"I'm Afraid I Must Recline"

One aspect of what I get to do as part of my responsibilities is to organize people around a big vision, goal or event.  Inherent in that is recruiting support and volunteers.  This means I'm often asking folks for their time and energy, encouraging belonging through participation, providing meaningful engagement for things bigger than ourselves.

I have no problem asking for this.  I believe strongly in the visions we collectively work towards.  There's goodness in helping people discover what they are capable of.  And I love watching the bonding between unlikely comrades when we all put ourselves to a common task.

So when people says 'yes' that's fantastic.

And, I fully respect it when people say 'no.'

Right now I am gathering Teams around a happy event at Highview known as our Haiti Dinner and Silent Auction.  You'll have to link over to Highview to Haiti for all the cool things that's all about.  But for now, let's just say that my inbox is full of the outgoings and ingoings of lining up the volunteers needed.

Yesterday I received a 'no' response from someone I won't name but who is giving me permission to tell the story.  In the email they said, "I'm afraid I must recline."  I checked, and yes they did mean to write 'decline.'

I know this person well.  I know they have a heart for others, and a heart for this cause in particular.  I know they think through the way they spend their energies carefully, and I'm totally fine with their 'no.'

AND.  

I think it's hilarious, and quite appropriate that there was this particular typo.  It speaks to a truth I want to live by.

Most of us, or is just me, in rsvp-ing 'no' to something, believe we have to be busy with something else before the 'no' is valid.  To say to someone that you won't be involved because you'll be home resting seems wrong somehow.  But what if the reason we aren't willing to participate is that we have assessed our capacity and simply want to be good stewards of our energies?  

What if the answer is expressed correctly, "I'm afraid I must recline?"

Of course we know that every 'yes' is actually a 'no' to something else anyways.  So what if the 'no' we're saying when we say 'yes' to something is a 'no' to healthy rest?  I can't speak for everyone who gathers volunteers, or in any other way asks for time and attention, but it is NEVER my intention to ask people to neglect self care.

Pause for the 'other side.'   Some folks do need to be 'lovingly encouraged' to 'get off their duffs' and get involved.  This is not about that.

This is about sincere and earnest people like my friend who has very truthfully told me that they are 'afraid I must recline.'

Yes!  You must.  Recline.  Rest.  Restore.  Be ready to be fully present to the other good things God has given in your life.  Some of them are things only you can do.  Be wise.  Be careful.  Kudos.  I applaud you.

There's sometimes a 'myth of scarcity' in play when we are trying to gather resources, people, and energies for the good thing God want us to be doing.  As if we were somehow competing for the very little there is to go around.  But the truth is, God is so much more than sufficient.  I don't have to panic if someone says 'no.'  Because if it's God's thing, He'll bring the people together to get it done.  

Ironically, I just said 'no' to something today myself; something I believe in, something I have loved to do in the past, but I know that the timing of it, the commitment of it over this winter/spring, will not be a 'yes' to other energies I will be needing for some important changes coming for Ken and I.  

And in between the events and the changes, in the midst of other 'yeses', there are times when it's true for me too.  

Quite true, this typo.  

I'm afraid I must recline.  

Likely with a cup of tea.  

Stay safe with whatever storm is on the way friends.

Maybe the bad weather will all help us stay home and 'recline' at little better.