Getting Ready for the Next Run

One of the serendipities of doing a deep purge is that you find treasures.

Yesterday's was a plain white box, instigated by my friend Anne Campbell (who's good at this sort of thing) for the purpose of collecting messages of hope and encouragement during one of the most disorienting times in my life.

Knowing what would be inside, and reluctant to put myself back into a space I had long left behind, I wasn't quite sure just how much emotional energy I wanted to spend lingering there. I'm already feeling a fair bit of big-move-fatigue just in how persistently we've been prepping the house for showing.

But I did it.

Got myself comfortable on the couch and just started reading.

And it was...amazing.

Card after card, printed-off emails, letters in the mail. Often it was from folks with whom I hadn't been in touch for quite some time, but who had heard what was going on, and had reached out in compassion and support. So many!

I'm sure when I first read those messages, they encouraged me deeply. And I also know that when I first read those messages, I was in a full-out, lead-through-the-chaos, fiercely-focused state of mind. So taking the time, some 16 years later, on an unplanned March afternoon, to let all the love just flow over me again, was

....incredible.

And for those of you who might remember it, and whose love was permeated through the cards and emails I sorted through, thank you isn't enough.

And also.

Tucked into the white box was a note I had written myself.

It was addressed to our church staff at the time, and apparently it was supposed to have gone home from the cottage attached to a zip lock bag of home baked cookies. Why it was in this box, and whether or not the note, or even the cookies, were ever delivered, I really can't recall.

But my own words caught me off guard a little.

"I remain convinced that all that has transpired in this past while is firmly in His grasp, and will work TOWARD His plans and purposes for us all. We are in a defining moment that can shape us for the kingdom from this day forward IF WE LET IT.

"My heart, while saddened at the unspeakable losses, is still eager to head into a fall full of promise."

I then encourage the staff to take care of each other, stay strong, keep their own hearts turned to Abba, and remind them to have a little fun, perhaps represented by the cookies, I'm not sure.

And it's signed, "Getting ready for the next run, Ruth Anne."

There is no comparison to what was happening then to what is happening now with our upcoming move. None whatsoever.

Except, in reading my own words, yesterday afternoon, in the midst of a serendipitous discovery because I am deep purging the house getting ready to move..... I realized that I have been feeling somewhat disrupted, and not a little anxious about the 'misty middle' part our particular right-sizing journey will require over the spring and summer months. And it's coming upon us quickly.

And, yes, I would have to call this step a 'defining moment' that has so much potential to shape Ken and I, and our family, for the kingdom, if we let it.

So if God could be faithful then - and He was, in spades!! - He will be faithful now. And if, in the midst of what could easily have been a big fat screeching halt to my life as I knew it, I could lean all the way into God's strength, and declare myself getting ready for a 'next run', then I most certainly can do that now.

Like I said, no comparison. And praise be to God for all the astonishing redemption that has happened since those days!!!

But in those moments on the couch I realized again that here is another defining moment. A big step for us, representing what we believe God is leading us to do and be in these next decades of our lives. Something that will shape us more and more into the image of Christ, if we let it.

How hopeful, and how life-giving to be reminded of how much love and support I've received in the past!

How hopeful, and how life-giving to realize that, in all of this disruption now, God is getting us ready for the next run!

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