The Steps for This Dance Now

 

At the market by the Ping River on the street bridge (Chiang Mai).

Ken and I worked hard this weekend. Big happy things happening, that required the best of us in coordination, leadership, heavy lifting, and just plain ol' git 'er done.

But we didn't do it together. In fact, I'm talking about two separate, important 'projects' than normally would find us shoulder to shoulder, but simply because of calendar logistics, found us this weekend working without each other.

Ken had a deadline with the building inspector overseeing our cottage project and needed to gather a work crew to clear a big mess on our property up north.

I had a Garage Sale and a dedicated crew with me in Kitchener.

Neither of us was alone. Each of us had a great group of dedicated folks with us to accomplish the task. And the results for both were over the top satisfying in the end.

But I felt his absence in the press of it. These kinds of events we normally do together. And I cannot count how often, over the weekend, I wished he was there, doing what he always did for the sale. Set up, and cash box and counting, and clean up. But more, just to be there to consult with and decide together on any number of things that come up.

As I write he's still asleep, and he got back late last night, so we didn't really get a chance to report to each other how things went. So I don't even know if he missed me or not. Maybe not, which would be good. But before he left he was expressing that he wasn't sure how it would go without me. For the same reasons.

Thank you Lord for the good things that got done this weekend and the competent people who served so selflessly!

And I'm also actually feeling glad for the realization that in this era of our marriage Ken and I have finally found our stride to work as a team.

I think, I hope other married couples get here way sooner. But it's taken us a long, long time to work through our different personalities and giftings in order to be able to be the kind of team it seems we are now. To stop subconsciously competing and start deeply completing. To relinquish some of that unspoken need to control that makes humans fiercely independent and isolated at times, and allow instead for collaboration and listening and learning from each other.

Not sure when I started noticing it. Long before this weekend, of course. But not until recently, like maybe the past 5 or 6 years, if I'm being honest. Some important life transitions gave us the opportunities to rethink the purpose of our marriage and how we want to serve God together in the next decade.

It's been worth it to keep working on it though. To get here. To get to a place where we genuinely miss each other in a ministry context as well as a home context.

To figure out the steps of this dance for this time in our lives.

Hope he gets to sleep in a little today.

Glad he's home.