It's All Going to Be Okay

I wrecked my phone.  I'll start there.

Last Friday, a week ago now, I went over to finish up the task of loading bins from a pile of construction junk beside the bunkie.  It was hot.  The sun was bright.  No pockets. 

I didn't want to leave my phone on the stairs where it would be exposed, and also possibly easily knocked off onto the rocks below the staircase.  And, I didn't simply walk up the stairs and leave my phone inside the bunkie, because I didn’t want to forget it when I was done.

So I tucked my phone into a place women often tuck things to keep them safe.  I don’t mean to be indelicate, but sports bras are particularly good for this sort of thing.  Enough said. Moving right along to the story.

I worked hard.  I'll remind you that it was hot.  Let's just say my phone got a little (ahem) damp.  Enough to mess with the touch screen.  Enough that, over the next five days, no amount of drying-out tricks recommended online could remedy the problem.  My phone was rendered useless in that I could not even draw the pattern to unlock the screen.  Nothing.  It was declared a done deal.  We’d have to see if we could get it repaired next time we were in town. 

Over the next several days, other than the normal frustrations of not having your ‘device’ available (yes, I did notice how many times I reached for it that first day), I wasn’t terribly inconvenienced other than not being able to respond to texts.  Basically everything I do on my phone I also do on my computer, except phone calls and texts.  Oh, and my camera.  I really missed my camera. 

And I felt kind of stupid.  What an expensive mistake.  Here at a time when Ken and I are practicing a new kind of frugality, I go and wreck my phone.  If it can’t be easily repaired, then I’ll have to buy a new one.  Phones are not cheap.  This is not money I expected to spend right now.  Ken was practical and kind enough to point out that I hadn’t had a new phone is about six years, so it was probably time for an upgrade anyways.  But I still felt bad.

Wednesday was town day.   It was Ken’s idea to forget about going to a repair place.  “Let’s just bite the bullet and get you a new one.”  He’d looked online, and if we checked out the Mobile Shop in the Supercentre in Midland, we might get Optimum points towards groceries.  So, okay.

It’s hard to describe what happened when we got there.  A cascade of good surprises tumbled out at us almost like a “too good to be true” prank.  I won’t even try to include all the numbers, but the phone that most closely replaced what I already had was on sale, and this was the last day, and there was one left. Of course, this being a new model, everything on it was more and faster and better, including the camera.  The renegotiations on my account, including the cost of the new phone, was a significant reduction in current monthly payments.  Yes, I said ‘reduction.’   And to top it all off, the points thing was enough to include a good quality phone case, the charger block, plus $200 worth for groceries. 

What?!?!

Something that appeared at first to be an unexpected hardship, had turned out instead to be an unexpected benefit.

We got back into the car and whooped it up for a bit.  And stopped and thanked God for looking after us.

It was such an encouragement right now to get this great deal; to have this unfortunate ‘expense’ turn into a fortunate ‘gift.’  Felt like a confirmation that this direction we’re going is the right one, and that, under God’s watchful eye, we’re going to be okay.

So, thank you Lord, for Your tender care to my relatively small, but expensive, situation.  Thank you for a lower monthly payment, a better phone, AND a better camera!  Thank you for all those free groceries!

And then I couldn’t help but remember all the times in my life when this very same thing has happened.  When circumstances that at first seemed difficult, unwanted, even devastating and grief-ridden, have in hindsight ended up being gateways to blessings that I would not have experienced otherwise.   All the times when God has turned tragedy into triumph.  When what at first seemed bad has ended up for my good.  And not just for me, but all the people who, by proxy and default, have been blessed in the wake of it.

I think the most classic story in the Bible about this is Joseph being sold into Egypt, then ending up second in command to Pharoah.  His own words express the acknowledgement of God’s grander purposes in the writing of his story.  In offering forgiveness to the brothers who sold him as a slave to that caravan heading west, he says:

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”  Genesis 50:20.

It’s an epic story you can check out for yourselves in Genesis chapters 37 to 50. 

And Joseph nails it.  Yes, God turned the lowest point of his life into something that ended up saving countless lives throughout a brutal famine. 

I really doubt my new phone will save lives.  But it’s been a good reminder.  And a faith-booster, if you will.  When I can see the hand of God helping to write the story, I can be more patient and steady in the storm.  And when it all resolves, I am full of praise and gratitude.

And we could wrap this post up nicely right here.

Except.

I would be less than honest if I gave the impression that every bad thing that happens has such an obvious glimpse of glory.  And I would suggest that if my faith is built only on the times I can clearly understand what God is doing with my pain, then it isn’t really faith at all.

Because “faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see” (Hebrews 11:1, emphasis added) and sometimes, sometimes we do not see any good out of the bad.  Not at all.

Sometimes a medical condition just simply wrecks its havoc.  Sometimes financial ruin just ruins.  Sometimes a motorcycle accident, or a stillbirth, or any other ripping away of beloveds never makes any sense at all.  Not that God explains to us at least.  Maybe, maybe God has a greater good in mind, but He’s not telling us what that is.

And it just needs to be said, if we’re being honest, that that’s exactly where the deepest faith is forged; in the dark pit of not having any good end to the story.  Not yet anyways.  Not here, not now, not where we can see it and understand it and write happy-ending blogs about sweaty phones turning into better things.

Hebrews 11 talks about both.  First half is all the good stuff.  Second half is all the brutal stuff.  And it’s all about faith, both halves.  And in describing the people who did NOT see the good outcomes, the author says this:

“All these people were still living by faith when they died.  They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth.  People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own….a better country – a heavenly one.  Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.”  Hebrews 11:13-16m emphasis added

So, yay for my new phone.  And yay for all the amazing ways horrible experiences end up turning out for good in ways we can see and celebrate.  And let’s be careful, of course and always, to give God thanks for all of it.

But also yay and kudos to those suffering in ways that seem pointless, but they keep living faithfully anyways.  God is not ashamed to be called your God.  That’s pretty incredible.  And so are you.

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With thanks to Bill H. for the gift that provided today's photo, and with the happy anticipation of experimenting more with this new camera!