I've thought about trying something like that out. Especially on days when I'm feeling particularly ministered-out and think that, yes, it would be nice to be ministered to in that way.
But then I remember Thailand. The sweet gentleness and humility of the people. The slower pace of life, at least here in the rural north. The deep spirituality of believers here. Their astonishing prayer life, their enthusiastic worship, their persistant praise.
I remember how well cared for I am when I'm here, how the potent combination of cultural practice and profound gratitude provide me a position of priority I dare not abuse or take for granted. Instead I find within this place of being esteemed, a choice to practice my own humility; a humility of gratefully accepting and allowing myself to be served.
Within this particular kind of renewal, I find my ears more open to the voice of God. His whispers come at any time. Watching Him paint a sunrise across the tips of mountains. Hearing Him soak up the delight of childrens strong voices singing. Glancing back to the crowded happy passengers in the back of the truck. Lying in my bed, lights out, having just said, both in English and Thai, "Goodnight, I love you" to the girls sleeping with me that night, and hearing them respond, both in Thai and English, "Love you too!". And God's enormous love washes over me, and I hope the girls can't tell I'm crying.
To renew this Pastor's heart I only need to be allowed to fly away to the other side of the world for a while. Just to BE here, in this land so strange and so familiar all at the same time.
I am heading into my last days here. There is most certainly an eager anticipation to be near to those I love at home. And a readiness to re-engage with the abundant life God has graciously given me in my home land of Canada. But for these next few days, I will just BE. And I will pay attention.
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
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