What if Less is Actually Less?

An unusual feature for me this Christmas is how much I'm NOT doing. No Christmas cards, far less in decorating, very pared down gifting. Other than some market visits when I was still in Thailand, I've barely been out shopping at all.

This has been driven by realism and capacity more than any new philosophy or approach to the season. I've just had far more than the usual going on since mid-September, right up to my return to Canadian soil on December 4. Missed out entirely on the 'ramp up' to the season and the practice of having a lot done well in advance to give me space to reflect and enjoy. The commitment to being a good steward of my energies, to still having some of that reflective space, and to make people the priority has 're-jigged' a lot of what I usually expect from myself over the holidays.

This is good. I think. I hope.

I hope this uneasiness I'm feeling about whether or not it's all 'enough' is good for me. I'm living in the tension between mental assent to what's actually doable in a healthy way, and the emotional need to make sure people know I love them, which is what I believe all the fuss is about at Christmas anyways.

I asked myself the questions again this morning. In these days when I've checked off 99% of the lists of what I decided was important, and the Christmas pressure is dialed right down to low, I can't seem to keep wondering.

Am I forgetting anyone? Have I done enough? Will my family and friends feel the love? Lavishly (not to be confused with fancy or expensive), is how God loved on us that first Christmas. This 'unspeakable gift' (2 Corinthians 9:15) sets the tone for gifts born of love. I feel the pull of 'one more thing.'

Then another thought, right on the heels of these questions. If my family and friends don't know that I love them except for what happens at Christmas, then something is very wrong.

Less is less only if less is what's happening all year long. More is less if it's a desperate scramble at Christmas to convey what I failed to say every month before it.

And so I will stay mindful of all the ways I can still be fear-driven instead of Spirit-led.
I will stay quiet in this space of 'enough.'
I will let love give me permission to simplify.

Wishing you all a love-simplified Christmas.