons planned out. ESL and teaching supplies all packed. Writing all the emails and packing all the materials and getting myself ready for the flight.

And drinking water.
Ridiculous amounts of water.
And resting my body.
And staying calm and positive.

And the last one is only because I believe in a God who loves me and knows everything, and to Whom I've given permission to use me in whatever way He sees fit.

For those of us who sing those songs in church, remember?
"Take my life and let it be, always only all for Thee."
"Where You go I'll go, where You stay I'll stay...I will follow."
"All that I am, I place into Your loving hands, for I am Yours."

Christmas is coming.
Reminds me of what I consider to be some of the most powerful words in all the Bible.
Mary's words.
"I am the Lord's servant. May it be to me as You have said."
Luke 1:48

Echoed by Jesus Himself in Gethsemane.
"Not My will, but Yours be done."
Luke 22:42

No definitive decision has been made yet.
I'll let you know as soon as that happens.
The Team is aware.
Suradet and Yupa are aware.
We're all on standby.
And I feel terrible that it's me putting us all through this.
But also humbled, in a good way.
Humanity is fragile even on our good days.
We just don't always have a "in your face" reality to remind us.

Okay, on to some more of that preparation and packing I was talking about. But first, another long swig.