Creatures of Habit

 

"In the morning, LORD, you hear my voice;
in the morning I lay my requests before you
and wait expectantly."
Psalm 5:3

At this point the blue jays have figured it out.

They're out on the deck railing even before I'm all set up, calling for some breakfast. The chipmunks too, putting little paws on my toes and looking way up, even before I can get the canister of peanuts in place.

Ken, who observes all this creaturely interaction from an amused arm's length, says, "Your friends have stopped by."

It's a morning ritual, as I set myself up on the deck to pray and work and read and write every day, weather permitting. Arrange the lounge chair, quilt and pillows, crank up the umbrella, gather my computer, Bible and any other books I'm going to need, put down my morning shake....and feed my friends.

They know to come because it's the routine.

I found this comforting when we were at Hot Springs too; the regular rhythms of the day. Especially in the mornings. Early worship, hearing the kids sweeping and singing during morning chores (yes, singing, and I'm not making that up), breakfast with my cup of jasmine green tea.

Rituals to begin the day. Regular ways to begin a morning that help to set the tone, get things going, feed my friends....and my soul.

Perhaps it's because my life seemed so upended for so long that I am relishing the routines now. The simple steadiness of knowing where to reach for a pen, or to know for sure where I last left my toothbrush, or to be able to pause long enough for morning reflections, brings a comforting reassurance that all is right with my little world for the moment.

It is sometimes said in my circles that God has had to 'get my attention' in some extreme kind of way. Some unexpected and disruptive event, or something of that sort. I've even heard people describe it as "God hit me up the side of the head." I can't argue with other people's experience of God, to be sure. God does move in mysterious ways, and He knows what's going to work best with any one of us.

But I'm just wondering if there might be a correlation between a regular quiet habit of sitting still long enough (measured by something like the time it takes for blue jays and chipmunks to trust you perhaps?) and the experience of God's gentle presence and loving guidance in ways less dramatic.

I don't have this thing in the bag (or the peanut jar) by any means. This is just something I aspire to. Being spiritually available in a regular, ordinary kind of way, I might call it. And I'm so grateful for this time and space to revel in that right now.

We're hoping to get at some painting today too. Started all that back in June, and we just keep working it, section by section.

Happy Tuesday...I still had to think about what day it was just there. So jet lag is almost done, I'd say.

Wishing you some good soul-quiet and whatever happy routines keep you grounded.

Church as a Love Affair

A dramatic sky and iffy radar readings make for some uncertainty as to whether or not (weather or not) we’ll have church this morning. Such is the reality when you don’t have an actual building but instead meet outside with the sky as your cathedral ceiling. It’s glorious when the day is bright, but less practical when intermittent and blustery showers are blowing by.

I’ll be sad if service is cancelled.

I don’t think you have to be a pastor-type to be all into Sunday mornings and the gathering of God’s people the way I experience it. This was part of my spiritual DNA long before I knew any sense of vocational calling to it. Even as a child, my family was not just dedicated to every-single-Sunday, but the whole deal of this being a Monday to Saturday community as well. I didn’t resent it. I loved being there early to set up chairs, and staying a bit later while the adults finished off conversations and the children found all the best hiding spots in the building.

Later I would fall in love with the capital C of Church that includes believers all over the world. Last Sunday I was preaching to a vibrant group of beloveds just 45 km east of Chiang Mai, and it was home. This morning another home-church of my heart will gather in the southwest corner of Kitchener. If the weather holds out, there will be a gathering of faithful Cognashene cottagers to worship with. And to me, all of this is a beautiful thing.

Not a perfect thing, but a beautiful thing just the same. I grieve with all of us in the reality that harm has been done within what it supposed to be the safety of the gathering of the saints. I have been harmed. And I live with the knowledge that, despite my best intentions otherwise, I have done harm. Let no fallible human being ever to step foot inside the doors of the Church fall under the illusion that they are immune to or incapable of doing real damage. We are not called saints because of our own merit or imperfection, not by any means.

Yet for some inexplicable reason, Jesus set us up to live in community like this. And, quite astonishingly He calls us His Bride. Cherished. Beautiful. Revered. The object of all He can offer. Please, dear fellow-followers of Christ, if we need to have hard and honest conversations, let’s do so, and let the healing be done in the name of Jesus. But let’s be very cautious about neglecting, rejecting, casting aspersions on and offering generalized criticisms of what the Bridegroom holds as precious.

Just something in me needed to say all of that this morning.
Hopefully I've done so with grace and love and respect.

Ironically, the same weather conditions that might cancel our service on the rocks this morning also interferes with the signal that might bring Highview’s online service to my computer. So, I’m not really sure how this morning will pan out.

Either way, I pray good things for you this Sunday.
Good and healing and loving and vibrant things.

Wrecked a Little

I really think 'sort and file trip pictures' needs to be a separate segment of my job description. Or maybe it's a part time job all on its own.

Capturing the moments of any given visit to Hot Springs is a happy component of every trip when we're there, without question. There's so much I want to remember, so much I want to share with family, friends and supporters. It's especially important, it seems, to at least make an attempt to convey some of the vibrancy and essence of our family life together, even though only a smidge of it gets through in pictures, or even videos.

But every trip I try.

It takes time, though. Partly because there's always so many! (And this year I have Abby and her four-camera passion to add to the mix.) But also because I stop and relive each moment, reveling in it, feeling it, hurting a little from missing them so much already. This, despite my intention to just 'tidy up the downloads.'

Yet while, I might complain a tad about how 'feeling every picture' isn't all that efficient, there's really no other way for me to go about this. At least, I wouldn't want it to become anything less.

I was with a group of pastor friends one day, and we were talking about the emotional impact of mission, and of mission trips in particular. One of them, who at that time had had much more experience leading cross cultural teams than I, made the comment, "If anyone comes back unmoved, unchanged, unaffected, they probably shouldn't have been there in the first place. It's supposed to wreck you a little."

I've honestly lost track of how many times I've done this. Sixteen years of one to three trips per year. And, yes, I'm wrecked a little every single time.



The good thing about sorting pictures is that it can be done in the wee hours of the morning when jet lag has you up way too early. It's quiet then; gives you the space to feel all the feels.

Having said that, I'm not finding things too too difficult in the readjustment department. My body is glad the travelling is done. I had such attentive care when I was there, for sure. They genuinely want me to be rested and strong, and provide for that beautifully. And also, I'm now here by the water, yielding gratefully to the restoration of my soul.

Brace yourselves for more pictures.
I haven't finished sorting and filing them all yet :).

All Glorious

 

First time out in the kayak since June 16!

The implications of a rather complicated summer, including an emergency appendectomy and subsequent recovery thereof, have kept me on the dock, full of longing.

But this morning, with calm waters at sunrise, and fully six weeks post-surgery, and jet-lag notwithstanding, I ventured out to see if my body could handle what my soul so badly needed.

And yes!

All glorious sunrise, all beauteous and stunning, and reminding me again of the faithfulness of God and the spectacular order of creation.

To ease my husband's wise concerns, I did not attempt a full go-round the island. Only just down the channel past the church to where it opens up. Here the water was not quite so calm. But that's okay, because the breeze and flow brought me gently home again.

Home again it is.

Our arrival back on the Freddy yesterday signals the next phase of the aforementioned complicated summer. I'll call this the resting phase.

After the painful and urgent trip to the hospital ending in an emergency appendectomy....
and after the frenzy of closing date and the last push of packing...
and after the abundant and crazy-joy of a full cottage with family...

and after a robust trip to Thailand and the crazy-joy of the family there (including introducing Abby to that part of my heart)...

After all of that, there is now. Welcoming the day out in the kayak, out on the deck with friends who like peanuts (including a very young-looking blue jay), the quiet of August by the water.

This is now.

All glorious.

Also, I might call this the finding-stuff-and-putting-it-properly-away phase. While most of what we will need once our new small home is completed is in storage, we've brought boxes and bins up here with us for what we'll need in the next three months of living. And as organized as I tried to be, there are more items than I'd like to admit that I really have no idea where they are!

So here's to more days of kayaking, and sorting and putting away, and just being quiet for a while.

I miss all the children at Hot Springs.
Just needed to say that too.

Happy Thursday, folks.
I think that's what day it is, anyways.

Soon on Our Way

 

Breakfast is about 30 minutes yet, and I've completed all the tidying of teaching and craft supplies, as well as all my personal items I keep here in a bin. Bags were mostly packed last night, and also weighed. Just all that last minute stuff that always happens, well, last minute.

So I'm sitting in a morning that's quiet but for the distant crowing rooster, and the sounds of morning chores getting done. Other birds, and crickets, and the fan.

By 8 a.m. (Tuesday morning Thai time, 8 p.m. Monday night Canadian time) we'll be in the car heading for the airport. We've checked in on line, got the best seats we could for this first, shorter flight, packed the carry ons with all the comforts we'll need for the longer flight, and have our passports at the ready.

Two weeks. And two unusual weeks. The effect of recovering from surgery and the subsequent lack of time, energy or head space to write very much at all other than daily reports of out activities, leaves me with a tinge of regret. There's so much more that happened in hearts. So much learning, so much growing.

Perhaps, instead of regret, I'll just leave with the anticipation of more reflection and processing once we're back on Canadian soil. By then perhaps I will have downloaded more pictures! (My phone has been complaining of not enough space for about 3 days now.)

I especially want to talk more about how it was to share this experience with Abby. For right now I'll just say that it was amazing and wonderful to watch her melt right in to life here, as if this wasn't her first trip, as if she's been here many times before, as if she already knew the place very well.

For who've been praying and supporting us in all the ways you do, thank you! Thank you already for all the messages wishing us a safe trip home.

We'll keep you posted as we go.

Time and Times Again

Sometimes I make the best faces!

Abby caught this one earlier this week when we did an outing to Doi Sutep, then stopped by the "King Kong" resort (not its real name but others who've been here will know what I'm talking about) for lunch.

So, this is not necessarily this morning's face. But it probably reflects my excitement and gratitude today for it being Sunday, and for the anticipated worship at Hot Springs Church.

What a difference a week makes! I am feeling so much stronger and clearer and not-jet-lagged this morning compared to just a week ago today. I'm speaking this morning on God's perfect timing, and it's hard not to draw oh so many considerations out of it all.

The timing of the sale of our house.
The timing of my emergency appendectomy.
The timing of this trip.
All back-to-back and overlapping one another in rapid succession.
What 'bad' timing!

Except.

It seems to me that there are two circumstances where we tend to question God's perfect timing on things. One is when we need something to happen right now, but it seems to us to be taking too long. The other is when something unexpected happens at what seems like a bad time to us.

And yet. If we say we believe in a God who's 'got this,' a God who is all knowing and wise and loving and works with us towards His best plans and purposes for our lives...then is anything really 'too late,' or 'inconvenient' in the big picture?

Pause for moment of honest respect.

Have I mentioned how sobering it is to realize I was not on the plane when my appendix ruptured?

And also, with the time thing, I'm really amazed at how fast these two weeks have gone. We leave for the airport by about 8 a.m. Tuesday morning, (8 p.m. Monday night in Canada) so today and tomorrow are our last full days.

Sigh.

More pictures to follow. We did a massive craft bonanza yesterday and everyone worked really hard on their pictures and cards. I'll be careful not to spoil any surprises we'll bring home, but there certainly were some concentrated faces around the table.

If you're praying for us, thank you so much.
We totally know it.

Do Rabbits Have Souls?

Rainy season.

It's come down non stop for three days, cancelling some of our hoped for excursions, but providing a lovely sense of quietly just being at home. No complaints here, and Abby has adapted beautifully.

Happily one of those days we had the children home with us, and even yesterday, after school, even after our reading time was done, Abby brought out her floss and some beautiful bracelets were spun from little eager hands.

I've been trying to keep up with emails, mostly simply letting Sponsors know specific things we're observing about their Child. And yesterday I finished writing the sermon I am preaching on Sunday.

Also realized yesterday that we've only got four more days here really. And starting to think of some logistics of how to get all the cards and pictures the children have been preparing back to all of their Sponsors when I'm not really stationed in KW right now. Feeling the pull, a little, between my worlds.

But overall, the past few days have felt a little lazy in all the lovely ways a rainy string of days will do that. Not unlike, if I think about it, how a spell of bad weather in the winter keeps us all tucked in.

And now we approach the weekend. Tomorrow will bring another happy onslaught of crafts and painting and cards for our Sponsors. Evening worship time on a Friday night often enough includes a game. It's crazy good what kinds of games you can get into when your family has so many energetic brothers and sisters. Perhaps a game of Thai (aka Dutch) Blitz is in order?

So, this compelling questions about rabbits.

It came from Meena who took up a reading challenge given to the older girls. Read the book and answer the questions in the back. Her book was about rabbits, and the last question to answer was, "Do you have any other questions about rabbits?" This was Meena's.

Love this. It demonstrates a deeper sense of spirituality and a theological curiosity we want to foster in our kids. I spent just a few minutes last night, answering that question from my own theological perspective. And since my Facebook and blog spaces are not meant to be controversial in any way, I will leave the conversation - which I'm happy to have - to other venues of discourse.

For now, let's just say we are rounding the corner into our last few days with an increased sense of being at home, being encircled by family, and being touched and stretched by the Spirit.

Have a great weekend everyone...when your Friday comes, that is :).